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Belle Jul 2015
Realizing this isn't a dream is what breaks my heart.
These things should only happen in nightmares -
Where I suddenly wake up with a start
and say 'Thank God it's only a Dream.'

But it's not.  Fate is too cruel.
I was given a void that ***** my entire being.
A pawn fighting a queen. Am I that of a fool?
Or should I hope for another Spring?

A marionette by day and a ragged doll by night
Empty soul, cool eyes, a heart that stings,
Under the sun, A smile to make it all right,
At the end of the tunnel, will I ever see the light?
The moment when one truth shattered all the things you believe in,
Questioning if love shown was genuine.
Waking up everyday with a heavy heart and a lodge stuck in your throat.
Crying in front of someone who won't tell a soul
Belle Jun 2015
I love you more than you love me
Just the thought of  you kept me from the wrong way
You are the only person I see
Got past all demons, I have not strayed.

But why didn't you do the same
You have once again stabbed my healing scar
For you, is this all just a game?
No turning back. We are more than marred.

Goodbye is a hard thing to say
When I think all the good memories that we had
But that alone couldn't fill the gap
You have lost me. When you chose to fall into a trap.
It is human nature to want what we don't have. Once acquired, we lose interest, take it for granted and seek for another chase.

True love counters this. It is valuing what you already have. Not when you no longer have it, you just realize its worth.
Belle Dec 2014
We've barely felt the sun rays
When the shadows took over
I've let you hold this heart
But you just let it shatter.

Shaken and battered is the ground
Where the roots spread and grow
Wind, quake and hurt bound
Breaking in a single blow.
When I was a kid, I had a field trip with my classmates in an amusement park. I was walking relentlessly when a certain doll caught my eye. For a child like me, acquiring it would be the greatest gift of all. And so my dad aka chaperone bought it for me.

I was enjoying my time at the park but I was already  imagining ways of how I would play with that doll as soon as I get home - I would comb its hair, fix it's make up and dress it all up.

I explored that park and rode the ferris wheel last.  It was the night I discovered that I have fear of heights. I was crying when we were on top of the wheel. Relief poured through me when the ride was over and I was just longing to go home.

On the way home, I opened my bag to look for my doll. To my utmost horror, it wasn't in the bag. It was then I realized that I left it in the ferris wheel. :(

The feeling of excitement and anticipation dissipated like bubbles in the wind. All that was left was major dissapointment and plain sadness.

Just like that doll, love has given me dissapointments. I expected and planned too much only for it to be taken away before things even began.  

In the end, I could say that life ***** sometimes. We can't change it. But we can control how we react to it.
Belle Nov 2014
I asked you a question
I already knew the anwer
I know it will hurt no matter what
words from your mouth will be uttered.
Sometimes, the truth hurts. But knowing a person lied to you hurts even more.

Some people want to believe a simple lie than the complicated truth.

I am not one of them.
Belle Nov 2014
One glance started it all.
Everything faded in the background.
You stood out amongst all souls
I think I have finally been found.

The next day you said hello
I was speechless. I just smiled.
I walk past you with a skip on my toes
My heart just soared a thousand miles.

The next week we were going out
Two souls dancing in the crowd
It was almost, almost a fairy tale
Oh! My heart was beating so loud.

The next month I finally said yes
When you asked if I could be your girl
I was wearing this pretty red dress
Under the night sky, we kissed and twirled.

The months to follow were eternal bliss
Every single moment I wouldn't miss
You are a knight that swept me off my feet
For me, you'll launch a thousand fleets.

A year and two, time just flew.
To jump a cliff, I'll do it for you
But then I saw with my own eyes you kissing another
and finally, I knew.

Hurt and betrayed, I couldn't grasp
How my love could shatter my everything
Swollen eyes, red nose, voice so rasp
I was left empty. It hurts! It stings!

An eternity went by and still helplessly trapped
A lost soul that has met it downfall
Yearning to turn back time and stop
the one glance that started it all.
:(
Belle Nov 2014
Something's not right
I can't sleep at night
Dread at the pit of my stomach
Doubts, all stack on the rack.

In my mind, alarm bells ring
my heart knotted with strings
Whispers that you are not one,
That I should get away and run.

Turn back before I am left with nothing
or continue the free fall of uncertainty
My soul constantly screams for liberty,
at your mercy, I refuse to be.
Just a thought to liberate my mind.
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