.
Love out of touch, we could not bare
Alone, with loosed arms overreaching
And love sparkled dancing,
On the breaking rim of a star,
Innocent and new under the constellations
Of the pinned gods' eyes.

We told ourselves the story of ourselves,
Each one, a penned, perfect fable,
Each one a journey into the dark,
Under the faint and rising milky ways,
Where even shadows, poor,
Are always, almost, lost.

Out of conception, and pining dream
And the myths we most want to make,
Out of dream, would we soon awaken?

This then is hope, a stroke, as we dressed,
Children spinning yarns below the stars,
Is the game, the game of let's pretend.

We would not bare, love out of touch.

I guess you were showing me I have choices
To manipulate those inner voices
The liars in me that deceived
Their fictions I had hitherto believed
Those voices took a while to surmount
Of the tortured days I lost my count
Repeating threats and mocking me
They taunted me most horribly
But sometimes they soothed my head with music
Imploring me to wisely use it
Giving me words and rhymes and ideas
Quelling all my awful fears
Knowing that they can be seduced
My voices I cleverly reduced
To my handy, willing apprentices
Even though I’m still cognis mentis
The obstacle remover gave me a chance
To improve my life and to enhance
My experience of the world as a whole
I’m so glad she touched my soul

Black smoke on the mountain
bends over the moon like flies
around rines all fed up
with the night, like a bloated
face floating by in the river
sleeping through
death's long montage,
that dark mistress sipping
gin on a balcony with no wind,
her curtains still as a blanket
placed over the drowned.

in past lives we danced
to beats created with our feet.
we stepped carefully over Her back.
we pranced, leaped. we slept embraced
by the breath of the trees.
we leaned in, desired more.
the heat burning right underneath.

this love is one to delicate to define.
words miss its entirety.
this love tastes, feels, refines all.
in perpetual movement.
circling, shifting coast to coast,
paddling through the waves.
we grow weary searching for
strokes that do not burn.
they all work the muscle.
exercise the beat.
tune her. its a skill none can compete.

sitting here, remembering how it feels.
the feverish chills, the trace along my back.
dig down deep, bury into the death.
mine the sands of time, uncover the healers
tongue. release. fear of dying.
release fear. be free. be me. be me. be me.

cuddle the moon, kiss the moonlight, hug the night.

my depression has become so apparent that it goes unnoticed
that thought terrifies me

ive become so good at acting like i understand how my mind works
maybe so good that it believes me
ive gotten so bad with words
that i cant recognize my own writing

its getting harder and harder to scribble out just one letter
its been months
im not doing any better