Death was in her lungs
And it was imminent
Every *******, gulping breath she took
Came with a bedside beg
Of release

I couldn’t stay
I couldn’t watch
I’m a coward
A traitor to the blood
In my veins
So alive, so healthy
To the blood
I received from her

A kiss upon her forehead
Her darkened skin
Turned to paper
Sickeningly soft
To my rough lips

Her suffering
Not dulled
By anything
Spirituality, science
People or family

A painful, sputtering sleep
In a clinical room
By the murky sun’s graceless light
On a cloudy afternoon

I forgot to say
I love you
But words aren’t enough
Words are meaningless
It is our actions
Which doth divine
Our true intentions
Our true emotions
And mine
Reveal only cruelty
And the absence of courage

Sweet sixteen and never been kissed
Sweet seventeen and never been kissed
Effervescent eighteen and never been kissed
Nearly numinous nineteen and never been kissed

Upon a hallowed eve
Night of the sweltering, wintry heat
Night of the frigid, summery cool
Words fell out of my mouth

Gratefulness,
Thankfulness,
Feelings,
Memories,
Words
Trut­hfully
I no longer recall
In the morning after

It was…
An experience
Neither good
Nor bad
No more, no less
Perhaps one day something grand
Perhaps one day something insignificant

One ought to cherish
The flattery
Of a genuine girl
And one ought to cherish
The honour
The lovesick
Lovestruck
Lunacy
Of a genuine girl
Perhaps once in love
But not anymore
Not now
Not with the new year
So close

Oh darling Flower Child, you speak ever so pretty
Your breath is like the summer wind, young and warm
However with such lovely youth, comes such a pity
Too many thoughts come and swarm
Upon your gentle tongue is such very good advice
However, seldom do you follow such good thoughts, oh, what a price

For wisdom that comes from yonder year
You do not know. What you say, I love to hear
Because I want to learn
I want to learn from your fantasised mistake
Be bold, be daring, act out of turn
Tell him you love him, Flower Child; gamble all your hesitations upon that stake

I swear by all my moons and stars, he will love you back
He would be a fool not to love your soul, untainted and beguiled
And your verdant eyes and your wit sharp as a tack
For all your eccentricities and more, you will be loved, dearest Flower Child
So, open your mouth and speak: relish the uncertainty
To the adventurous winds you speak of in breaths of eternity

Tell him Flower Child of the love you have for him
Even if your heart is fit to break at there mere thought
Tell him of the wondrous quibbles, of the loving hymn
That you wrote for him; of the words for him you wrote
Into lovely wreaths of poetry
Laced with dulcet sincerity

Quit your flower fortunes; stop blowing dandelion seeds
Your precious little dandelions are but weeds
Stop plucking petals from roses; white painted red
They do not know your heart, they do not know your head
They are but plants, dearest Flower Child
They have no sense for sensibilities so pay their predictions no mind
I know you wish to surrender to your feelings; breathe as wild
As the winds of fortune in your mouth and you may just find
That your first love may just be your first lover
But there is only one way for such sweet feelings to be discovered.

You lied,
Said Flower Child
To me
There is no escaping it
It is true
There is no flowery lie
The petals have fallen off
He loves you not

Hopes plucked
Much like the petals
You pluck
To divine
Questions and answers
Going around in circles
Like daisy chains
On your head like a crown

Despair in your eyes
Once gorgeous,
Now blank,
Once verdant,
Now dry,
For there is no love
There is no requite

I apologise,
Dearest Flower Child
But look
You have bloomed
You have changed
You have grown stronger
From allowing yourself to be weak
To be emotionally vulnerable
Heart fluttering
Like leaves in the wind scattering

And now,
Flower Child, please
It is time to regrow
Bloom brighter
Bloom stronger
Bloom longer
You will love again
The world is a garden
So, there is a good many more
Flowers for you to fancy

She was wearing a wedding gown
In a high school gymnasium
She was at her wedding
I was at her wedding
And what a sweat-stained spectacle
It was

Numinous nineteen
Not a groom to be seen
She was the sole bride
I don’t even know who was
Sharing vows with her

I was in the audience
There were many people in the audience
She was up on stage
Gorgeous in a gown
A mad look in her eye
As her wretched hands
Held onto wretched flowers
But not a priest or a pastor
Not a groom-bride
Or a bride-bride
To be seen

Not even twenty
She was getting married
And I don’t know to who
So, I thought her a mad woman
No, a girl
A mad, mad girl
She is still so young

I refused to believe
That she
Of lily-white skin
And unmatched potential
Not yet used
For she had not yet lived
To the fullest extent
Would get married like this
Inelegant and stinking
Unintelligent
When she was of the most brilliant mind

She gave chase
Because I insulted her
Her and her wedding
Her wedding more like a funeral
To commemorate
The death
Of her sanity

Are you ******* high?
I asked
Revolt and horror in my voice
She held onto my shoulders
A crazed look in her eye

A question
Of obsession
Was her reply
When I realised
I know the girl
I know her face
I know her dress
But I do not know
Her mind
Her love
Her life

And reply
I cannot
Where questions
Meet more questions
Mark my losing virtues
With a grip like a vice
With an uneasy voice
She asked:
Do you hate me?

Sipping
Assorted sins and vices
Whiskey, gin, brandy:
Whatever tastes good
Tastes alive in my mouth; like a cemetery

Watching
The prismatic shadows
Of the moon
Through stained glass
Stained like tears on our cheeks

Hey there, my love,
How did we come to this place?
And this time?
You are trying to understand
I told you
Something grave

Death of a brother
Death of a bond
And the responsibility
Lies in my lie

I hadn’t meant to hurt you
Much like alcohol
Numbs the mind
I wanted to
Numb your heart

I had my fortune told
By a drunk girl
At a masquerade ball
She stank of sweet liquors
And spoke even sweeter
Dulcet divinity
In her blood red lips

Dreams which leave me breathless
And ******
But give me ideas
To push myself beyond
The world of the living
And immortalise my written words
Etch them on side walks
With pink and gold stars

Bored with a Ouija board
Tarot card symbolism drawn
On the back of a pizza box
Spirits and stars
Illuminate secret desires
In the constellations of my mind
And it comes with such strange musings
Penned in a book of shadows

Café crème cigars
Capnomancy on a lazy lakeside
Notebooks and noteworthy slothfulness
Swirls and curls in an azure sky
Modern mythology was thick in the air
I could feel the smile
Of the sun

Little lover on a hallowed eve
No miraculous kiss
Just words that meant something
But mean nothing now
Outside of a delayed fantasy
To tell wistful stories of

Fragile city streets
Cluttered with contemporary art
And gorgeous people
From all walks of life
Walking through mine
They seem to transient
For my liking
Compared to the dusty highways
That I’m used to worshipping the world at

Rock and roll radio
Two-dollar earrings
And fourteen-dollar sunglasses
Denim jacket bought expensive
With patches bought cheap
Licence plates dated from the eighties
And stated from the States of America
Stud the walls of a small-time pub
Graffiti on the bricks
Poetry and lyrics is how I get my kicks

I can feel it in the hot air
In the summer sun
Where I bask in imagined limelight
Just like I felt glory in her lips
And glory in his music
And glory in those cards
I can feel it within myself
My glory
My story
And it is a claim I shall take
It is my destiny