There is no love
where we try to find it
My voice has grown hoarse
just because of this course we have taken
When will the skies ever admit that you are going away forever?
All you ever were
and you ever are is an illusion
You will pass
just like when I asked
"Will you stay?"
I am forgetting the days we thought of us with an irreplaceable value
when my heart would flutter
and my eyes would squeeze out fresh juices of sparkle once we touched gazes
Ah! Such endeavors lead to errors
ones we have not dreamed or thought of yet
ones you never seem to realize
ones you never seem to actualize with to try and at least warn me of?





Maybe you do not mind losing me at all.



Yet where our tiny pieces of happiness lie,
there is a draining void---a blacking seeping through
******* in every source of hope or trust in what has happened being eaten by the truth of change and nature

I should never expect
shant I ever have,
I should not

I am sad I am starting to forget
but to remember means to hurt

You're drifting away
Slipping from my reach
You're gone
You've gone

And so are the memories of you

But what I'll never forget
is the shuddering of my heart
the tempering of my soul
the melting of my own
when I see your face
a figure,  shadow, a glimpse of you
how you make me feel
whether heat or blue
that, I will never forget

I am sad whenever I remember
but to forget means to hurt

The language of my heart
cries aloud
wants to be heard
though no ear be found decent

The language of my heart
burning or cooling
drying itself on its on rate
it follows no one

The language on my heart
speaks to you
yet you are too consumed
by the world's tune
whatever it does

Oh you do not understand the language of my heart
you never will
you never will

Difficult
it is to stay happy
Difficult
it is to remain
Whether in sadness or in complete ecstacy
The days they change
And so does you and I

Difficult
it is to love
Difficult
it is to look above
Especially when everything is shaking you
Braking you
Taking you away from what really matters

And what really matters is that you look above

deep inside my chest there is a whirring a stirring
of flavors such as lemon and chair
pull me aside
explain to me that everything's going to be alright
please

all I hear is silence
and the thumping of my heart
why is it still beating
I thought I heart an eating, a rotting
deep inside my chest

What is this I'm feeling?
Please tell me that everything will be all right.

"that's an obsession"
oh no it's a lesson
why is my past time
innocently pondering about what you are probably doing?
oh no. it's an obsession

I said I'd write a story about you
"just to get it over with"
and now I'm write hundreds of letters
i should rather think of getting better
Than sitting around waiting for you to come around

It should've settled in my head that you may not
or on second thought
maybe this is just the obsession

For though you are gone
You have lived as an idea in my head
An ideal
Quite surreal

I hate to say this,
But I'm obsessed.

I had a bad dream.
There was a "you" amidst this slumber.
I...
Sent you letters
Sent you emails
Put you into literature and drawing
Wrote songs, poems, proses
Made you real in my head
Imagined you smiling
laughing
replying
talking to me
Why have I done such a horrid thing
to relive what is gone?

You aren't even real
You aren't
Real
You are not
Real

You exist beyond a meter or two
Your smile exists beyond the present--now a past
Your laugh exists outside my jokes and my stories
Your reply is but silence of a chattering crowd in between us
Our conversations are no where to be found.

Our worlds
(once, united)
are now once again
far apart.

We do not coexist.

I was just dreaming.
And now I have woken up.
You are not real.
You were never real.