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Bryan Amerila Jun 2016
This is my world, this is my world.
All men and women wear eyeglasses.

All truths we seek on dusted glasses
Of windowpanes behind windowpanes.

Ah, we see clearer, said the top, we see better
If things are viewed on top, by top, the top

Refuses to see, they refuse the refuse, further
Screen them, screen that. They will not see

Them, believe us, trust our hindsight, we have foresight
Bring us the microscope, that magnifying glass.

This is our world, you’re living in our world.
Wear those eyeglasses, we customized them for you.
Bryan Amerila Apr 2016
a child tells

i see a ball
invisible threads, it was made of
light as gossamer connecting us
playmates of different worlds
unknown, unseen

i see three birds
trying the shoe
who owns it, asked the wolf
two were shot, one flew
songs and tears tied to its feet

i see a veil
by its slitting
laugh, commanded the king clothed in gold but none
huddled masses wept
prayers sealed their lips

i see a red cloak
deep red, fell on the ground
slowly, turning into ants, disrupted
displaced, dispersing
not so far away, a mound was forming

i see an old tree
gnarled, with long braid of hair
of ashen faces and fainting voices
in garbled words, this land we own
before its dying breath, whispering

tell, my child
Published on Philippines Graphic, October 26, 2015
Bryan Amerila Apr 2016
Hide us in that box,
That rectangle of a box,
Our little box of threads and needles.
Stitch us on the seams, our dreams.
Sink us under your sole, our voices.
Hide us in that barrels, our troubles.
Distill our spirits, wash us pure.
Age us,
Open our souls after the war.
04.20.2016
Bryan Amerila Jun 2016
are memories
of fading hurried love notes
old photographs, slow songs

and three full stops...
Bryan Amerila Apr 2016
Lives intertwined.
You are the flower that blooms,
amidst turmoil.
On azure skies of my morning,
you’re there.
Dawn welcomes you with fervor.

Intertwined lives.
You are a flower that blooms,
amongst great men, great lives.
Though sundown paints blood, spews out false promises
You’re there, unmoving.
Crepuscular creatures sing till dusk bows its head.

Death’s kiss is nothing.
Softness of your lips, fountain of youth
kissed by Death.
Counts,  3, 2, 1. Then you’re gone.
“No, I’m here,” say you.
“Hear me, I’m here”. Twice.

A child,  I see in that diaphanous veil.
Old age is nothing. We mastered it,
time and again, time.
Zephyr carries your smile, laughter, whispers
to me, on my rocking chair, cradling,
Truth lifting me,
“Yes, I heard you”.
“That’s why, I’m here”.
“I heard you”. Thrice.

Lives intertwined, intertwined lives.
Nothing is forever, but our love
Like that flower:
Eternal, undying.
April 11, 2016
Bryan Amerila Jul 2016
written for a friend*

What’s in a name?
Is it the sweetness
under my tongue’s
cave? Or the name-
less thrill I feel
every time I roll
your name inside
my pocket and
you not knowing it?
Bryan Amerila Apr 2017
A name and a name will soon be forgotten.
Change a name change a name, Baden-Baden
But what's behind remains forever begotten.
Bryan Amerila May 2016
For the lady who sees it all, Mahkhon

Scribes gather –
Words tucked between
Laughter and Memories, hidden
For them to find and tell.

A river fairy she is,
Papyrus reeds, her wings.
A naiad, watching bubbles,
Reading hearts, --
Precious bubbles, a keeper
In four years.

Seven Years past,
The fairy is a Woman, Who
Bears keen eyes with ken.

Imagine her delight,
For each bubble pricked,
Truth, love, stories unwrapped.

A seer uncurls the scrolls,
An oracle whispered to gentle Wind:
A dandelion she is
Made for the skies,
Lift her up ---
But kindly change her not.
poem poetry summer
Bryan Amerila Apr 2016
How old I was I can’t remember well.
But too old for a vivid remembrance, of pain
for me, and death for you.

Whiteness of fur spoke of purity,
blood painted whiteness, Red--
rusted beatings you bore,

Whimpering, wriggling your body
tied on that rope, hanging on that “santol” tree,
bearing witness, wounding your skin,

In agony, you were wrestling
with metals, they folded, they bowed,
clasped to your neck, the rust.

