I'm afraid I cannot explain myself well
From the hole in my face
From which the words fell
So I write them all down
Every smile to every frown
For when I try to speak
I barely make a sound.

I've been thinking about you
It's what I do everyday
Yeah I've been thinking about you
But this time in a different way
I know it's been quite a long time
And Since I haven't had any signs
From you
Get out , get out of my head
And fall into my arms instead
Won't you ?

See, you got me wanting you
No I don't wanna f#%k you
I wanna make love to you
I wanna know how my body feels on yours
I wanna feel your lips on my skin
And do it till We overdose
Let me make you get that feeling
Let me be the one who make your heart racing
Let's make love

Come over here
we have some time to catch up
Don't disappear
I hate it when you make me feel like I messed up
I just wanna hold you tight
Be closer to your heart
And put aside the fights
There're so many things we should be doing
Honey I need you, I need your good loving

Be mine tonight
Be mine now and forever
Let's turn off the light
And make love to each other

I look around constantly
I slide down in my seat
I hate looking in the mirror
I hide from me
Their words scare me

I roam the hallways with my head down
I speak only when spoken to
I'm not the one people walk over to
Kayla who?
They have no clue

I sit alone at lunch
When I eat I never crunch
I sit in a hunch
It controls me
I cannot finish
I stand and walk away quickly

My skin has gone prickly
As it does every day
My hand accidentally brushes against someone familiar in the hallway
"Geez! Your hands feel like ice! Why are you always freezing?"
I mumble the excuse of a cold lunch
I stumble away

I will always be in love with him.
As jealousy takes him away,
and my words make no difference to his stubbornness,
I will always be in love with him.

So, cut me open,
and sew me shut.
For all this time,
was nothing but a bittersweet waste.

The time will go by,
and memories will be pictured of another lifetime.
As the happiness drains away,
and sadness takes my heart.

He could always be mad,
for all of our life,
over one idiotic reason,
brought on by assumptions.

All of my life,
you have been my love.
And for the rest,
you will continue to be.

I wanted you to never let me go
I wanted to have the privilege of waking up and your eyes being the first thing I saw. Remember when you would hold me after I'd been crying? I miss the fragrance of your sweater as my head fit perfectly on your shoulder. I miss the way your gentle hands rubbed against my arm, my side, my thigh.. You were always so much more open with your feelings than I was. Isn't that weird? I took those sweet little moments we had for granted, but if I had the chance to get them back, I would.

I used to compare you
to the music that I couldn't
live without.
Your words, sweeter than
any melody, could save me.
I never gave any thought
of how I could adore
someone I barely knew
so much, nor did I care.
With the slightest touch
of my body, I was yours.
How I wish it wasn't so,
for you slipped away.
I can feel the ache of
my tattered heart as
it pounds in my ribcage
reminding me of the
ache that doesn't seem
to go away.
I sought to find a drug
to erase all evidence
of you, to relieve me
from this hell.
I prayed for it all
just to have been in my
head, my imagination
going out of control.
The tears that fight
to escape are the only
physical evidence
that prove that the
past year was indeed
real and was not
a product of my
vivid imagination.
I have been ******
to live without knowing
what could have been.
Maybe nothing would
be different at all and
you still wouldn't give
a **** about me.
I realize how great the
chance is of the same
outcome, yet I can't
help but to break
inside when I see
you happy and with
someone. So, *******.
You have so much
power over me and
you don't even have
the slightest clue.

I've heard of  having the pleasure
of finding your true love. They say
nothing else matters to you once your
eyes meet. The songs say that you
would do anything to have the presence
of your soul mate with you.
The movies show two halves becoming
a whole.
Reality isn't so poetic. The movies
and songs didn't inform me of the
negative sides of love.
They didn't tell me how bad it
would continuously hurt if you
lost the one you thought you loved.
My favorite quote doesn't
relate to how ****** I feel a night
when I know he is just fine.
Or maybe I'm too young to know of
love. Whatever it is, it hurts just
the same.

Moving on isn't as easy as everyone might think.
As much as you try to, a part of you will not let go
of that little piece of hope. You might know that
it's useless and that you're wasting your time; however,
You can't help yourself. Your mind refuses to let
go of the past yet you are terrified of the future.
Maybe the one you lost has already moved on, still
emotions stay the same. No matter what you do
or what you say, deep down you know that not a
**** thing has changed. You hurt when you see
him or her happy but will not do anything about
it. Why would you?  You accept that this is how
it's going to have to be and you live with it
because that's what you know how to do.

I cannot stop writing about you. Every little thing I can remember, I've written it down.
I've written you down.
A permanent stain on these sheets.