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She entered her son's bedroom and found him playing hide and seek.
"Shhhh mommy. Don't make a noise, he'll figure out where I am hiding."
His mother smiled and ruffled his hair, "Okay sweetie, just come downstairs for dinner when you're done playing."

"Honey, what's our son up to?", her husband asked her while reading the newspaper.
"The same like always, playing with his imaginary friends.", she laughed.

Inside the cupboard, their hiding place, they whispered slowly.
"Don't tell mommy that we play together, she'll think you're crazy."
"But you're my brother, I am sure they'll be very happy."
"No. You don't get it, for them I'll always be the dead baby."
I have come to an impasse in my life
I no longer have a definitive direction
Now only questions without answers
And answers with no explanation
In all things I lack the closure I crave
Just a gaping hole filled with misery
I long to at last carve out the sorrow
To be free and **** that part of me
That part that refuses to let me heal
To let the scars of the past fade
But some wounds never truly mend
And in this realization I am unmade.
I'm in a dark place. Don't know if this will make sense to many, but just maybe one or two.
 Nov 2014 Dark Musings
PrttyBrd
I'm trying so hard to breathe
But the burning in my chest
The flames in my soul
Make it impossible
I lack the oxygen I need

I'm trying so hard to stand tall
But I'm starting to fall
Because the weight on my shoulders
Is heavier than boulders
I simply can't have it all

No we can't have it all
But we can have nothing
Nothing in common
But the weight of the world
Watching in awe as beside me you fall

And the embers, they smolder
For an hour or a day
As the breath Ignites once again
Consuming the smile
Before it is ever born


I'm trying so hard to just be here
But I'm beginning to doubt
To lose my faith in happiness
To bask in all my loneliness
I need help to figure it out

I'm trying so hard to believe
In the unknown, in what I can't see
But life is really bringing me down
I'm just gonna paint on this frown
I'll never find someone to love me

So, to the flaming death of joy we toast
Taking in the screams
On the decent of all who falter
I watch you fall in silence
Sharing a pain that consumes everything

You are focused on nothing
I am focused on you, oblivious to all
My loneliness beaten back by your own
If only momentarily we glance past each other
The air too heavy to revive all that is dying


I'm trying, I'M TRYING, I'M TRYING
All I can feel around me is the dying
I see the painful look in your eyes
I know it's simply your disguise
I want you to know, I really am trying

I'm trying to breathe, to stand, to be here, to believe
But all this death is surrounding me
Dragging me down, into my darkened soul
A place I know, you'll never follow
I need help with my feigned destiny

*One cannot follow what is right beside
Bathing in the aftermath of despair
Weight of the world, of lost souls,
Of the intangible yearning to feel
There is only loneliness for fear of sharing

Afraid of loosening the grip on the comfort of stagnant pain
or facing the nothingness of the unknown
We look but do not see anything save our own pain
No, one cannot follow what is right beside
I'll hold your pain if you'll hold mine
110914
A Collab between The Girl Who Loved You  and myself (in italics).  A fun endeavor indeed. :)
i want to pour you
into my favorite mug
savor your warmth
and drink up your love

you are my daily
cup of sweet, warm tea
i never need to add
honey or sugar to

you are all i need
to wake up in the
early, quiet morning
you are all i ever need
i dont know, i think this poem is just super cute and i am very proud of it.
If you took away all my sadness
and useless rage.
I'm afraid there wouldn't be
Much left standing.
So I'm not asking for
Your cure.
I just need a few bucks
So I can drink,
With my friends.

So maybe tonight won't be
So God ****** rough.

Music is my medicine
but lately,
It's not workin'
I'm ganna need a double dose,
To feel alright.
So I'll blast crystals to my cranium,
So I don't feel so low.
I'll play my guitar and sing
until my lungs explode.

So maybe tonight won't be
So God ****** rough.
 Nov 2014 Dark Musings
Just Melz
She cries late
                  every night
     Turns off all the
                           lights
         Sits in bed
bawls
             her eyes out
      in the dark
Cutting out pieces
      of her heart
No one can see
                          the scars
           of her sewing
back up her chest
       Soon she will be
             an empty shell
        Hopefully
                    putting her soul to rest
If her heart
                    is no longer there
It can't get broken,
              right?
If no one can see
                          the tears
Then she never cried,
                     right?
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