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Jan 2017 · 1.6k
fragile
Abeja Reina Jan 2017
we are not fragile, together we would have been super heroes
we are not fragile, together we could have taken on the world
we are not fragile, together we could have soared to new heights
we are not fragile, together we could have had what all would envy
we are not fragile, together we could have been the unbreakable
we are not fragile, together we could have lasted through the ages
we are not fragile, together we could have held each other up in pride
we are not fragile, together we could have shown all what love is

we are not fragile, together no one could have stopped us ever...
By: B. Peterson
Jan 2017 · 522
I am not too sure...
Abeja Reina Jan 2017
I loved who I thought you were
I am pretty sure
Oh did we pretend?
I am pretty sure
Did I defend?
I am pretty sure
I needed to depend
I am pretty sure
I now have to contend
I am pretty sure
I wish someone would lend
I am pretty sure
It did not bend
I am petty sure
Is there offend?
I am petty sure
Is it the end?
I am pretty sure
Can it mend?
I am not too sure...
By: B. Peterson
Jan 2017 · 641
Dark Tragedy
Abeja Reina Jan 2017
There is no greater tragedy then
that which slips from our fingers.
Without reason or rhyme,
without tender goodbyes.
Your eyes filled with the sea,
your heart ebbs with the tide.
Those things that whisper soft,
that tickle the skin
and are lead by desire.
Fill dreaming minds, with lush waves
of the sweetest afterglow.
Any reasoning why, flew away
on the dark wings of the night,
and carry no weight.
Jan 2017 · 767
I BLAME YOU AT&T!!
Abeja Reina Jan 2017
I BLAME YOU AT&T;!!
For all the tears my baby must be crying thinking I am not there.
For all the calls he is trying to send me and I do not get YOU AT&T;!!
For all the lovely text message I am positive he is desperately sending me, YOU AT&T;!!

For all the "Good morning beautiful's " his strong hands are furiously texting me each and every day AT&T;!!
For all those wonderful "I love you's" he has to be trying fruitlessly to send me throughout the long and lonely days, YOU AT&T;!!
For all the " I miss you baby's" my sweet love must be tearfully hoping I will get, YOU AT&T;!!
I BLAME YOU AT&T;!!
Jan 2017 · 502
Waiting
Abeja Reina Jan 2017
There are moons I have not yet seen
Glassy ponds I have not swam in
Songs my soul has yet to hear
Love I have not felt
Arms that have not held me
Kisses that I so badly need
There are so many things I have not had
A life of happy experiences waiting to be had
Jan 2017 · 980
failed dreams
Abeja Reina Jan 2017
When you wipe away the tears of failed dreams...
you see your reality is far more beautiful than any false hope
When you wipe away the tears of failed dreams...
you see your true supporters are standing right beside you
When you wipe away the tears of failed dreams...
you see the arms that were waiting for you all along
When you wipe away the tears of failed dreams...
you open your heart to a lasting love
by B. Peterson
Jan 2017 · 841
Love doesn't take...
Abeja Reina Jan 2017
Love doesn't take two
I can love you all by myself
and I do...

Love doesn't take a million dollars
I can love you for free
but love is valuable...

Love doesn't take a lot of effort
I can love you easily
but it takes giving a part of yourself...

Love doesn't need a plan
I can love you with great spontaneity
but love takes passionate devotion...

