Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
 
Caitlin Dec 2014
Do
     you realize
            the effect you
                    still have on me?
To him
Caitlin May 2014
I am stubborn.
I will admit that.
I hate being stubborn.

You know why?

Because once I realize that being stubborn has gotten me nowhere-
I break down....

I am have pride-
Not much
But it's there.

And when I lose that pride.
Either someone breaks it
Or I realize that I was wrong.

And I cry.
I cry.......
About that horn rip(s), about LeRon, about that GOOD, about me.. I cry.
Caitlin Jun 2015
I've been talking to you for more than  30 min.
You still don't get it.
I'm bad with words..
Especially about myself.
Caitlin Apr 2016
Everyday, for a long time.
Good mornings and goodnights.
Time zones and distance.
Terrible connection and difficult schedules.

Haven't talked in two days,
Feel like I lost a part of my soul.
Especially when I need you the most.
I need you...

*CGMW
Caitlin Feb 2015
Today is terrible.
Today was terrible.
Today was one of those days where nothing went right.
One of those days where I come home and think about cutting..
One of those days when I think of everything I've lost.
Today was terrible.
Caitlin Jul 2015
I am terrible.
No question about it.
Caitlin Nov 2014
Happy Thanksgiving,
To those who read my poems
And to you, who I've never met face to face.
You simply read and inspire me.
Here on hellopoetry,
I give thanks.
Caitlin Apr 2014
You finally set me free
I didn't realize it at first
But you did

Was this your intention?
Did you plan this out?
Waiting til I was ready?
Then just disappearing?

Could I have at least known  
Was it a surprise?

How was I supposed to know??

How can you just up and leave us?
Leave me?

This was supposed to be me thanking you
For leaving
But know I'm not so sure...

It's it for the best?
For you maybe..
For the the rest of us? Perhaps
For me??

Only time will tell...
Goodbye, L..
Not for forever I hope.
Caitlin Mar 2017
I feel like I continuously go through a cycle where I finally meet someone who makes me happy and then I begin doubting everything and insecurities creep into my head..
I can't breath and every little thing bugs me. I retreat back with in my head and it freaks people out.
If only, I could tell my heart to remain guarded all the time. I don't want to be like this, but every time, I get hurt. And I don't even have a reason to be. Its all in my head..
Caitlin Jan 2014
The end is always tougher than anyone thinks
It often takes longer than you think to get over

And the memories are always there
At night,  in those moments before sleep
In every rehearsal, when you can't look to your left and ask for help.
When you realize your on your own
When you feel yourself falling apart

That is the ending of one story
And the beginning of another
Caitlin Feb 2015
The last text I sent you was on Friday.
You still haven't replied.
"I'm head over heels falling for you. That's the problem. And it hurts me both mentally and emotionally."
That was the text.
And when I saw you today,
I wanted to curl up in to a ball and die.
I'm avoiding you,
And it hurts.
Caitlin Apr 2015
She wore it proud around her neck.
Usually hidden by her hair,
She was the only one who really knew it was there.
It reminded her, that she had love.
It warned her, that she had love.
But she let go.
And so she wears her locket,
The chain like a noose around her neck.
Always there.
Love locket lostlove lettinggo
Caitlin Jul 2015
When you look at her,
I wish you were looking at me....
Caitlin Aug 2014
A musician lives in solitude.
His only friends- the notes on the page and the sound of the symphony.

His best friend is his instrument.
Which he treats with the utmost care.
The band room is his first home, 
The only natural habitat.

Music is his escape,
He falls into the notes on the page, 
Letting their simplicity and complexity, swallow him.

He becomes a different person when he plays.
Silent, yet making even the most serious person, cry.

He needs not to use words, his music is enough.
When he sits with an ensemble, they do not know him,

Yet you can see him, feeling each persons aura, and melding together with them, 
All to create music. 

Music is the only thing more powerful than words,
A musician knows this. 
This is why he remains silent.
No words are needed.

He knows that each and every soul will, no matter be impacted. 
Every adult and child- will be affected when he picks his horn up. 

A musician lives in solitude.
His only friend is music.
Caitlin Jan 2015
This is the start of a brand new year,
The start of new beginning,
Of new friendships,
Of new trips and parties,
Of new accomplishments,
Of new lessons to be learned and taught.

