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you promised me
my heart's desire
then
gave me a flame
when
my heart wanted fire
i am 18 years old and i've kissed 17 boys. i've passed 16 classes, and cried at school 15 times. sophomore year i missed 14 days of school. i've figured out 13 ways to say "i didn't do my homework," and i am halfway through the 12th grade. my longest relationship lasted 11 months. i once left a picture up for 10 minutes, and received 9 comments about how unacceptable my shirt was. i have gone through 8 best friends and 7 phones. i've gotten lost on the road 6 times and i have 5 friends i plan to keep in touch with for the rest of my life. at my first job, i made $4 an hour. i've fallen in love 3 times, i've seen two therapists and i'm still holding on to this one thought that everything is going to be okay.
everything is going to be okay.
i started writing poetry again
because i thought of you often.

but now i feel like, soon,
you'll tell me that
you will never see me
as your sister sees the moon.

by soon,
i mean tomorrow after noon,

when i tell you how i feel -
that everything is true, everything is real.

i hope you love me enough
and tell me without a bluff:

*"it's okay, it's alright.
i will still love you through the night.
Through every day, i will love you
but not as you love me, too."
here goes nothing.
i feel dead.
 Sep 2016 destiney dawn
nabila s
i came too early that day. i remember that the room was still empty. you could even hear a footstep from the highest seat.

i didn't have anything to do so i sat on our supposed to be seat. it was not very high. we were on the middle seat. i was comfortable in that position anyway.

people came one by one, with their couple, their mother, their whole family. yet i was there all alone waiting for a man that promised to come before the show start.

you were right though. when the lights go out i could see you walking towards me holding a bucket of popcorn. at that point, i was 100% sure that the movie will not be as creepy as it should be (we watched horror movie back then, even though we both were chickens who couldn't watch no horror stuffs)  

the movie started, our selfes were half focused on the screen. the other is focused on our own mental. reminding it to not to go nuts when **** happens. we didn't talk much that time. we didn't even have the courage to eat the popcorn you bought.

sigh, this was the saddest part. you shouldn't have held my hand that tight. and i shouldn't have pulled your jacket so rough. wish we weren't watching horror movie so that wouldn't happened. i was indeed afraid of letting you go. but i did it anyway since i was a strong rebel, and end up regretting it now.

but anyway, thank you.

all that left now is emotion. painful feelings that cover my entire body every time i go to the theatre. it somehow attacks every inch of me, my senses are full of turbulances and trembeled affection.

hello again, and i'm sorry.
sorry for reminding you,
about how your hands,
felt like the world.

perhaps our love were only made for movie screen, and a piece of this pointless handwriting.

Sincerely,
your ex-almost lover.
never hold a hand so tight, it would left you a feeling of a little spark of a universe feel like.
Dear Little One,
What Is It Like
Being Happy All The Time?
Having Everyone In The World To Play With,
And Hearing Angels Chime?
A Beautiful And Strong Voice Telling You It Will Always Be Alright,
Even When Down Here, Countries Are Having Fights?
Little One, We Miss You, But We Know You're Happy In The Sky
Tell Me, Is God An Awesome Guide?
In loving memory of Gabriel 9-2-16 ❤️
 Apr 2016 destiney dawn
Kiara
Remember the day your friends were comparing scars? On their arms and upper thighs
They asked you where yours were and you said,
"Inside."
Did they know then, that your scars still burn when you touch them? That if you think about them for too long, you are right there again?
They asked you if they could see yours and you said,
"Sure."
Today I realized that all bodies are beautiful and strong because they have the power to transport our souls.
I found him shattered
From life battered
I lent a helping hand
I tried to understand
He picked up a crystal
Used it as a pistol
Left me bleeding as well
Farewell love, farewell
April 20th, 2016
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