Love doesn't require all your time
I can love you in the seconds of my day
but love takes a lifetime...
by: B. Peterson
Jan 2017 · 2.1k
I so hate that monster....
Abeja Reina Jan 2017
I so hate that monster
That monster that takes your breath
I so hate that monster
That monster that eats away at your spirit
I so hate that monster
That monster that steals your time away
I so hate that monster
That monster that tries to take you from me
I so hate that monster
That monster that dims your bright light
I so hate that monster
That monster that has hi-jacked your health
I so hate that monster
That monster that is always lurking in the shadows
I so hate that monster
That monster that will not win this battle!!!
By. Bpeterson
Dec 2016 · 503
So
Abeja Reina Dec 2016
So
So you just showed up in my life one day.
So you were rough around the edges. I liked that.
So you were kinda pushy. I liked that.
So you demanded that I not say good bye. When I wanted to.
So you made my heart flutter. I wasn't so sure I liked that.
So you were bossy too and yes I liked that.
So you became my friend. Yes my best friend.
So where did you go? I didn't like that.
So what the heck happened to you? I really didn't like that.
So you got me to fall for you. I knew I didn't like that.
So you disappeared. I really hated that.
So now I don't trust you. I dread that.
So now what? We give up I suppose?
by:   B. Peterson
Abeja Reina Dec 2016
In my darkness fear and panic flooding in.
I wait for a hand in the dark
As the night grinds me up.
No glimmer of rescue.
The darkness is like a heavy blanket
weighing me down.
Battling it like an angry animal so many endless nights.
No tender kindness, no loving embrace.
One failed rescuer lost to my heart forever.
Offered some comfort attempt.
Floating his boat in that harbor of dread.
But I am lost at sea, my legs dangle as bait for sharks that tear at my flesh as my life
force ebbs from my soul.
Cling cling to the rocks the thoughts screech
inside my skull....cling or it will swallow you!!

Bpeterson
fear, PTSD, night terrors, terror, fright, scream
Nov 2016 · 710
Ephemeral Enchantment
Abeja Reina Nov 2016
Rescued from the river of empty promises
My heart saved from a jagged death.

Your strong arms carried my lifeless being. Your broad shoulder cradled my weary head. Your kind and loving face gave me hope.

I ask you only to make me no empty promises I've had too many of those and please just be yourself I don't need a false Romeo. I have no need of ephemeral enchantment to make me swoon. All I need is a genuinely real and honest man.

The strength of your heart emanates a pure light so intense it melts all my fears of past forsaken loves.

And together we will swim in the warm caressing ocean of love abiding souls.
By: B. Peterson
Sep 2016 · 1.3k
forgetting you
Abeja Reina Sep 2016
Forgetting the you, you never were

All these years to find each other
And then we lose one another
The universe is so cruel
When all I ever wanted was you in my arms

Forgetting the you, you can not be

Missing you hurts down to my bones
I ache from the inside out
The pain of losing you pulses in my veins
Illusion eyes filled with salty devastation

Forgetting the you, you are afraid to be

I am desperate to remove you from my heart
To extract you from my brain
To save my soul from despair

Forgetting the you, you fight so hard against

I send you deleted text messages everyday
"I miss u so much it hurts"
"I wish our love was real"
"I need....

Forgetting the you, I know you could be

Nothing you own matters to me
Everything you are does
The tenderness inside you touched my heart

I will never forget the you, you truly are
by: bpeterson
Sep 2016 · 900
My Rock
Abeja Reina Sep 2016
As I sank in my raging sea, you were my rock.

I was at my dead end, when you swaggered into my life.

You said I was f....ing hot, game on!  
I am a true heart...no game.

As I sank in my raging sea, you were my rock.

Oh how I loved my rock.
NO ONE stood a chance in my heart.
There was only room in my soul for my rock.
No one even got on my radar, you were my rock.

I loved my rock so solid, so real, so strong and so loving.
My rock the only place I could rest, where I could finally breathe.

How I loved my rock, so many sharks circled me but you were my rock.
and then...
My rock crumbled.
Left me alone, left me lonely, left me forever.

My rock left me flat on my face in the dirt.
I was a game, a joke, an option.

My rock was never real, and I am alone in my sea of tears
You are my rock no more...
by: bpeterson
Sep 2016 · 613
Echoes
Abeja Reina Sep 2016
The battle is owned by all.
Fallen take my hand as I can stand.
No one is left behind.
Bones of the long forgotten litter the land.
Dragging shards of my battered feelings.
I trudge through drifts of dead emotions.
On the eye scape the horizon of my future.
No cloaked boney finger pointing the way.
Laughter does not reside in my ears.
Echoes of might have beens waft in the air.
My damaged soul survives.
By BPeterson
Aug 2016 · 1.1k
Have to be...
Abeja Reina Aug 2016
You do not have to be perfect
to be wonderful.
You do not have to be a super hero
to be brave.
You do not have to be wealthy
to be generous.
You do not have to be old
to be wise.
You do not have to be abused
to be compassionate.
You do have to be human
to be humane.
By: B.Peterson
Aug 2016 · 387
Never
Abeja Reina Aug 2016
There is a lonely tether to never
So longingly lingering in your mind
Never will I kiss your handsome face
So basic and dire
Never will I feel your touch
So tragically final
Never will I fall into the serenity of your eyes
Such desolate longing
Never will I surrender to your whisper in my ear
So overwhelmingly sad
Never will I feel the happiness that was supposed be ours
So empty
By: B.Peterson
Aug 2016 · 711
The ghosts of my past
Abeja Reina Aug 2016
They haunt my dark corners
They linger like smoke in my eyes
They lead me down an empty path

