I  miss you calling my name, while I'm right there - pulling your hair.
Getting you all hot and tired and messy.
tears in those eyes, as temperatures rise.
Make-up all over my neck, pillows, and flesh.
What started with a peck,
turned to nibbling on your neck,
Then bit your ear,
Pulled you near,
Now you are running out of breathe.
Teasing me,
This is what punish meant.
Dripping wet.
Clothes on the floor,
Bed sheets soaked in wet.
You whispered, "Hurt me!"
Said it so silently,
but so sexually.
Guess
you
were
testing
me.

How does she hide her shame?
How does a girl hide her wet eyes and hot cheeks
from her disapproving mother and father
How does stop her shaking lips
shaky breaths
crumpling face
pacing feet
from surfacing at the worst moment.
How does she refine her ways
to become the best daughter she can be,
the girl she once was.
The honor roll,
never grounded,
follow the rules,
love herself,
love life,
social girl
she once was.

The question could be,
why
when she closes the door quietly,
does she not let them fall
hot and salty
satisfying and disappointing
down her cheeks without hesitation?
Why doesn’t she let her lip shake
as she curls into a ball to try to drain
the shame from her body
in the form of her tears.

Because she does not want to be
caught
red handed
pink cheeked
red eyed,
Because they will ask the question,
Why are you crying?
They will ask it in the exasperated tone,
like it’s the most ridiculous thing
they’ve ever seen
ever heard.
They will look down at her like a
ridiculous
dramatic
theatrical
child.
They will tell her to stop crying,
because it will not help.
They will shame her for crying.

But don’t they know
they’re just making it
harder
for her to rid herself of the shame
they just
dumped on her.

Because she’s only just a girl.

I am a cocoon of sorts,
When I love, I love hard.
I work hard,
Every day,
Loving and caring, holding, nurturing.
I try my hardest to build the confidence of the one I love.
I'm there,
I'm whole,
Until one day,
The person I love,
Is so confident,
So ready,
That they leave.
And when they leave,
I crack, I break, I'm empty.
They're gone,
And I'm stuck,
Hanging there,
Alone,
Like a cocoon.

My world is falling apart. I can’t see any light in the end of this long dark tunnel. The waves are flooding and I can’t find my way home. I can’t breathe. Is it all just a bad nightmare?

We shared cigarette sticks
cans of beer only
and drunken kisses
only for it to end
sooner than we expected
leaving us with nothing at all to hold between us.

For you held on to your own heart so dear
unwilling to bare it all to me

Refusing to even look at me
Look at what my soul had to offer you
For you were so afraid of what could happen between us

You cradled your heart in your hands
Holding it close to the gap where it used to be
afraid to put it back
for fear of breaking it in the process