by 100 members and 263 followers There is a certain comfort that comes in the dependability of pain, whether it be heartache, loss, emotional, psychological or physical. Though it may not be sought it will inevitably be found.
People tell me I overthink things It has never been about mountains or molehills I always see land big enough for shelter I do not need reasons This is what worries me
I am the best at sort of I think I know Then I know I know Then I see you in public and you're laughing And I can't tell if you're laughing at me Or just laughing I'm not laughing because I don't know what you're laughing about So I smile Not because I want to But because I think you want me to Hope that your giggle is the drawbridge to a conversation I've been dying to have But you walk by Barely nod your head and say hi And suddenly I don't know anymore But I think everyone else knows I wonder if you know And I sure hope not I've been trying to tell you myself So I turn back I swear in my head this was easier The words just a quick skip down the walkway away But I stand here Discussing with myself the things I know I could have done better But definitely shouldn't have done better Because the possibilities of better bring thoughts of the worst that I've never envisioned So I sit down on the pavement Each passerby shouts another reason why maybe next time won't be like this But I most certainly will be like this
It shouldn't be this hard to climb mountains To lose my breathe as I look out at the landscape I just want to see you Shout your name at the highest peak And watch the echos vibrate off my chest Hope that you shout back This is what worries me most What I need Is the courage to say exactly what I intend Believe I already own this certainty Live within the in between
You plucked the words "our little secret" From your lips And shoved them between mine With such force That I choked on them For years Until eventually I spat them out On your grave.
He lies, my brother, in the open, No sleep, no dream, no hope bright, Only fog, only chill, only spirit's sounds, O my God! Descend a warm shawl for his night!
I can't remember the point when adults started cursing around me without apologizing. I can't remember when I was allowed to get my own food. I can't remember when I stopped crawling into my parent's bed after having a bad night. I can't remember when my mom stopped chopping my food up at dinner. I can't remember when my mom stopped checking on me while I was in the bath.
I don't remember things changing, I don't remember growing up.