everytime a shiver goes up my spine
I can’t help but remember your touch;
the way your fingers laced together against the curve of my back
                                                            ­            while you molded your lips
                                                                     against mine, fusing my skin to yours.

everytime I see you
I see the smile that I fell in love with
and the pool of lust in your eyes


                                    that was enough to bring
                                    me to my knees
                                    before you.

hearing your name brings me back
to our midnight conversations
in the dark,
back when                                                             love was kind                  
                                          ­           and your words planted flowers in my veins

every breath
reminds me that
after everything
                                                 I was not enough
                                             to satisfy your hunger,
that the taste of your lips
was the taste of a
desire so stale
that it could
****
me


now I lay awake
crying in the dark,
wishing for your lips
against mine.
                                                         I just want to die.
just kiss me,
just
****
me...

desire,

i ache to know you,
to watch you approach me like wildfire
and render me helpless because yes—
i wanted this,
exercised my wildest imaginations
against the wishes of religion and morality
on afternoons when there was nothing to do,
drowned every bit of guilt for the thrill
of the world’s secrets i’ve never known.
i want to know how it’s like to need a body other than mine,
to have senses heightened and feelings wild:
you on my skin,
delicate touches as if reading a map,
and when you leave a phantom hand lingers
only to have me ask for just a little bit more.
a little bit more, please.
i want to know how to melt into another,
in limbo between lust and love
not being able to tell which is heaven and which is hell.
i want to know desire,
to, for once, feed what my body yearns to feel
and to no longer put out
the secret fire that burns in my chest.

if you really cared
about me
about anyone
at all

if you really care
about my well being
about anything that isn't yours

all you have to do
is read my poetry.
me;
because i have shared it with you
but it flew right past.
you;
as if it didn't matter at all

She's a beauty on stage,
A light at sea,
Forever she'll shine,
And I am me.

He's a greek god,
The perfect dream,
He'll defy all the odds,
And I am me.

She's the song of Dawn,
A gentle breeze,
A sweet summer love,
And I am me.

He's the flame behind the eyes,
His heart blissful and serene,
He's a gorgeous lie,
And I am me.

I'm the call of the wild,
Destruction and defeat,
Endlessly I'll wander
And this is me.

But i will never be
Elated
At my appearance
Undressed in the mirror
Tracing a body
Inferior compared to every other
Flawed
Unworthy of
Love

s.s

I saw you. I fell in love.
A bit of a cliche,
but such is life.

Only I didn't really fall in love
when I saw you, it was gradual.
In terms of absence, that is, one day
I suddenly noticed you were not there
(I was able to distinguish  how empty
the world was without you in it).

This arrow flew a long time,
which only means that it hit
with grater strength.

You see, this is not love on a whim.
When I see you I don't think "I fell",
rather I flap my arms, taste the fear,
and think "Why the hell I don't stop falling?".

it was a saturday afternoon
in december
when we met for
a second time,
the sun was shining,
and there had to be
some reason for that.

the universe was
doing something right
when she brought us
back together
again.

it was may when
we approached the
end of you and i,
or whatever i knew us as.

losing you
was like being forced
to shut a book
i really wanted to finish.

pieces of you
lingered throughout
my everyday life
for months,
but i did everything
i could to shut you out.

months later,
i sat across from you
at this cute cafe and
i couldn't help but
wonder what we did
to deserve each other
a second time around.

your eyes seemed brighter,
a more vibrant blue,
a deeper ocean.

a freckle by your eye
that i never seemed to
notice.

i wanted to freeze time and
live this moment forever
with you,
because for once,
everything felt aligned.

step outside to morning quiet
No a soul is sight
The world slowly starts to wake
From a long and peaceful night
Color returns to the sky
As the stars go to sleep
This is a picture is my mind I will forever keep
Peaceful morning as cars drive by
It's such a beautiful day I will not lie
As I look up towards the sky
I close my eyes and take a deep breath
How I love morning quiet