Hide! said my Mama.
Don’t look, she added.
Hide I did and look I did.

In-between those bamboo slats, I saw:
the whiteness of your body;
blood painted the whiteness, red, like the rust.

Sweating.
On that bamboo stick I held, I gripped my hands
also brown, like the lining on your neck.

Tears unshed, sealing my lips.
Like boiling water, trapped on that ***, that these brutes had prepared
scalding your skin,

Dogs fed on dog, these brutes were
singing in worship of “Tanduay”, a bottle,  their god.
Drumbeats wanting, but laugh,  and laugh they did.

Like a good master they called you, Azucena, an innocent girl.
Voice lilting, luring you to your death,
Azucena... not the provincial bus, that will transport you to your grave,

Azucena... not the white “liliums” that abound the heaven, or your grave.
But a name, a noun, to feed their protruding stomachs, stinking,
to wash their rotten soul, perhaps.

Azucena,
Asocena,
But that’s not your name.
Note: Asocena is a dish primarily consisting of dog meat. Also, "Necklace" was the name of my dog.
Bryan Amerila Jun 2016
The sun is tired.
It sleeps while the sky bleeds.
Night creeps slowly
With the moon in tow
The old night
Stanches the sky's wounds
With patches of twinkling little stars.
Bryan Amerila Apr 2016
here’s your cup
you took a sip
then left
i'll just take a walk, you said
silence
i could see your back
garbed on old blue clothes you were
little by little
by distance, you went
faraway
fading
pale
blue turned white
into dust
lifted
by the wind
up, up, up
slowly, eaten by the  sun
blinded by light
i looked down
took your cup
sipped
to your immortality
i partook
Bryan Amerila May 2016
Bamboos
Bend lithely
To strong winds

Sparrow's eyes
Speak of admiration

You may fall
But this, I tell you:

Broken reeds
Play great music

Hark Pan's story
Of his syrinx,
Beloved.
Bryan Amerila Apr 2016
Purple hibiscus,
gathered from depth of the woods.

Serpents, in the wild,
captured for haute couture.

Coffee beans,
defecated by civets.

Foie gras, caviar, champagne flutes,
Evian, sipping her piña colada,
getting her tan.

Serpent’s skin,
rubbing elbows,
with the alta sociedad,
plucking her eyebrows,
rouging her lips.

" And  lead  us  not  into  temptation,
but  deliver  us  from  evil. "
April 15, 2016
Bryan Amerila Jun 2016
As the moth flexes its wings,
the flower blooms,
the ants pause,
innocence,
born.

Born
in June,
the rain sings
for birds on our roof,
Laughter jumps from wall to wall.
for Carl, my nephew, on his 1st birthday
Bryan Amerila Jul 2016
The pavement glistens
While the taho vendor meanders
Answering the sun.
Four sparrows (or finches?)
Jump instead of fly, nonchalant,
While I look at them.
A bottle of water
Plants its feet at the intersecting
streets leading to white flowers:
Garlic flowers
Prodding me, Eat your breakfast.
Bryan Amerila Jul 2016
written for a friend*

I let the butterflies out
From my chest
Willingly

And see them burn themselves
One by one
Just to write your name.
Bryan Amerila Aug 2016
The car ran over the cat.
I am on the right side of the ride.
A woman shouts, <Stop!
I’m just right there.>
Pointing.
<Dangerous to alight here,
In the middle of the street.>
the driver said.

The car ran over the cat.
I am on the right side of the ride.
<Drop me in front of Citibank>
I said.
A taho vendor is serving a lady.
<How much?> I asked.
Twenty-five pesos.
<Give me one.>

The car ran over the cat.
I am on the right side of the ride.
In my mind:
<The city could be cruel to cats.
So you better know which
Is right.>
Bryan Amerila Jul 2016
I walked my usual path.
Today's an unusual time:

I saw the verdant greens of
Yesterday, yellowing in

Silence today.
Bryan Amerila May 2016
Sauntering along A. Avenue,
Two groups of people I see:
Clowns, frolicking with their masks
And dead souls float unfree,--

