i tried to distinguish
all my awful feelings
from how i really felt

i tried to extinguish
the fire i spread
from the one i lit myself

ripping scar tissue
the scabs on my lips
are these just the cards i’m dealt?

am i the dealer?
do i need a healer?
or more concealer?
a realist with a fake smile
i’ve been in this dentist’s chair for a while

black skies stretch
in darkness, the clouds
dissolve into rain,
the night is lacquered
with varnish like
a wooden floor,
shiny and surreal -

it breathes of night
bird and the magnolia
light of the moon, quivers
and then is still, wraps us
in the mirrored waters of the stars.

the moon elevates
the night from darkness to
hypnotic light, bathes
the world in silver, flows
with our tears and our
softly spoken words,

transcends like lazarus
to a sky witnessed
through centuries,
loved and worn like
our favourite old clothes.

We live a world of make-believe
Everyone speaks in lies
Multiple faces worn
Conversations disguise

Snide statements made with polite words
Insinuated interactions
Everybody has an ulterior motive
Stances formulated for satisfaction

They shout and curse your name privately
Never face-to-face
Doesn't matter who is in the wrong
Dishonesty is a disgrace

I make thoughts known aloud
To whom they're relevant
If harboring feelings towards someone
Make those emotions evident

How dare you speak ill my character
An object made of my name
My story used for your entertainment
But my life is not your game

Soft tender touching
Trapped by our sweet memories
Gentle cage locked tight

We are the poor.
We have no wealth.
Don't ask about our mental health
In fact walk past us.
Don't ask why
Just do not look us in the eye
Especially if you knew us before
When we wore socks and brushed our teeth
And hadn't given up and sank beneath
The awful maelstrom in our brain
Of fear, pain and damning shame.

We are the shadow people
But I see you,
And I know that you have shadows too.