The worst way to lose somebody is to be, in his heart, ordinary; to be his luxury turned duty.

And the things he do, he does them to keep up with you, but not anymore to keep you.

This is when you'll know you've lost him. This is when it will hurt. But only until this you'll know you've loved deeply.

Your lips would blister with prayers for his return, but no poetry in the world could touch his soul and guide him back to your arms--

none unless the words are yours.*



P.S. *You'll only truly lose him when you start to think that maybe after all, you've never truly loved him. And that is also when you'll lose yourself-- to your own make-believe.

on the first day of spring
my mother died

she had always loved flowers
and had turned
our interior hallway
into a luscious greenhouse
   father was not always happy
   about the falling leaves

in her later years
when skiing was no longer hers
she hated winters
   their long nights
   their waning sun

she was always longing
   for spring
waiting for the day
the morning sun lit up
the kitchen desk again
in her parents’ house
where she was born
   and had grown old

the night before
I had called and told her
that here in the south
the first flowers were already
   dotting the gardens

she had smiled on the phone
   almost inaudibly
speaking had become difficult

   maybe her last images
   were of colorful spring meadows

today at 7.10 a.m.
my mother died

spring has come

When I say that I love you,
I mean that right now,
in this moment,
I am in love with you.
I mean that I care about you.
I mean, that right now,
in this moment,
I would like to be with you for the long run.
I mean that right now,
in this moment,
I can see myself being with you forever.

When I say that I love you,
I do NOT mean that I can promise that I WILL love you forever.
It only means that right now,
in this moment,
I would like to try.
I do NOT mean that I think loving you will be easy.
It only means that right now,
in this moment,
I think it will be worth it.
I do NOT mean that I expect you to always agree with me.
I do NOT mean that I expect you to love me in exactly the same way.
I ONLY mean that I hope that you can try
to love me too.

Music I heard with you was more than music,
And bread I broke with you was more than bread;
Now that I am without you, all is desolate;
All that was once so beautiful is dead.

Your hands once touched this table and this silver,
And I have seen your fingers hold this glass.
These things do not remember you, beloved,--
And yet your touch upon them will not pass.

For it was in my heart you moved among them,
And blessed them with your hands and with your eyes;
And in my heart they will remember always,--
They knew you once, O beautiful and wise.

How many hearts are you gonna burn?
How many hearts are you gonna burn?
How many hearts are you gonna burn?
How many hearts are you gonna burn?

I don't put stock in the things you say.
You broke my heart in so many ways.
You say you love me, but you love them, too.
I'll never again make love to you.

You don't want to be tethered to just one man.
On the flip, I guess I can understand.
So, go on and let your heart have fun.
I could have only been your only one.

Love's not a bag of snacks, baby.
You've got a lot of lessons to learn.
I could have been your only one.
How many hearts are you gonna burn?

How many hearts are you gonna burn?
How many hearts are you gonna burn?
How many hearts are you gonna burn?
How many hearts are you gonna burn?

You have many men, but they don't know,
But I'm The ******* Jack Kid, you know.
I won't blow your cover, so don't you fret.
They'll learn soon enough what they don't know, yet.

You know, your logic ain't wrapped too tight.
Your a dead-end bird flying blind at night.
How's it gonna go when the others catch on,
When they all know they weren't your only one?

Love's not a bag of snacks, baby.
You've got a lot of lessons to learn.
I could have been your only one.
How many hearts are you gonna burn?

How many hearts are you gonna burn?
How many hearts are you gonna burn?
How many hearts are you gonna burn?
How many hearts are you gonna burn?

If I'm the last white cloud at sunset
You're the morning hue of the sky (orange-red).
If I'm the concentrated chaos in my eyes
You're the mirthful flash of your pearly whites.
If you're the cool blue pool in summertime
I'm the orange orange (which doesn't even rhyme).
We're poles apart, you and I
But once in a while we see eye to eye
And the space in which our gaze meets
Is as close as I'll be to infinity.

It will not hurt me when I am old,
   A running tide where moonlight burned
    Will not sting me like silver snakes;
The years will make me sad and cold,
    It is the happy heart that breaks.

The heart asks more than life can give,
   When that is learned, then all is learned;
    The waves break fold on jewelled fold,
But beauty itself is fugitive,
    It will not hurt me when I am old.

I am alone, in spite of love,
In spite of all I take and give —
In spite of all your tenderness,
Sometimes I am not glad to live.

I am alone, as though I stood
On the highest peak of the tired gray world,
About me only swirling snow,
Above me, endless space unfurled;

With earth hidden and heaven hidden,
And only my own spirit’s pride
To keep me from the peace of those
Who are not lonely, having died.

I am the sun
and you
are the moon:
my tidal-wave
tears
are controlled
by you

So when it’s 2am
in the middle of the night,
I know why
I can’t
sleep tight.