This house made of brick and stone,
glass and wood,
now crumbles to the earth beneath me.
But this house was empty
long before it was gone.

The people inside,
the people
the people
the monsters,

They ripped open their lungs
and filled themselves with smoke.
They  ripped open their veins
and filled themselves with poison.
They grew sickly and cold
with black, sunken eyes.
They starved themselves to the bone
until that was all they were.
Feet shuffled against dark-stained hardwood floors,
yet they never touched the ground.

Ghosts.
Ghosts who couldn't sleep,
for the darkness was no longer home.
Ghosts who couldn't breathe,
for all they inhaled was smoke.
Ghosts who screamed.
Ghosts who cried.
Ghosts who never made a sound.

Holding on until fingers grew limp.
This house was empty
long before it was gone.

Do you want to talk to me?
Do you even care?
'active now', so says my screen
I know that you're there

Do you think I'm stupid?
Do you think I go too far?
You haven't seen them ever since
I pushed beyond that bar

Do you want to set me boundaries?
Do you think I speak too frank?
I wish you would just answer me
When you didn't, my heart sank

Do you think I need to stop trying?
Do you want to be left alone?
I hate to feel I've upset you
Somehow, again, I'm on my own

We once were close,
you once entrusted me with everything that burdened you,
and I've held onto it this whole time, waiting to put it in the grave with me when the time comes.
But you're all gone.
I miss you guys, the weight feels lighter and lighter nowadays as you guys come and reclaim it.
Don't go...
don't leave me here, alone to worry about myself and to deal with my own devils...

the smell of coffee and sweets lingers around the room
the sound of women and men conversing
the sound of responsibility
the sound of friendliness
the realization that everyone is scared comes quickly
as people talk about their lives it makes me realize
people are more scared then "Fine"
people go to collage to make their parents happy
but really all they want to do is live their life
instead of being trapped inside a school for 30% of their lives

I agree that learning is a huge part of life
but sitting inside a class room learning what its like outside just doesnt seem right
I believe that you should go out
you should make things happen
learn from the things that you do
not the things others do
open your eyes

Staring at you.
I think of my future.
Will you be in it,
I wonder?

I think of the negatives,
If we ended up together.
But how can I dream
Of something that is clearly impossible?

Staring at you,
I think of what you've done.
To steal my heart,
When you meant no harm.

You did many things,
Not directed to me.
But look who's falling,
Falling hard from my Love tree.

that girl you see? with the big blue eyes?
she's in the middle of a war with herself.
she was known as the girl who went in her car everyday for lunch simply to write.
you see her?
she's the girl who holds a mask in front of her face
and if you were to look behind it
you would be shocked.
that girl, that girl loves .
she L O V E S.
and if she loves you
then ****, you have got to be something special.
that girl is the one with depression and anxiety.
who has dealt with things you wouldn't even imagine.
she's that girl with the love for life
despite the fact that life has tried to turn her dark and grey.
that girl shines
that girl shines colors you've never seen before.
that girl is the one who is messy and unorganized but it's okay with her.
she's the girl with an ordinary face, but an extraordinary heart.
she's that girl that will apologize for the mess after you rip her to shreds.
that girl has a strange love for bears and the outdoors.
and has dreamt of the mountains all of her life.
she's from the small town where she was being swallowed.
and trust?
trust is not something that girl can do easily.
she has walls so strong that you wouldn't believe.
with a never ending for stargazing
because it reminds her each night that there is beauty everywhere
even if it is hidden sometimes.

yeah. that girl.

do you know what it feels like
not to belong?

the mind is aching,
searching for a place
to call home,
where you get tucked in at night
and finally get some sleep

a place
to feel free,
where you can dance in the rain
and laugh in the pale moonlight

but the thing you refuse
to believe

you reject
in the depths of your heart

is the search
will never stop.

ARE YOU ONE OF THOSE WHO SHOW-OFF, CAUSING OTHERS PAIN?  DO YOU TAKE IT TO ANOTHER LEVEL, CHOOSING TO ACT INSANE?
DO YOU STAND OUT IN THE HALLWAY, IN FRONT OF A LARGE CROWD?  YOU CHOOSE TO PICK ON THE SMALLEST GUY, BELITTLING  HIM, SPEAKING REALLY LOUD?
ARE YOU ONE OF THOSE WHO CHOOSE TO BE HEARD?  YOU SEEM TO GET EXCITEMENT, OUT OF EVERY FILTHY AND HURTING WORD.
DO YOU FIND ENJOYMENT, OUT OF MAKING PEOPLE CRY.  YOU MAKE THEM FEEL SO BAD, THEY WANT TO CURL UP AND DIE.
STOP CAUSING PEOPLE PAIN, THEY ARE HUMAN JUST LIKE YOU.  IF YOU WERE TREATED JUST LIKE THEM, WHAT WOULD BE THE FIRST THING YOU DO?
BY, AUTHOR & POET, SANDRA JUANITA NAILING