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You want to fight?
Alright
Let me get your gloves
And tie my hands behind my back
Because there's no point in a counter attack
You don't care
That's fact
Every word i say to you is just thin air
Arguing that all your low blows are fair
And your violence twords me?
It's all acceptable crazy
And my "FUUCK YOU!" retort is blasphemy
i have to accept your every issue
Acknowledge what you have and are currently going through
And for the most part i do
But when it comes to anything to do with me
All of a sudden you can't see
What happened to "we"?
Conveniently disappearing quickly
Replaced with a lowly "me"
This isn't a reality that i want to live anymore
So this time when i paddle out i'll sink the ore
There'll be no more attempts to return to shore

©2024
There's no light
There's no end to this darkness
I still fight
But I no longer proclaim, "I got this"
Out of spite
I continue this meaningless process
In spite of
Just about every swing being a miss

©2024
calm seas, restless lungs

breathe it in
the mournful breath is out there

skin is numb

the words are too

holding still
hidden under the tongue

holding
hidden

one more dies before he gets there
(what did the letter say...?)

holding
hidden

what did it say...?
cry out for mercy
plead for peace

offer yourself
a willing sacrifice.

shout from the rooftops
for all to hear.
Untethered

Today I don’t feel like talking
Go away and leave me alone
Don’t even think about calling me
I will refuse to answer the phone

Please don’t make any demands
I find it so hard to say no
It breaks me up if I can’t please
I need the approval to show

People can be so exhausting
Their clamouring I can’t bear
They drain my social battery
And I have no energy to spare

My front door is locked and bolted
The rest of the world can’t get in
I can’t deal with all of the chaos
It puts my head into a spin

No one to question my actions
No one to give unwanted advice
A wall to keep out all emotion
Why would I even think twice

In this agony of silence
I have lost the power of speech
Disconnected from humanity
All help is beyond my reach

I am lost inside my own mind
My only guide is my self doubt
This maze has become my prison
The exit is not my way out

Untethered from your reality
Now I am drowning not waving
Voices screaming inside my head
They tell me I’m not worth saving

And yet deep down in my core
Hides a desperate need to survive
If only I had some strength left
Maybe I’d fight to stay alive
An arranged marriage
A love that never was

So many secrets
And untouched lands

The burdens she carries
In pursuit of happiness

From God's forest
Of dusk line hills

The plainstones palace
Is the necklace she wears
To commence the descent

A soft jubilant rain
Promises borealis
And offers of peace

She prays silently for each
As they lower the crown
In a flourish of confetti

It's all about pageantry
It's all about possession

And the way she sits
On her throne
Like she sits
On the King's face
I love harshly,
in the thicket with sword
I will not yield,
I'll be your shoulder, your shield
Lean into me
"Can we do something for each other?
Sort of a pact....
I feel like I don't have to say this
Since we are how we are but....
I look at relationships in a different light.
More meaningful, more energetic,
More open, more direct, more vulnerable
Than any "relationship" I've ever previously experienced
Or have seen others experience.
When I said I'd be your girlfriend,
It may as well meant wife as well
Because that's how I am
And thats what you will receive.
Too often you see people miserable,
Argue, possess, slander, abuse etc.
I don't want any of that with you.
So can we agree
To never keep thoughts or feelings from one another,
Good or bad....
Never speak to each other
Out of our name,
Never low blow,
Never raise our voice,
Humans will always disagree
But I plan to fully handle myself and emotions
With Tact, Self Control, Discipline, Respect
And Grace.
I will always support growth and understanding
And I promise to give you my best.
I believe we are both very capable of all of this. 
And it will keep us both happy and healthy."




....... close to a year ago and I still remember reading these words for the first time.
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