all of your grace and blessing, I have taken for granted
but when everything was lost, I was humbly reminded

all of my faults and sins, You lovingly washed away
I've fallen yesterday but you raised me up today

there are times and moments that I've felt severely defeated
then You came down from the Heavens where you were seated

You have given me life, you've given me purpose
but in return, to save my soul, Your life became the cost

You gave up Your life so that I may live
the Son of the Father we have received

You died and was resurrected
Death, You have defeated
To save mankind, You have succeeded

She wanted more,
more than she was able to have.

She wasn't happy with herself,
she wanted to be part of their world.

Swimming wasn't enough.

Oh how she wanted to walk,
to walk away from all of her problems.

The people she let down.
The disappointment.

She was scared.
Scared that she'll never be as good as she was,
a long time ago,
in a place almost distant.

She changed.

She lost her voice.
Her motivation.
Her desire.

She wanted to be happy Again.
She had lost her world and everything important.

She wanted to go back
to her previous home.

She jsut wanted to swim
and be happy
with little disappointment.

It was fear that held her back.

dolorimetry
n. The measurement of pain sensations

How do you measure pain?
a gasp
a step or two
away
from someone whose
world used to
revolve around you
a tear
a sigh
a stretch of arms
that used to wrap
a soul so tender and warm.

How do you measure pain?
a stomp
a slap
a finger pointed like
a gun or a dagger
on your chest—
accusing
complaining
tired, frustrated
infuriated.
How do you measure pain?
the distance
from A to Z
a tick of clock
a grain of sand
blown by the wind
a drop of blood
from a blade-stricken wrist.

How do you measure pain?
a smile
a laugh
a response telling
them you’re fine
but hell, you’re not.

I always love new beginnings, new year resolutions. I love change. I love how January made me feel that "Oh, another year to have fun". I quickly grabbed a chocolate and watched my parents having their own quality time.


They were talking about divorce, and I've always wondered how did divorce even became an option? I never thought he would end the fight with his own fist and her blood. And I hated February, ever since then.


I told my friends that I hated love and how ****** love made me felt last month. They wished love will knock at their door this March. I asked why, they just told me "love isn't always a bad thing, and it never will."


I saw her crying and cursing her boyfriend's name at the corner. The day after that, I hated my Mom for forgiving my Dad, right after what he did. She just told me that's how love works. I guess April was made for bitter people like me.


May is my birth month. It was also the month, when we first met. I never liked the idea of you. You were the kind of guy, everyone can love but not everyone can handle.


I saw you with your friends, you were having fun. You asked me if you can court and steal my heart, I said no, but you continued anyway. June gave me feelings I thought I will never have.


You hugged me tight and asked me to stay. I said, I can't not because I didn't want to, but because I have to. You held my hand and told me you love me. July ended well because of you.


August started with a fight. My Mom hated me. You started talking to other girls, just like how my Dad did. All I did was to cry like tomorrow doesn't exist. You told me how sorry you are, the next day.


I hated September. You told me you didn't love me anymore. I let go of you. I started writing poems since the day you left me. And I guess that was bitter and sweet at the same time.


October wasn't that fun. I drunk my love away and let alcohol control my body. The next day, I found out how I told you how much I love you. And I don't blame alcohol for that.


"You need to move on, it's November already." my friends told me. I remember what my Mom said, so I forgave you for leaving me. But I wished you would never forget about me.


December came with coldness and your warmth is all I craved. I asked your friends, how you were doing, they said, you're fine without me. I used to love change, but now I hate how change overwhelm you completely.

it's not the fight that hurt
it's not the sharp words
it's the silence
the numbing silence
when you know
"this is it"
when there is no longer a fight
it's just
nothing
no feeling
no hate
but
no love

you never know
when the last time
is the last time
you think
you have time
but you don't
and even if they're sitting right across from you
you look at them and know
you will never talk to them again
that those words you last spoke
will be the last they will ever hear from you
whether you like it or not