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Cassandra Leigh Aug 2014
I can't get you out of my head
There's a stranger asleep in my bed
Visiting my old town I've never felt so alone
I lost the place I once called home

I used to be optimistic and kind
searching for happiness I thought I would find
I've lost my will to try, to hope
My heart is breaking in every scope

Coffee and cigarettes

I can't keep living this way
There's nothing left to make me stay
I can't remember how to breathe
I hate goodbye's, but love to leave
There is You,
my son, and You.

The You that died;
the You which we see
on rising
in photographs on walls
or framed or there
by the window;
the You staring back at us
from our mobile phones.

There's the You I saw
brought into the world
pink and small
and wanting to feed
and latch on
for the liquid food.

The You growing up
from baby to toddler,
mischievous, but loving.

The You growing
into manhood,
stoic and quiet
and brave, going about
in your own way
to climb many a mountain
of adversity
and reaching the top
and over it
and quietly smile
and unseen
in a corner, sit.

There is the You
of quiet talk,
of gentle words;
You of soft
under the breath swearing,
if the referee
had got it wrong.

There was the You who
became ill so suddenly;
the You who was let down
by medical professionals;
the You we loved,
the You whose heart
flat-lined and died.

There is You,
my son, and You.

The You who was taken
and the You whom we feel
around us still,
touching;
walking by
out of the corner
of our red rimmed eye.
A FATHER TALKS TO HIS DEAD SON.
Cassandra Leigh Jul 2014
I wish I could reach out and touch you
To hear you say you love me, and believe that it is true
I wish I could fall asleep in your arms
With security knowing i was safe from harm
I wish i could still remember your scent
Instead of laying awake wondering where you went
Cassandra Leigh Jul 2014
Autumn crept up on us slowly
We felt the lingering touch of Summer start to fade
And the heat that had seeped into our skin
Was beginning to dissipate

I watched the leaves go from brilliant green
To deep oranges and reds
They were beautiful despite the fact that they were dying
It broke my heart to watch the trees betray them

When the last leaf fell, you were already gone

Summer has returned to me, this time I am aware that it is fleeting.
Cassandra Leigh Jul 2014
I am losing my way
I never never thought I would stray
from my little written path
only to face the aftermath

So many decisions to make
Infinite paths to take
I need out of this place
Losing myself to save face

I need help
but I have forgotten how to ask
Cassandra Leigh Jun 2014
I grew up in a dark cold place
with memories I can't erase
I never had a place of my own
I lacked the heart, a house no home

The warmth I saw in your eyes
Staying up waiting for the sun to rise
The way your hands felt grasping mine
Time stopped ticking while the stars aligned

**In you I found my home
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