With words we defy impermanence

Jul 2021

mars

11:03 pm

maybe if I stay in this bed I'll be able to wilt like the flowers on my nightstand

my petals will fall off the edge of the blanket, smooth and graceful on the bedroom floor

maybe I'll waste away into the covers,

diving into duvets and curling my toes into the edge of the covers

i just really wanna die

and I want it to be in this bed so it can be pushed down the river like a casket

holding my temperance and my sin in the palm of my hands

as the water drags me and the pillows deep under

deep

deep

under

it's quiet, there

#please #******* #**** #me #it #hurts #too #much #in #my #chest #and #i #cant #handle #any #of #anymore

Jul 2021

mars

Untitled

i leave behind residue in beds
i am grimy and saturated from dirt
my muddy footsteps follow you into the bathroom and i smudge the mirror with my fingers, crusted and cracked from the heat

i follow the shadow of the sun and trail their streaks of death
it drips down my thighs and stains your carpets
i am vermin i am disease i am death and decay
my stench sullies the walls and my greasy hair sours your stomach
you pinch your nose as i pass by and i cannot find it in me to blame you. i would too.

i feel so gross

#idek #gross #self #deprecating

Jan 2021

Mel Little

I 'member

It took me this long to sit back and think about who you used to be.
It's been hard to pick through all of the ****, rotting away the parts of my brain
that have forgotten who we used to be.

It wasn't always this vat of putrid waste, of tossed away hopes, of the essence of failure, of distrust and hatred.

Once before, a fire burning warm, hands held tight, drowning beers and speaking over the dead.

Now the castaways of a shadow's burden, haunting the spirits of the back of our minds.

I'd forgotten what you were like before this, but I can remember now.

This poem wasn't one of a sober mind

Aug 2020

Mel Little

All is (Not) Well

Whoever said "to have loved and lost..."
was full of ****.
I would have rather never felt this way.
I would have been so much
closer to a bird than
a tree with
roots,
dug down deep in the ground, unrelenting
hold that will just not give up, let up.
Clipped wings on a songbird,
yearning to fly again
but grounded
by life.

#love #breakups #family #children

Jun 2020

Mel Little

Midnight Revelry

It's only with this ache between my thighs
I think,
"Maybe I've tried to **** away my
feelings
one too many times."
And every kiss feels like a last goodbye.
Sweat pools like old fights and old memories and old wounds and old scars and old heartbreaks;
I'm left wondering if this will heal
or break me.
You have more power than you know.
To unravel me in more ways than
quivering beneath you with my
hands in your hair and your name
on repeat tumbling from my mouth
like a prayer,
or a curse.
Is it a prayer or a curse?
******* away the pain, or allowing someone to come back in and break
every wall back down again...
Pull me back to you again and let me know if I am what you want
or if this is just insulation for
another cold winter alone.

#*** #relationship #feelings #confusion #thoughts #long #freeform

Apr 2020

Mel Little

Ghosting

Phantoms and specters have nothing on you.
Harry Houdini your way right through my defenses,
and I'll put my hand on every mistake I've made and light them up
like I'm Vanna White.
But maybe,
I'm over being the girl sawed in half
for everyone else's amusement.
You can't just take a heart out of your hat after making it
disappear.
And the empty halls of my heart can only echo with the footsteps of the of the past for so long
Before we exercise them with
100 proof
and
a good night's sleep.
I'll point the blanchette at "goodbye" and burn a cigarette like it's sage.
No more ghosts.

#relationships #love #metaphors