I used to welcome our story
With a smile on my face
And a flutter in my chest,
But now there only remains
The bitterness on my tongue

I used to blindly believe
In fairy-tale endings
That I still wish to have faith in,
Even though now
I’m more familiar with tragedies

Now I lie to myself
That everything is fine,
The same,
And that it couldn’t be better
But I know it could.

I sit alone
As darkness consumes me
And I wonder
What am I
Even
Doing
Here?

I wish I was deaf.
Because every time I hear the wind sing,
I hear it calling your name.

I wish I was blind.
Because in every constellation and in every shadow,
I see the image of your face.

I wish I was mute.
Because every time I start to speak,
My lips wish to call out to you.

I wish I was immobile.
Because my feet ache to run to you,
Even though they shouldn't.

I wish I was dead.
Because every day I spend living is wasted,
Since none of them are spent with you.

From the first moment
I lost myself in your eyes

Drinking in the sight of you
The slow burn in your eyes
I often don't know what to do
As you leave me hypnotized

I breathe in your scent
And your fragrance fogs my mind
I focus on the small fragment
Of what you could be hiding inside

Soft whispers and feather touches
That you provide leave me breathless
Timid smiles and stolen glances
Make my wild heart so restless

And you seem to come closer every time
To show me what I still cannot see
As if you try to make our lips align

                                                                            **or is it just me?

I shall never admit
that all of my breaths
and heartbeats
are meant
only for you

I shall never admit
that all of my stars
and galaxies
I've saved
only for you

I shall never admit
that I've spent sleepless nights
leaving my whispers and tears
on my pillow
only for you

I shall never admit
that I was often speechless
while my knees, so restless,
buckled
only for you

I shall never admit
that for days I dreamed awake
and countless verses
I made
only for you

I shall never admit
that I will write, eternally
that this heart will bleed, internally
hopelessly
only for you
*my love

There are unknown universes
in the deepest parts of your soul
that I wish to explore
*but you won't let me in