The more I think I really know,
the less I understand

The farther out to sea I drift,
the more I miss the land

The stormier the days repeat,
my soul to chase the sun

The rules I once thought hard and fast,
denounced and on the run

The more I think, the less I feel,
my spirit inexcused

The hours spent off from myself,
those times I stay confused

As days fade into sleepless nights,
the moon to haunt my dreams

Where wishes live to hope again
—if I can just believe

(1st Book Of Prayers: June, 2019)

To tell her she is oppressed,
They try assaulting her for the way she is dressed

To command being served,
They try ****** her for the way she was curved

They're the classless that spit upon her key, her name,
For not inviting them freely into her house. What a shame.

Their violation forced humanity to live early life in a tomb,
Unaffected, she carries on, as she carries the world in her womb

It was a long journey home
From the great Eastern front
My sword in its sheath
And shield on my back
Senseless death In a land not our own
Now I return as a shell of myself
The faces of dead men
Hide behind my eyelids
I trudge through unfamiliar streets
Changed by the long decade past
I find it stranger than the far land
I was now returning from
All the great temples
Have been torn down
The God I worshiped
No where to be seen
Brothels and markets
Now stand in places of worship
They tell me the temple
At Anol Mihn yet stands
So I set out for it
Up into the great hills
I take my time on the trek
Unsure of many things
That I used to hold dear,
That I trusted as absolute
The stone path is worn
Overgrown and treacherous
Yet after three days' journey
I arrived at my destination

The temple stood in disrepair
The doors stripped from it
Light shining through holes
And cracks in the high ceiling
I came and bowed to my knees
Before the imposing statue
Of my now forgotten God
Maybe for minutes
Or perhaps long hours
I sat before it
Thinking, praying
If one could call it such
Seeking the one
Who my people had forgotten
Questioning all I had done
And if it was enough
Where I could call home
Now that my home has abandoned
All I once held dear
Yet the statue before me
Sat deafeningly silent

The light shifted slowly
Imperceptibly the pure light
Became gilded rays
As the evening sun sank
Illuminating the thick dust
Hanging weighlessly in the air
I stood up as the light faded
And stepped out side
The twilight had come
And with it I journeyed
Further into the hills
Until I found a grassy place
To rest my weary body
As well as my weary soul
The stars became visible
As I sat down I turned my gaze
To the endless heavens above
I laid my pack beside me
Then laid myself down
In soft untouched grass
Gripped between my fingers
Then closed my eyes

Praying my God may come
In but a whisper
To tell me what to do
To show me the way I just go
And what to do now
That everything I know
Has fallen apart
I cried, and waiting
Spoke and prayed
Yet no answer came
Not in all the long hours of night
I laid there in the hills

Before the morning came I arose
I heard the birds in the bushes and trees
I saw the grass blow in the breeze
I felt the sun bring warmth to my cheeks
And I stood up to survey the earth
To witness if I had any worth
For a moment I stood and then I heard
A voice my own yet not my word
From deep within an answer came
Not from one I knew and not the same
As the God whom I claimed to believe
But He spoke and said He is in me
Not just in stone, temple or heart
But in all those his righteous art
Who seek the truth, peace and love
To them he comes light as a dove
And rests on them and dwells within
Freeing them from bonds of sin
That they may live and live a new
The Creator God who dwells in you