Happy 2015 everyone!
Hope it's an awesome year!!
Caitlin Apr 2015
The only way to get over you,
Is to have you out of my life forever.
But I don't want to forget you...
Caitlin Dec 2014
Such as in The Phantom Of The Opera,
I have been visited by an Angel of Music...

Only I wish that He won't come back..

To Him,
My Angel of Music,
You really truly are a Phantom..
How I wish You weren't.
Caitlin Jan 2015
There are times, like now where I think to myself, why can't I feel like this all the time.
I'm with friends who actually care, but I only see them once a week on Sunday...
I'm so lost in this world full of souls who are just like me.
I want to be noticed.
I want to be loved.
**Can't anyone see that?
Caitlin Jul 2015
The sound that reaches my ears,
It's blissful, almost heavenly.
I turn, trying to find it's source.
Only to see nothing.
Just hear the most beautiful music.

The sound seems to drown my thoughts
Lift me from the hellish state of earth
And bring me to my own imagination
A dream
Finally coming true
A rose
Losing its first petal
The sound
Like nothing I've ever heard.

Is it voice?
Or a violin, maybe a soft trumpet?
I can not tell.
But how I long to know what causes such a sweet melody,
The line moving so delicately within my ears,
It's chords and vibrations,
Breathing life into my lungs again

When the sun goes down
And my head hits my pillow,
This is the song that will be playing
A song that is so pretty
It merely counts as a song
So heavenly
You would think an angel was singing
And everything will end up fine
With this music playing

My dreams were pleasant,
More so than they've been in a long while
This song, oh so sweet, lulled me to a sleep,
So deep, and so beautiful,
I never wanted to wake and face the gruesome day.
Although, I did indeed wake,
My day began much brighter,
As the refrains of the song still in the corners of my mind.

And the song followed me throughout the day
In the form of a bright smile and kind words
A song that became a reason to live
It was great working with this writer- hope you all enjoy!
Caitlin Apr 2014
He tips his hat toward her
And she dances around him

Not knowing who will speak first
He doesn't say anything,
Simply follows her around with his eyes

Does she know how he feels?
The raw passion in his eyes is evident
Yet she avoids looking in them.

She notices the tall dark stranger
Not knowing how their lives would be impacted.
If they would be- she knew not.

Then, accidentally she bumps in to him
His hands reach out
And keep her from falling...

She glances up and takes a sharp breath in
His eyes searched her soul.
Looking deep within her.

He felt warmth and electricity shoot up his arms
As he held her closer still
He knew it would all fit together.

He looked toward her lips
And felt her notice that he did
He lowered his mouth down on hers...

*She woke up with a start
   Who was that stranger?
   Was it fictional or real?
   She might never know
Not what I normally write but I thought I'd try something new... tell me what you think please!!
Caitlin Jan 2015
One the darkest red,
    Like blood.
One the purest white,
     Like snow.
One the lightest pink,
    Like her soul..

Can these three live side by side?
Or will the pure white one be
tainted by the blood red one?

