God’s discipline

I imagine the young girl with a Strawberry Short Cake suitcase dragging down the road

They kept saying she’s out of control,

even at six years old

Dreams kept her heart knowing

Belief destroyed by family

Now she stands empty

A belief destroyed by reality

  Her  iniquity is the grand scheme

Broken she began

Now unwritten

A dangerous grant

God pretends to know her

He wants mild, not cold

Let’s be honest,

she will always be out of hold

She will always be an unknown soul

This is the way she will always be told

colourblind
to traffic lights
but I know how they're
supposed to look

I walk along
a thinning kerb
frequently falling
stumbling along

nothing stops me
I stay on the edge
this line between safety
and imminent death

“Grades are getting low,
the teens are getting high.
That 12 year old is pregnant
and her parents wonder why.

A 1st grader is swearing,
a 3rd grader has been *****.
Just take a look around you,
isn’t the system great?

Who isn’t faded these days,
teens are sending nudes,
kids are getting beaten,
the teachers see the bruises.

No calls for help are spoken,
teens are smoking ****,
young girls are cutting,
this isn’t what we need.

The marks of taunt and yelling,
parents are divorced.
That 14 year old is drinking beer,
this can’t get any worse.

A little girl has killed herself,
nobody seems to care.
Another kid has been expelled
for a stupid dare.

But it needs to change.
Our world is officially broken.
It’s time to take a stand;
your thoughts need to be spoken.”

Thoughts are running wild
As the tears stream down my face.
Depressed and suicidal,
But I should just stay in my place.

I’m feeling kinda broken,
Feeling kinda lost.
I wanna make my pain
Just go away at any cost.

Don’t get me wrong, I grew up
In a nice enough neighborhood.
And I did everything that
Anybody said I should.

But it wasn’t enough.
It wasn’t me.
I thought that I could help the world
With the things I’ve seen.

My cousin lost herself
In drinking hard and smoking ***.
My good friend tried to run away
And lose her past a lot.

I, myself, have struggled
With thoughts of losing it all.
The pro and cons of jumping off
That cliff into the free fall.

I mean if there's something that can save me
Then it'll show up, right?
It's worth the wait to take a blade to my wrist
And **** it up, right?

The truth is, I don't know
How to do this and win the fight.
I need someone to show me
There's still a ray of light.

I fell into a pit of despair
And it consumed me.
I guess the only way to help the world
Was to lose me.

Finding myself is gonna take a while.
Don't know if I can make it.
Keep giving out my heart
Hoping someone will take it.

Drinking, smoking,
Doing everything to make me numb.
Doing stupid things.
Making people call me dumb.

Popping pills like candy
Just to get me through the day.
Trying to end it all;
To make the pain just go away.

It wasn't perfect. Never.
It wasn't good enough for anyone.
So I always sat alone
And wished my life was done.

~Ashton Grayson Everly