Soaking in my mirror’s depth,
In Charon’s boat, I sat
Seeking answers, these coins to spare --
To which group will I be at?
poem poetry
Bryan Amerila Apr 2016
War is not a game
to chessmen
pawned to death
but to the hands
that move them.
04.20.2016
Bryan Amerila Apr 2016
The circle of life:
Rays of the sun
burnt the santol leaves that were
Dried, red, brown, in a mound
Acrid, pungent.
Jumping crustaceans play with
Sige-sige, puyo, fishes;
Screeching of kikik, on the background
That winged insect, luminous wings before
Trapped that kitten on Alaska can, 370 mL
I see the abandoned casing with a hacked back:
Red, brown, dried, clasping
the bark of that old mahogany tree,
Or santol, leaves
A mark on that childhood memory:

Mother screams
“Go home!”
Arms akimbo
You boil that tower of beer crowns and eat you will!, later
Sweats, sweltering sky
She’s towering.
***'s rim, circled, I opened.
Ah, the circle of life!
April 08, 2016
Bryan Amerila May 2016
an imago:

the butterfly
sips silky nectar,
looks for gold.

the pupa
hangs, holy chrysalis
hides the doll.

the caterpillar
nips springtime's bud,
shears hairy cat.
poem poetry
Bryan Amerila Jun 2016
I didn't know you have asked mother
when will my return be
I just heard it whispered by the cold wind
this morning when
I opened the door
I see the plants were wilting
I could have come if you've told me earlier
I could have let myself slip from the typing of these keys
for I know you'll be there in your favorite spot, sitting on that flat of an upturned stone, not moving, not waving,
just seeing me get on the bus
I will visit you stealthily like you did when you hand me that 5-peso coin and telling me not to show it to my siblings, my cousins, with that
smiling smile, hiding your eyes, hiding me from their eyes.
I can tell that I'm not your favorite. You don't play favorites, you said
I believed you.

I will visit you I promised the cold wind
But it told me that you already hid yourself
Sleeping below that flat of an upturned stone
I opened the door the cold wind was still there
I watered the plants they were wilting still
I, moving, waving but you already got on the bus
I saw the 5-peso coin in my palm earlier, now it was gone
I told my siblings, my cousins, about it, but they didn't believe me
Just a figment of the mind, they said, they smiled the smiling smile
I hid in your eyes while you in mine
I wanted to tell the cold wind:
The game had ended years ago
But you're still hiding, sleeping below
The upturned stone.
Bryan Amerila Jun 2016
The morning is a white lily.
Five hands raised to the sky
Waiting for the rain's kiss.

Daffodil the color of the falling
Of talisay fruit from its mother
Tree kissing the pavement.

Raindrops kiss the pavement,
Circular ripples on a little pool,
Lilies blossoming in your eyes.
Bryan Amerila May 2016
Every morning
I face you
"Come inside"
No rain
No flower scent
No sun
No laughter

Just emptiness
Dry
Mechanical
Grey
Thinkingthinkingthinkingthinking

"­Goodbye"
I'd say
In the afternoon
Bryan Amerila Apr 2016
A crow ponders hard,
dreams of beautiful plumage,
Plucks parrot’s feathers.
poem poetry haiku
Bryan Amerila Jun 2016
This is my world, this is my world.
All men and women wear eyeglasses.

All truths we are tasked to seek on dusted glasses
Of windowpanes behind the windowpanes.

Ah, we see clearer, said the top, we see better
If things are viewed on top, by top, the top

Refuses to see, they refuse the refuse.
Screen them, screen that. They will not see

Them, believe us, trust our hindsight, we have foresight
Bring us the microscope, that magnifying glass.

This is our world, you’re living in our world.
Wear that eyeglasses, we customized them for you.
Bryan Amerila Jun 2016
I look into your eyes
Through my eyes.
I know they are yours
Not because I saw them with mine
But because you see yours in mine.

Your eyes are my eyes.
Same as mine are yours, yours mine.
Bryan Amerila May 2016
Ending's fated even
for the roughest of the stones
going against
the raging river.

No other recourse --
but to go with the flow.

Has the lone leaf
a mind of its own?

