The doctors gave me a pill not to feel
You place hands on me to heal
I try not to make this a big deal
I try not to make this a big deal

I'm trying not to deal
But I live in a casino
and the currency
is my sanity

I deal in sin
I deal in skin
Please don't take your hand away
I want to cash out

I want to let go of all of this
and tear up the deed
I want to sell everything
I want to go out of business
I want to wake up and whisper
Here once stood Casino Depression

i want to get high in foreign cities
travel to places i have yet to lay my eyes on
pack a bag and take off, my only motive to feel free
i want to kiss lovers on pavement my toes have never touched
beneath trees rooted with legends in their leaves
ensuring everlasting love
and i want to feel light, rather than weighed down
anchored to one small town
i want to drop everything and get away
to places where time is altered
and the stars are always present
whether it be in the night sky or people's eyes
i want to fall in love with strangers, cities, and scenes
i crave so deeply to feel free
to start anew

but at the same time
i want you to come too

s.s

this is
where two points collide/
where a body meets a soul/
where that gold tint in the skyline
is a reminder of how a past lover’s hair
appeared in the sunlight.

this is the place where the sky falls;
sun, moon, stars, and clouds
hit the ground. they crash
and they burn.

the ocean spills out so many gentle words.
but like love tokens in the night time
they mean nothing when
what is done
is done.
we are what we are.
scarred and unmade.
messy and undone.

what is holy?
is it the way you hold your lips,
or the straightness of your spine?
the glistening of skin in the moonlight
or the kiss of sweat on your forehead?
or is that just human?

when did i ever
stop being able to tell
the true difference?

in this place where
our points collide
and our stars align
something
slants in our sky
and it falls/flies/forces itself
upon the horizon

inside our rear view
is something we’ll forget
leave the past behind

and the stars,
they shall follow.

Was it ever
about you?

New York City is all existential lust and anxiety
personally,
all the words and phrases catching on
each other's faux fur coats and
the way your lips frame love is different than
mine,
and it's like dreaming
or a drug, dancing and dazzling from a thousand feet above
the skyline isn't as cool as they said,
it's hazy and gray (like your eyes), and
i love it

I don’t know
when or where,
but I know I’ll
meet you there

"You don't miss me, you just missed the person that loved you so much you didn't have to love them back"