Who know?
This came to me as I looked at  my profile picture.. hope you like it!
Caitlin Mar 2015
I am wearing a floor length white gown.
It seems to be made of the finest materials.
I am walking, down a path which has no end.
I see people around me and I realize that this pathway is my life,
I intersect paths with many and vice versa.
Although I look down and notice that the bottom of my dress is covered in dirt.
Oh well I thought, It happens.
I came across certain people in my life, They threw red mud and dirt at me, staining my beautiful white dress.
These people were supposed to be friends, mentors, people I could count on.
I guess not, I tried to wipe the mud and dirt off, but it just made it worse.
Oh well, It happens.
I continued on in my journey,
And I met the most wonderful person,
He took my dirt and my mud away, and made me feel whole again,
I twirled in my now restored dress, and felt beautiful.
He and I walked together for sometime, but for some reason,
I walked ahead of him, I still knew he was there, however.
And as I walked on in my adventure,
I met more people and these people didn't throw mud at me,
they instead gave me flowers and words of wisdom.
Yet somewhere on my path, I made a wrong turn a wrong choice.
I began to collect dust and dirt, had people throw mud at me,
I even began to think that I wasn't worthy of this white dress and began to purposely run into people who would throw mud and dirt at me.
By the end of what seemed like my road, I collapsed,
from pain, guilt, worry, and tones of other things.
I glanced down at my white dress, the one that was fit for a bride, was now covered in dirt and mud, so much that you couldn't even tell that it was white originally.
He walked toward me and I cowered,
"No" I said. "Don't come closer, You shouldn't see me like this, I'm not worthy."
He laughed, "Caitlin, I've been with you since the beginning, I've seen you at your best and at your worst. Don't fear what I think of you. To me you will always be beautiful. No matter what."
I still wasn't sure, yet as he reached he hand out to me, I grasped it and he pulled me to my feet.
He said "You accepted my help, that's the first step."
And at his words, my white dress was restored yet again.
"But it will just get ***** again" I stated, somewhat confused.
He shook his head, "Now you need to believe in me. That's step two."
"Believe? What you mean?"
"Believe. That's all you have to do. Open your heart and let me in."
I closed my eyes, Opened my heart, and smiled.
"I believe."
We started our journey after that.
He always walked beside me, I never ran ahead.
The best part?
No dirt caught on my dress, no mud either.
Caitlin Jun 2014
I didn't hate you.
I didn't agree with you on everything, however.
I wish that I had spoken up.
I hope that you are living a good life.
I wish that we were closer friends instead of enemies.
I wish you gave me a second chance.
I wish that you encouraged me more.
I wish that you at least told me something more than the one worded answers to all of my questions.
I wish……
Caitlin Dec 2015
I feel awesome.
I love the holidays,
It brings such joy and happiness to all.
I wish you all the very best holidays and new year!
Caitlin Jun 2020
Do you ever have something in your grasp,
Something good
Something that makes you happy
Then the world cracks apart and you feel like you’ve lost it??
Maybe forever?
I hope not.
Caitlin Apr 2015
Sadly I still think of you.
After everything you've said to me,
I still think about you.
Why?
Caitlin May 2014
The difference
three little words
can make.

What are yours?
I kinda wanted to see if you could get what I mean. Three words that what I'm asking- It can be a sentence or three individual words...
Thanks
Caitlin Feb 2015
It started with me crying,
And me running to someone who would listen.
Then ended with you telling me that you like me...
Caitlin Aug 2014
I hate to say it....
But
I'm cutting ties with you,
My muse.
Caitlin Jul 2016
Things I have learned since I've been away from Poetry.

1. Sometime it's ok, if you don't write for a while. It still flows in your blood.
2. You see words everywhere, people's smiles, laughter and tears.
3. Not all poems are fueled by drama or fear or confusion.
4. Poetry is beautiful, even more so than it was before.
5. Even though I am not that good of a writer, I write, and will continue to, until the end of time.
Caitlin Sep 2014
I am so tired
Of arguing
Of falling

Of life.
Caitlin Feb 2015
Tall,
Funny,
Fat,
Serious,
Moody,
Loner,
Popular,
Shy,
Afraid,
Vi­rgin,
Player,
Geek,
Stoner,

Among others..
We give out titles like candy,
You are this,
She is,
He is..
Why? Why does our world revolve around titles?
Why cant I just be Caitlin Alexandra Moody?
Not Fat, Tall, ******, Spoiled, Perfect, Angel, Geek, Loner, Shy, Moody.
I am me.
That's it.
Caitlin Jan 2015
Today I was called spoiled.
Today I almost cried.
Today I reached my limit.
Today I fell.
Today I learned that I can't expect anything from you.
Today I lived.

Today I was ridiculed.
Today I was pushed.
Today I was disappointed.
Today I was tired of putting up with your crap.
Today I lived.

Today I was done with life.
Today I was discouraged.
Today I was alone.
Today I learned.
Today I lived.

Today I loved.
Today I learned.
Today I lived
Caitlin May 2014
I'm tired of looking back.
At all my yesterdays
All 15 years worth..

I'm tired of saying why can't I do that?
Why can't I step up? What's holding me back?

Why do I look for yesterday?

I'm tired of wanting change
Instead of chasing after it
Going for what I want

I'm tired of looking at the door
Waing for you to
Pop back into my life

So
Guess
What?

