It's unfortunate to say
that I've always done my best work
when my skin was the canvas
and when the drawings would scab over
and slowly
ever
so
slowly
fade into permanent marks.

Stones are collecting in my stomach,
weighing me down to the depths.
I won't struggle this time.
I'm just too tired.
Let the water be my air.
Let me feel it in my lungs.

That feeling of absolute freedom**
that only comes in the summer
When trees are green and grass is greener
Trees seem taller and nights are longer.

We wait for this time of year
every second that it's not around
then take it for granted
until it disappears once more

Summer is youth
it's all of the bad being burnt away
in the beautiful sunlight
It's long hair and tan skin
It's cold drinks and young love
It's happiness.
It's freedom.

I wish that the dark scared me
and the silence didn't.

One time I got told that nobody would ever like my writing
because it was sad and pessimistic
but she was wrong
because there are so many people
that are just like me
and find beauty in the darkest people
and fall in love with the saddest of them all.

Dear Happiness,

Arise
in her eyes.
Stop her sighs,
the cuts on her thighs.
Make her realize
that the highs
won't stop her cries
or hide her lies.
And if she dies...

I'll miss her.

Sink into the sea,
drift into the coma
Let the silence overwhelm you.
Let it take you in it's arms,
let it breathe into your heaving lungs.
Enjoy the few moments
before the storm.

I'm not fond of the water,
but I swam in the ocean
because I figured that
if I couldn't drown my demons,
I might as well join them.

Please be careful,
for I am a poet
and words mean just as to much to me
as your actions do.

And with that one phrase
You reminded me of my mortality
You reminded me of how easily I am hurt,
especially when it comes to you.

Why is the dark considered bad?
Because it is different?
Because it hides things that we don't even take notice of in the day?
Why are people so afraid of it?
It's not bad. Just different.
If it's bad in the day, it will be bad in the night.
Darkness doesn't hide evil.
It just makes us more aware that it lurks behind trees.
So shouldn't we be hating the day?
It's the liar.
The light makes us think we are safe,
even when we aren't.
But the night, with it's infinite darkness
does not hide anything.
If it's bad in the night, it will be worse in the day.
Because we don't even know it's there.

Made up of complicated thoughts and worse actions
Sins that I won't repent
Love that is unrequited
Dreams that will be followed
No matter how many mountains stand in my way
Broken bones that still ache
Shattered glass stuck in my scars

This is it.
The final time
that you will push me around
or hurt me so much
that I spend the night in tears.
You obviously do not care about me
No, not at all.
So I am done
with you and your *******.
Those were the final tears,
the final time, that I wasted on
someone as awful as you.
So please,
show yourself to the door.
And do not come back.
You are not welcome.
I won't apologize. Not to you.
Not again.
Never again.