Hallmark greeting cards
Family barbecues
A brand new tie
A few "I love you's"

The one day a year you tell Dad how much he means to you

**I'm spending it in a cemetery this year

I am seen more frequently as an object than a human being
People act as if there is no soul inside the mannequin they're seeing

I am referred to by things like "****, beautiful, and Honey"
When I answer with offence they say they're only being funny

I walk away feeling degraded with an overwhelming sense of shame
Strangers make me hate myself and never learn my name

To hear a ****** cat call sends a shiver down my spine
to be objectified is understated, and society says it's fine

It makes me sick when I am treated like a piece of meat
My one solution is to cut two eye holes in an old bed sheet

When strangers say I'm pretty I no longer feel an ere of confidence and pride
I feel a need to run away, be alone, and hide

The first time I smoked a cigarette
I felt the exhilaration of putting it to my lips
Sharp inhalation followed by sputtering coughs
Barely managing to pull in an even breath
Followed by a head rush
My stomach tied in knots and I questioned whether or not I would be sick
But I persisted, and choked it down

Eventually I got used to the taste
I grew to rely on the way my world would stop
My head swam, and time slowed down
My anxious mind was eased, if only for a moment
I craved it more than oxygen

I knew that it would be the death of me
Yet I couldn't walk away
I spent money I didn't have, just to get one more taste
I lost who I was to what I thought I needed

Such was loving you

Time went on and it strangled me
I felt like I could hardly breath

There is no nicotine patch for loneliness
And the nights of missing you still make me shake
But loving you was smoking

**So I quit