Or, the wind,
its own whisper?
poem poetry fate
Bryan Amerila Jun 2016
I looked for the stars
And was given the sun.

I looked for the stars
And was given the moon.

I asked the tree on my garden
Why the star lights are so elusive
This time of year.

Or was I just blinded by the sun’s glares
Or was I just lured by moon’s sweet talking

Immersed to sun’s grandness
Drunken to moon’s wine

Come here, said the fireflies,
Partake on our humble light.
Bryan Amerila Jun 2016
Little people thrive in the dark, said the old man.
And so I told my cousin: “Turn the lights on.”
A stream of light washed us.
“There was no difference,” I told him.
We are still little people, living little lives.
And so I told him: “Put the lights off.”
“There was no difference."
Eagerly he obliged.
I closed my eyes. And so was he.

Darkness grows what the light cannot, added the old man.
I felt my hands lengthened and so my legs.
“Cousin, I’m growing, I’m growing,” I shouted,
Rousing my cousin to no avail for he’s on deep sleep.

The last thing I saw was the moonlight seeping in,
Revealing what I truly am, what the darkness cannot.
Bryan Amerila Jun 2016
There are days when I see the sun peeking at me.
There are nights when I hear his footfalls.
There are months when eagles follow the oxen following the lions into my den following the missing One.
There are years when I just follow them following the sunny days catching the wintry nights inside the sun.
There are blank pages where my eyes have written blank answers to the questioning of footfalls.

Follow me, He said, and I followed the sun.
Inspired by Apollo
Bryan Amerila Apr 2016
Snake dips on water.
Wild rats hurry to its mouth,
Shuts quick, swallows all.
Bryan Amerila Apr 2016
Alone, butterfly
flutters on sea of nectar.
Abdomen full, bursts.
poem poetry haiku
Bryan Amerila Aug 2016
Imagine my surprise
Seeing you
Yesterday.

How often do
Our friends visit us
If at all

There you are
In silence
In the side walk

A wild
Green In the city

How did you come here,
My healer?

The last time I saw you
You were there
Near our river

Where the mountains
Meet the sea

Is it really you?
Or just a spitting image
Of a daughter?

Touch my nostalgic wounds
Can you heal them?

Bleed if you must
Please
So I can be there

In your blood
Once more
Bryan Amerila Jun 2016
He entered our window
On his chariot, gold
Crashing the balloons
Left by a Sunday celebration,
My nephew’s 1st birthday
Last Sunday, yes, last Sunday
When all of us orbited
The sun
On an evening
Until 10:30, post meridiem.
Bryan Amerila Apr 2017
(for her; she who suffers silently)

It’s not just a river
But a river bending through
Pain and a road forking.

It’s not a stem of tender
But a branch of summer leaves
Branching out to the sun
Wilt further dry and dry
She did.

It’s the bone-dry hands
A cup to plead --
A cup to contain sky’s tears:
April’s first refuse.

It’s the barren soil she
Whose face is drought
Awaiting river’s touch:
A profuse of fresh blood.

Bryan Amerila Apr 2016
A children's game:
One tries to find--
everyone that hides.
Bryan Amerila Jun 2016
Can immortality be found in a cup?
I long to  partake with you.
In your immortality--

You leave as I leave your cup.
             Leave me inside the cup
             Mouth your prayers
             Cover the lid, a boulder, cavernous sun.

Distance measures itself,
As the circle is to your cup,
While I stare, beseeching

At the wind turning you  into dust
Her ritual is done. It is done.
His body-- the body of her son.
The wind lifts her hands to offer you.

                       The sun bares his teeth.

Sipping in your cup, then came an epiphany--
I am who am.
I: the carnivorous sun.
Bryan Amerila Jun 2016
I drank a glass of water.
I thirst.

I drank a glass of water.
I thirst—
A woman’s tear in my throat.

I thirst.
A river is inside me.
I am river.

I am river – meeting two seas
Beside me.
Bryan Amerila Apr 2016
Virtue in waiting:
Patience is tested, again,
hair cut, then go home.