The ghost of my past

They bring only acid tears
They chase away my fleeting joy
They trap my soul and **** my heart

The ghosts of my past

They can not destroy me now
They have no hold on my love
They cease to exhume my tragedies

You are the light of my future

You set my horizon ablaze
You ignite my imagination
You free my spirit

My past is only a ghost

By BPeterson
By b. Peterson
Aug 2016 · 336
where is my place...
Abeja Reina Aug 2016
is there a place for me?
   maybe in a heart I can not find
is there a place for me?
    among the sunflowers there could be room for me
is there a place for me?
possibly in the desert of the lost and longing
is there a place for me?
in the dark matter of the unforgiving universe
there is no place for me
by: B. Peterson
Abeja Reina Aug 2016
Swallowed up by the ocean of despair
Tiny insignificant lost in the depths
Worn and bleeding
old and tired
No desperate searches have been launched
Missed by none
Defeated loser the count down is over
There are no seconds ticking away
Final chapter written
There is no chance for survival
No funeral fires will burn
No sad tears will be shed
Gone and never remembered
A short sorrowful story
Battered to the end
No wrenching good byes will be said...

Oh my wretched heart I will never think of you again
By:  B. Peterson
Abeja Reina Aug 2016
what i once wore on my sleeve
is no longer my fashion
i am sleeveless once and for all
as a bra on the fire, i am liberated
from the heavy weight of  the broken
released to fly from the pain
i soar as high from the liars and once trusted

what i once wore on my sleeve
is now just shattered pain
i close out the disingenuous
careful not to remove the shards
lodged in my soul

what i once wore on my sleeve
stab my feet as i walk over what is left
my cold life line no longer sustains me
i am unfeeling my sadness

i no longer wear what tore me down to nothing
i no longer wish for that which it offered
i know it was all empty promises
i have no delusions of bliss

what i once wore on my sleeve
kills me no more
i am gone
by: BPeterson
Aug 2016 · 343
The Moon and Stars
Abeja Reina Aug 2016
You no longer hang the moon in my sky
You are not the stars in my heavens
You once held my whole universe in your hands

You didn't want me....

You are no longer the twinkle in my stars
You are not the honey in my hive
You are no longer the harmony in my life song

You didn't want me...

You are not my soul
You will never be the warmth to my cold
You are not the knight to my princess

You didn't want me...

Now he is the steps to my dance
Now he lights my love path
Now he is the seconds to my minutes

He wants me...

He is the morning light that brightens my day
He is the pulsing life running through my veins
He is the breathe that fills my pounding chest

He is my moon and stars now and for life...
B. Peterson
Aug 2016 · 391
You take
Abeja Reina Aug 2016
You take my blood so you can live.
     when will you stop?
You tear my soul from my warm body.
     why do you think you need what is mine?
You drag my heart through our broken heaven.
     when will the hell end?
You steal what I once gave freely.
     how can you look in the mirror?
You shattered our content, our private perfection.
     how long will you stalk my happiness?
You stand on the edge of my freedom like a thief.
     must you breathe my life, my spirit?
I will not acquiesce...you can not have my all, my everything.
     do you think you can take my essence?
No more taking!
You take...by B. Peterson
Jul 2016 · 658
Once again I say good bye
Abeja Reina Jul 2016
Once again I say good bye to a happiness we shared
          So I don't cry..,
Once again I say good bye to that sweet feeling I got every time I heard I'll  love me forever
          So I don't cry...
Once again I say good bye to a day filled with joy hearing your excited voice on the phone. But not today or tomorrow or yesterday.
          So I don't cry...
Once again I say good bye to being your special someone.
          So I don't cry...
Once again I say good bye to love.
          So I don't cry...
Once again I say good bye to forevers.
          So I don't cry...
And once again I say good bye to my heart.
          So I don't cry...
I wrote this a few years ago about my marriage and my love dying.
Jul 2016 · 812
Mask
Abeja Reina Jul 2016
Optimism is my mask
Hurt is my soul
Pain my shield
Laughter my sword
Silence my wall
You may not enter
Trust is violent
Kindness my instrument
You can not have the bullet to end me
I hide the true me