I'm looking forward for today.
No more yesterdays.
No more past, even though I'll always have it- I'm learning from it, not waiting for it.

Today.
I know I kinda referenced the Lion  King, and I didn't mean to. Lol... But yeah......
Caitlin Jan 2015
It's actually not hard to do.
You grin at the way her hands are shaking to get tot a pen and paper.
You think is adorable how she only uses one certain type of pen, and only pen- no pencil for this writer.
You hate to see her at a loss for words because she always has words, even when everything else fails her.
You want to be the only one to leave her speechless
and the only one to make her write like mad.
You stick around long enough and you notice that she writes in the same pen that she uses to write poem, she uses to write on herself, different word and phrases she wants to remember.
You love the way her eyes light up when she comes up with the perfect ten words to describe something.
You think that she is the one who dreams and writes all that she remembers.

A warning for you, if you do fall in love wit a poet,
Remember that she is human, just like you.
Remember that she is writing for a reason.
Remember that if you break her heart,
You could, possibly break the very part of her that writes and it could Be days or weeks or months before she starts to write again.
And she will write only love and heartbreak poems,
Not the ones you remember about the trees or clouds or how your eyes get a gleam in them when you smile.

Just don't break her heart.
Caitlin Dec 2014
There are many gifts wrapped
underneath my tree this year.
Many of them, are either for me,
Or from me.
But this Christmas, and every other Christmas,
Is more than just gifts and tress
Stockings and lights.
It's more than just Christmas lists
And Christmas dinner.

It's family and joy,
Hugs and kisses,
Love and kindness,
It's the birth of a savior,
The  light of the world.

Merry Christmas!!
I hope it's a good one!
Caitlin Jun 2015
To hear is a great ability.
Some people can't.
Then there are people who can hear when you aren't talking.
Those are the people who care.
How I wish that person was here today.
I really needed you.
Caitlin Feb 2015
Yesterday I told you that I liked you.
Yesterday you told me that you liked me back.
You made me happy.
I am happy.

Thank you for that.
Love is a powerful thing....
Caitlin Jan 2015
Can I get any slack?
I do so much for this family,
And that's what I get in return??
No, I'm not like my brother.
But you still treat us sorta kinda the same?
I know what I need to do.
I know what my job is.
Do you even know half of the crap I deal with on a daily basis?
I don't need it at home too.
I can't even get a break???
You asked me if I was alright?
Do you even care?
What if I wasn't?
What then??
Do you even know me anymore???
Caitlin May 2015
I'm gonna break down.
I've held this in too long.
And of all the places in gonna melt down..
It has to be at work.
Wonderful.
Caitlin Jan 2015
I love you!!
Caitlin Feb 2015
I love you all, here on Hellopoetry.
Without you. I wouldn't know where I'd be, or even who I'd be.
Thank you.
Caitlin Apr 2014
Even when I'm not sure if you can hear me, I know my words will get through
When you're going 100 miles a hour- my idea is recognized
If I'm close to tears and no words can be said, you simply hold me close
I know that nothing I say will be told to someone else
You are my train

I think- that sometimes..
I am yours.
Your train.

We yell
We cry
We write
We relate.
*Trains
This is a reference to footloose.. You should see it.
Caitlin Mar 2015
I still want us to be friends,
I want to have that connection,
We've come so far.
But you don't ******* care anymore..
I'm sorry.
Caitlin Jun 2014
Tell me something

Besides the lies

You always feed me.
Caitlin Aug 2016
I feel as if this is a tug of war,
Back and forth
Forth and back.
Some giving it all, some letting others do all the work.
Sometimes I want to give up
Stop pursuing this goal.
Then you go and confuse me.
It leaves me wondering if this is worth it.
What should I do??
Caitlin Mar 2015
Will anyone ever understand me?
Caitlin Apr 2014
What is the unknown?
How do we know that which we don't know?
A mystery maybe..
A journey for each of us to take..
A life time of asking questions..
Maybe....
Caitlin Feb 2014
You
Can
Never
See
The
Real
Me

If
You
Do
It
Will
*******
Me

You
Can't
Know
What
I
Feel

You
Can't
Know
What
I
Think

You
Can't
Know

You
Can't
No specific *you* in this, *you* is anyone
Caitlin Dec 2014
Be my saving grace?
Next page