Losing people,
for me,
is a constant cycle.
No one ever sticks
I never knew it'd
end like this.

I wonder what would happen if you knew,
Those times when I had a glimpse of you,
Smiling with those eyes that can't seem to be true,
Or on that day when we talk about dew,
And how my heart was racin' but you've got no clue,
Oh, what would happen if you knew,
How many times my heart aches for you,
Though in love I still feel blue,
For deep in my heart, I knew it too.
That there can be no such thing as me and you.

-MCJ

because i believed you
because i never realized how brown your eyes really were until i had the courage to stare
because you told me you were happier this way
because i don't feel suicidal when i'm with you
because you wanted me to meet your mother
because you never ask me what's wrong
because you don't care about anything
because i wanted to know what would happen
because i was too scared to ask
because ******* for leaving the first time
because i love you for coming back
because you only ever touch me when you're drunk
because his lips didn't feel like yours
because he made me laugh but not the way you could
because of 3 am nights with you are all i want to remember
because 3 am nights without you sit in the middle of my chest like a boulder
because my father warned me
because i can't do it anymore
because i can't do it anymore

Why is it
That the biggest hearts
Are emptied the fastest?

And the brightest souls
Are blackened
The quickest?

You cross my mind sometimes still
but you don't flood my thoughts.

I dont think about you in the
"it hurts to hear your name"
kind of way anymore

I think about you when it's late on Saturday
and you aren't laying in my bed
picking my brain

and then I think,

maybe that's a good thing.

I shiver with pain
They call me insane
But what do they see?
Just the outer part of me?

I cannot breathe,
Because I am insane,
They just looked over
And tagged me a name
But do they see the soul my insides claim?

I do not know
If I am blind
Or if I am surrounded by blindness.