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ratgirl Oct 2014
It's weird how such a short normality
Can leave you in a haze.
It's weird how just one short idea
Can make you want to run away and never come back
It's weird how such an impossible thing
Can feel so real
It's weird how such a great time
Can be gone in a opening of an eye
Memories or no memories
Dream or nightmare
It gives me us a chance to be anything but us in world of anything but our own.
ratgirl Apr 2023
Evil, sick and twisted boys.
If you like me, if you love me,
Then why do you want to hurt me?

Is my pain release for you?
Can you only feel the ecstasy of intimacy
With your hands so forceful on my neck,
Or with teeth deep in my flesh,
Until I'm sure I'm ripped apart.

Hold my hands behind my back,
Keep them tight above my head
So I won't push away when it hurts.
I'm someone's daughter,
I'm taking it like a good little ****.

Can you tell that I like it?
I worked really ******* it all for you!
And when you touch me so harshly,
The parts of me you like so fondly
Will never again feel quite right for me.

Is it okay to mutilate me?
Must I sacrifice such sacred parts,
And call sweet blessed love a surrender
Of everything that makes me sweet,
Of what's required to be complete.

I write these words on my jean pocket
And carry them around like an omen,
Boy's wont want to touch me then.
ratgirl Oct 2014
Shadows settle on the place, that you left.
Our minds are troubled by the emptiness.
Destroy the middle, it's a waste of time.
From the perfect start to the finish line.

And if you're still breathing, you're the lucky ones.
'Cause most of us are heaving through corrupted lungs.
Setting fire to our insides for fun
Collecting names of the lovers that went wrong
The lovers that went wrong.

We are the reckless,
We are the wild youth
Chasing visions of our futures
One day we'll reveal the truth
That one will die before he gets there.

And if you're still bleeding, you're the lucky ones.
'Cause most of our feelings, they are dead and they are gone.
We're setting fire to our insides for fun.
Collecting pictures from a flood that wrecked our home,
It was a flood that wrecked this home.

And you caused it,
And you caused it,
And you caused it

Well I've lost it all, I'm just a silhouette,
I'm a lifeless face that you'll soon forget,
And my eyes are damp from the words you left,
Ringing in my head, when you broke my chest.
Ringing in my head, when you broke my chest.

And if you're in love, then you are the lucky one,
'Cause most of us are bitter over someone.
Setting fire to our insides for fun,
To distract our hearts from ever missing them.
But I'm forever missing him.

And you caused it,
And you caused it,
And you caused it
NOT MINE.
Not filled with much inspiration today but I'm totally in love with these lyrics so thought I would share them. You should totally listen to the song too.
ratgirl Oct 2014
We think we're alone,
But we only have to look around,
And we're just like everyone else.

Typical, sad teenagers,
Aware it's generic yet it feels so personal,
Driving our insecurities more and more.

And I don't know which would be worse,
To be so alone,
Or to mean nothing at all.
ratgirl Oct 2014
I have spent hours contemplating the right way to express the things in my mind.

But no combination of 26 different letters can even begin to explain what this is.

No form of imagery can show the world the things that I see in my head.

No similes or metaphors can bring people to tears like my own thoughts do to me.

No adjective can describe the voices I hear, telling me I'm worthless and insignificant.

And even if I could extract my thoughts and play them like a movie, no one would see it the way I do.

No one would see them like their own, and interpret them like I do.

It's all up there, created by me, but someone ******* hacked my brain and put a password on it,

For when I try and scream out for help, or when I try and write it all down, I keep stopping, and overthinking, and start worrying that it's not right.

Whether I want people to see the things I see in my head,

Whether I want them to be brought to tears,

Whether I want them to hear the voices,

Because If I were them, I wouldn't.
Not a new one of mine but I thought I would upload it anyways
ratgirl Nov 2014
Love *****,
Because the only person I want to talk to is you,
And the only person I'm not talking to,
Is you.
ratgirl Nov 2014
Love *****,
Because when I looked,
You were already looking,
And that hasn't left my mind all day.
ratgirl Dec 2014
Love *****,
Because I thought I'd finally moved on,
Until I saw your name appear on my screen.
I could've sworn my heart skipped a beat.
ratgirl Oct 2014
This world is a twisted haven,
Made for the beautiful and the blind.
But dear we all know I'm not beautiful,
And oh how I wish I didn't mind.

No matter how much I hate to hear it,
This world just was not made for me.
But who am I to proudly name,
This unfair, corrupted society.

Maybe I'm just not meant to be,
Maybe I'm the poisoned one.
Maybe one day I'll face this pain.
Maybe one day,
I'll finally be gone.
ratgirl May 2017
I think my emotions have gripped me enough,
My heart can only beat so slow.
The fear has made me an incomparable waste,
The kind I wish I didn't know.

My fear to fail, my worry to rise,
The final fall out of line
Has shook my bones, I don't want to feel alone,
I want to try to be fine.

I'm scared I'll fail, I'm scared you'll laugh,
But isn't that what's wrong?
These moments wont last forever,
Why haven't I realised, I wont last forever,
It's time for this chapter to be gone.
ratgirl Feb 2022
Crouching tiger, hidden dragon
Fill my empty bones with passion
I was never born a lion
But there is fighting in the shadows
With unpredictable strength
It follows

Behind the rock, my giant roots
To serve as sturdy ground through fire
I was never born an eagle
But there is pride beneath smaller wings
With unquestionable force
It sings
ratgirl Feb 2022
To be loved, what a wonderful thing,
Your nails digging your roots into my head,
Infected me with your perspective

It's nothing quite like what you see,
Make you happy while I weep into squalor;
This collar will not make me stronger

Stranger ideals have once taken place,
But in my face you'll read the triumph of lies,
Lionize me and you'll waste the wine
ratgirl Oct 2014
I want your ******* stupid sense of humour
making me laugh at 5am
When I have to be up at six.
ratgirl Nov 2014
I am me. I am the girl crying on the bathroom floor wishing she never existed. I am the boring sister, the unwanted daughter, and the distant friend. I am the bitter insults from my mothers mouth. I am the guilt from my chest when I bite back too hard. I am the music I rely on to survive. I am the dull foggy days and the long lonely nights I love so much. I am the one no one can hate and the one no one can love. I am the the broken but the not broken enough. I am the tangled collection of thoughts, weaving through one another in my mess of a mind. I am the hopeless future, I am the high expectancies. I am the too-pretty-to-be-ugly and the too-ugly-to-be-pretty. I am the 3am figure stuck to the couch. I am the weight in my chest. I am the hard mornings. I am the restless nights. I am the lost humour, the lost smiles, the lost joy. I am the lost cause.
ratgirl Oct 2014
There's nothing left of me now.
I don't know what I've become.
I don't know if it's good,
I don't know if it's bad,
but I know I want to go back.

I want to feel young again.
Young enough to feel alive,
young enough to have a colourful mind,
and a heart full of ambition.
A time when nothing's ever enough.

— The End —