I came into this world,
My sister automatically hated me,
She wouldn't get the jewelry,
That my mother promised she would give,
My mother told me about jellybeans
"it will make you feel better," she said
I first learnt to walk,
My brother let me fall,
He said two children was enough,
Then I came and ruined it all,
My dad gave me a jellybean,
"it'll make you happy again" he said
I turned five,
My teacher didn't like me,
She found me a disgrace,
Just by being the way I am,
My friend gave me her jellybean,
"the jellybean would make you think of heaven instead,"
Ten was the worst,
I was fat as hell,
Girls picked while boys laughed,
Everyone just said it was puberty,
I ran home to my sister,
She said,"the jellybean will drive the pain away"
A teenager I soon became,
My father was drunk,
Rapping on the door like a ghost,
It was as if he felt his life was done,
My brother covered my ears,
"don't listen to his say, let the jellybean lead the way"
My grandmother died,
My mother cried her soul out,
She was like a sister to me,
My life was now incomplete,
My aunt dried my tears and said,
"Bite down on this jellybean, it's your only happy place"
My mother was stuck in depression,
Nothing could help her,
I was on my own now,
Everyone looked past me,
god came down to me and gave me a jellybean,
"never give up" was his advice to me.
20 was my age,
To rise and shine,
My family was finally happy again,
It was so great I had tears in my eyes,
My family gave me a box of jellybeans,
"more the merrier!" they said to me,
It was during college,
Did a handsome man ask,
"why eat those jellybeans,
When you're supposed to be sad?"
I gave him a jellybean, smiled and said,
"more sweetness fills in, than tears are shed,"
The man became my lover,
We were everything to each other,
We planned a whole life together,
Until he had to part away forever,
He kissed me on the lips and dried my eyes,
"please take this sweet, as token of my love for you,"
I went back home to find,
my brother had gone haywire,
He didn't listen to anyone anymore,
He was a rebel now,
I calmed him down and all he said,
"Carmel, you don't understand, all you care about is jellybeans,"
Soon after there was 'breaking news' on the TV
My brother had killed,
But soon ran away,
And I was related to a murderer,
My sister hugged me and asked,
"does this call for a jellybean?"
I got a job as an assistant mental helper,
What more could I do?
My resumé didn't hide my history,
Dead gran, criminal brother...
My sad face softened the one on my boss,
"have this jellybean, it's all I have," he said
A year after the same routine,
Did I learn my father had a drink too much,
The hospital bed he lied,
And went away without my goodbye,
After The nurse told me everything, I looked into my purse,
"oh beautiful jellybean, please do your magic,"
After, a marriage was arranged for me,
The man was sweet, but not mine,
He was a choice of someone else,
Which is what hurt me a lot,
I looked for a jellybean, but my sister sighed and said,
"you are about to be married, no need for those antics,"
In reality, the man and I were friends,
We had a bit in common,
But nothing like my lover,
I was alone again,
My mind yearned for a jellybean,
But I stopped, for my sister knew what I was doing
The day to tie the knot,
My mother was half gone,
She came in a wheel chair,
Yet she was clapping along,
The priest spoke as my 'husband' smiled,
"no jellybean, but smile, smile for them," I thought.
After living a different life,
I still hadn't learn to love him,
My sister got mad and ran away,
Far away from me, she said,
My husband sat down and gave me a packet of jellybeans,
"I know it's what you love, take them and smile again, for me"
31 my brother payed a visit,
He had changed so much I could have loved him instead,
He cried and apologized,
But I just gave him a hug and SMILED,
He gave me a special jellybean,
"to tell you how much I appreciate it," he said.
He lived with me for a while,
My "lover" said I needed the company,
We laughed, smiled and cried together,
It was the best year of my life,
My friend came up to me and said,
"a jellybean for improving your happiness,"
Later my mother was fully gone,
My brother couldn't bare the pain,
He ran away, for he wasn't strong,
Sadness filled my air again,
My neighbor came and wished me well,
But no happiness came without a jellybean.
My depression,
It became my obsession,
My husband tried and gave up,
There was nothing he could do,
Cigarettes were my new candy,
"I'm sorry, Carmel, you're too old for jellybeans''
My husband screamed,
I would never try,
So he packed his bags,
And left with no sweet goodbye,
I cried my heart out, and pulled out my cigarette,
" wow, Carmel, look what you've done"I said.
So this was my life,
I was lonely as hell,
No family to love me,
No one to ask if I was well,
I left the cigarette and took out my special jellybean,
" at least it sweetens the pain, reduces the hurt, and make you feel as if you're whole again,"
After all that has become,
after all that has been done,
The jellybean never left my side,
It was the one who loved me, all this time
"I love you, Jellybean," I said, " you are my one and only, best friend,"
Sorry it's long. But I love jellybeans.