Time flies and as the years creep by
My knees are sore and weak
my heart is torn and meek
my eyes are memories
long forgotten
forever ignored
I hate the feeling in my throat
the will life has for air
even though it treats me so unfair
I hold my breath and squeeze my eyes
My heart pounding
Lungs feel as though they are doubling in size
I feel faint, dizzy and just before I welcome the darkness
I slip into a short rest and awake again only to find
that my knees are sore and weak
My heart is torn and meek
My eyes are memories I don't want anymore
and my breath is still here
never opening my deathly door

My stomach is in knots
My mind is distraught
I clench my eyes shut
As this feeling has left me in a rut
I know it will hurt you
But know that it hurt me too
If I stay any longer
My feelings will never grow stronger
A love without emotion
Is one I cannot stay
And although you swear that you will make me pay
For this broken love that lead you astray
Demanding
Begging
and finally Crying
For me to stay and give you my heart once more
But I cannot be the one you will want to adore
No more
I gift a gentle gaze, my smile crooked as I leave
My broken love behind
As I have finally set my mind free

I am in a fight with myself
My heart screaming to be heard
My head shutting it down
The pure thought of this feeling terrifies me
But at the same time
releases me
I listen to my heart
Her smile is pure and gentle
Her eyes filled with care and hope
Her touch is like that of a feather against my heart
Fluttering constantly
I listen to my head
He likes the sound of my voice
He likes the way I appear
and the touch I give him
like a taste of love that you would find in a whiskey bottle
He takes what I have
But how can I give him what he wants?
When she already has it?

Monster stay with me all around
They shot down my hope, Pinned my heart to the ground
They walk beside me, silent stalkers with no end
They lean in and whisper
daring me as they bash inside my head
I hate the feeling they rip through me
They steal my happiness and claw at my smile
They turn it into a frown, but I guess its alright after awhile
After all, they are part of me
The only thing I want to be
The only thing I hate to accept
Is the monster inside of me

Taking a seat beside you
I smile
And you return it
But it feels
empty
As I look into your weary eyes
I see nothing
Nothing of the boy I once knew
Your smile has never woken
Your spirit is always broken
Your fear only grows
As death between you tolls
Whispering
watching
Waiting for you to make a move
so it can break you down
making you lose more weight then just a pound
Laughs as you cry burning tears
Ones you hid from me for years
But what really sets me off-task
Is when I ask you and take away the flask,
'Don't you want this to stop? Doesn't it hurt?'
and you reply, lonely gaze raised towards the sky
Your lips tainted with alcoholic lies
**'I'm used to it"