They Call Me Ellen: Poems

Chicago

They Call Me Ellen Mar 2017

Chicago

I finally realized what I was looking for
It was easy love

The kind that poets write about and you feel at three a.m.
Sitting on a downtown balcony in the middle of a warm summer night
Stars out and time is infinite
Kind of love

The kind they write movies about
Or you feel driving with the windows down
singing your favourite songs
Kind of love

The kind of love that doesn’t exist
Or that you wish existed
But you know deep down you could never be that lucky

You're not that special
You're not that pretty
Happiness and love like that
Is for fairytales
And tv series
And for beautiful people
With ideal lives

Not for me
Not for you
And definitely not for us

#love #heartbreak #feelings #night #late #stress #breathe #together #us #calm

I am the most honest at 3am

They Call Me Ellen Mar 2017

I am the most honest at 3am

I'm laying in bed with him and all I can think about is you.
And about how lonely I feel beside him.
And how I would never feel lonely beside you.

You fill every space between us and I miss you.
And I'm worried I made a mistake.
I'm worried that I agreed to this too soon.
And I don't know what to do.

Or maybe this happens every time I'm with someone new-
maybe that's a sign that I haven't been paying attention to.

I just honestly have no idea where to go from here.
And I know it's late
And maybe I'm over thinking things
or under thinking
but the point is that I miss you.

#love #heartbreak #broken #heart #mind #night #late #confusion #3amvxeq

Not yours to take//Not mine to give

They Call Me Ellen Dec 2016

Not yours to take//Not mine to give

Not even the black out
Could blind me
From the pain, shame and regret
The next morning

j.

#love #regret #pain #alone #hurt #growth #understanding #rebirth

When I miss you the most

They Call Me Ellen Aug 2017

When I miss you the most

I used to tell you "be safe."
Put on your seatbelt,
Don't speed,
Don't do anything reckless-
Don't do anything that could leave me
Without you.

Now I find myself
Driving 40 over the speed limit,
Without a seatbelt on,
Visiting all of the places
Where I miss you the most.

#love #lost #safety #without

you are sunshine and rain/ /you are everything that makes the world grow

They Call Me Ellen Dec 2016

you are sunshine and rain/ /you are everything that makes the world grow

if i could
i would trace the skyline of your body with my lips
and colour you in sunset with my fingertips

i would etch sonnets into your back
about the days and nights
that i lack your presence

my words would paint pictures of grey skies
because you are the sun
and all i see is rain when you are not around

#love #lust #rain #beauty #sunshine #sunset #grey #gray

— The End —