By B. Peterson
Jul 2016 · 480
A Lifetime with You
Abeja Reina Jul 2016
Can you hold my hand? She asked, as they walked along the white sandy beach together.

Can you hold my hand? She asked, as they gazed into one another’s eyes and promised to forever.

Can you hold my hand? She asked, as they watched with joy as their baby blow out the candles on his first birthday.

Can you hold my hand? She asked, as they tearfully waved good bye to the last child leaving.

Can you hold my hand? She asked, as they looked into the precious face of their first grandchild.

Can you hold my hand? She asked, as she sat by his side until he reluctantly closed his eyes for the last time.
How I wish you could hold my hand.  But she knew he would always hold her hand if only in her heart.

By B. Peterson
Jul 2016 · 358
Captive
Abeja Reina Jul 2016
Wingless bird’s song of sooth.
Heart of torment weeps.
For the windy lover she can touch no more.
The tree of heritage has forgotten her name.
No seed will be sewn.
No springtime joy.
The peering sunrise brings empty notes.
And only silence remembers her song of sooth.

By B. Peterson
Jul 2016 · 472
Love Harp Vibrates
Abeja Reina Jul 2016
We wrote our vows on the water pressed sand

Our sun kissed faces toward tomorrow

The pink swirling sky over head

Love harp vibrates sweet sound

Unclouded visions cover our eyes

Truth rings in our ears

Fears vail has gone

Warmed by glowing heart sun in our forever minds
Jul 2016 · 224
Wishing Night
Abeja Reina Jul 2016
Slumber sweet on wispy clouds.

Wishing night of secret thought.

Covered smiles will point the way.

Yet door of answers is unlocked.

The question you've held all along.

Your wings of trust spread in flight.

Faith leap joins our soaring souls.

To forever fly the lasting sea
Jul 2016 · 296
Times Promise
Abeja Reina Jul 2016
Cool blue wind swept desires.
Breathless dreams warm the mind.
Bonfire memories of a two track youth.
Drama torn sorrows to adult ambitions.
Rock strewn hard beaten highways.
Languished trestle well traveled.

Holds unknown life's map.
Wide eyed unveiled truths.
Wings span to freedoms spirit.
Weathered knowledge gained.
Times promise to sworn ends.
Jul 2016 · 241
Not My Time
Abeja Reina Jul 2016
Oh enemy leave unwanted.
Go! Displacement is yours.
Envisioned light draws near.
Finger tip holds last thread.
Cemented strength is mine.

My pocket stones anchor.
Distance kept til gain is had.
Enveloped dark, fear screams!
Dark eyes have come, terror!

Death not owned, oh tiny light.
Prickle voices scratch at my mind.
Dark heat vanishing
Exuberance rushes...
Jul 2016 · 222
Eternal
Abeja Reina Jul 2016
Black earth dawns ... where nothing remains.
Mournful trails of desolate tears ... the soundless desert thrives.
Reposed heart cries out ... black soul relinquish.
Breath of life eludes ... dark matter trespasses.
Joyless traveler ... trudges on in unending journey.
Withering eternal ... restrains freedom's wish.
Wounds treasure heals ... Pilbara's gem eludes.

By:  B. Peterson
Jul 2016 · 247
Universe
Abeja Reina Jul 2016
I searched for you in my deepest sea
Your sorrow endless for I am unseen
Your eyes shut me out as I clung to no hope
My bountiful gifts relentlessly turned out
Sadness is your empty prison
Unvalued relics now treasures
My kingdom is now ruled
My life center is healed
The stars I have swallowed
My sweetest universe I have found

B. Peterson

— The End —