’P’s don’t **** people.
Golds, gunmen do it for them.
Or, they let them die.
April 10, 2016
2 haikus
Bryan Amerila Apr 2016
The bird’s the Finder,
Beak knocks, bamboo cleaves --
Cain and Abel: there, hide
two changelings: Jekyll and Hyde.
Bryan Amerila Jul 2016
Move a little
The sun will soon set
Cry a little
The rain will soon come
The phases of the moon
Will show
How the self-repairing tree
Will grow on the first moon
Lose its leaves on the second moon
And flower on the third moon
All within a month
While the woodsman will cut
The self-repairing tree.
Bryan Amerila May 2016
I am morning
A cellphone tucked inside my pocket
Who watches the watch kissing my wrist
While putting my glasses on
I am morning
A cellphone a watch my glasses.

I am a watch
A short hand pointing on 3
Reclining my back on the long hand touching 12
Waiting for my cell phone’s ring, my mother
Watches me putting my glasses on
I am a watch my glasses a cellphone.

I am my glasses
Watching myself on the black glass, the mirror
My cellphone’s off
Ring. Ring. Ring.
But glasses don’t ring
They just watch, watching the watcher,
My mother’s ring are my glasses, while

I am morning.
Bryan Amerila May 2016
For*  Marianne, a  woman  with  an  unusual  heart

I know her, perhaps by a pinch of night air,
Because we share the same music, same voice that night in Guadalupe,
After a day of toils for hearts climbing upon ladders, unending stairs.

I know her, perhaps half of those golden strings,
Because we share the same air of jollity that day in Enchanted kingdom,
Gasping for air, breathing faintly, yet enthralled by the twists and turns of magic.

The heart most tried is the strongest, like the gold tested in fire,
I know her.

I know her, perhaps the fullness of the orange moon,
Because we share the same water under the canopy of azure skies, that brief reprieve the El  Nido offers,
Sharing the same tongue of honesty we speak that night, I respect her.

I know her, perhaps more than she knows herself,
But that’s an unforgivable lie, indescribable it is to fathom a woman with an unusual heart,
Because hers, speaks of metaphors.
05.03.2016
Bryan Amerila Apr 2016
Night hangs slowly
As ephemeral glances
Drop by lovers,
Strangers past

Past lovers,
Drop glances, night
Hangs, ephemeral

Ephemeral, night
Lovers, strangers, we are

But strangers, lovers, then.
April 08, 2016
Bryan Amerila Jun 2016
i'm sorry i played with words
not knowing those words were you

i'm sorry i played with question mark
not knowing it was us

i'm sorry i played with period
not knowing it will end us

i'm sorry  for the all the poems i sent
not knowing you don't read them

i'm sorry, i'm just a comma
not knowing i too need a rest

i'm sorry if i need to find me, I, an ellipsis.
Bryan Amerila Aug 2016
A Rorschach test
I took while on the car
On the window
Ink blots scattered
That need my gathering
Those memories
Are black pebbles
Along the seashore
Of nostalgia and mal de mer:
My self-portrait slowly fades
As the vehicle
Flies fast.
Bryan Amerila Aug 2016
THE FLOWERS I SAW EVERY MORNING WERE CUT DOWN TO THEIR BULBS,
THEIR STEMS TWO OR THREE INCHES JUST ABOVE THE GROUND.
TWO OR THREE DAYS BEFORE,  I SAW THEIR WHITE FLOWERS,
LIKE SUPPLICANT HANDS, THEIR ARMS RAISED TO THE SKIES.

IT IS RAINING OUTSIDE. IT IS RAINING OUTSIDE.

A DECISION WAS READ TO A MAN, YES, TO A MAN.
WHY DO PEOPLE HAMMER THE WRONG NAILS?
OR NAILING THE WRONG MAN?
Bryan Amerila Aug 2016
In Tibiao,
My childhood’s home
I remember riding on a karosa, a cart
Being pulled by my grandfather’s carabao
While watching the setting sun
As we go home
After his day’s work,
I, accompanying him.

Tonight,
Seeing vehicles
Plying EDSA, lugging tons of passengers,
With their back lights, neon red, glaring
I think of hundreds and hundreds of bull frogs
Being pulled on their hind legs
With their smoldering eyes
Looking at me.
The night
Is my grandfather
Walking me home.
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