You were somebody to me,
You always have been and you always will be.
Perfect or not,
I'll always love you
For you loved me so.

It's hard to live with
Guilt
Fear
Remorse
Regret
Etc.

It's easy to live with
Happiness
Ease
Joy
Excitement
Etc.

It's nearly impossible to live with nothing.

We live to feel loved and when we don't we feel sad,
But what happens when saddens becomes all to familiar?
What happens when we become empty?
I'm trying to figure it out as I try to fill myself with other peoples happiness.

I want a significant other because I want to go on dates and kiss and love!
But I'm lying.
I just want someone to be with me so I don't have to feel so sorry about myself.

I feel so empty.
I feel alone.
I feel numb.

If I'm empty how can I feel numb and alone?
Sad and depressed?

Then I ask myself how can an empty jar be filled with air?

Is it empty?
Am I empty?

I don't get it.

None of this matters.

Thoughts through my head as I lay in bed,
Waiting to be dead?

Thats not right.
Though who am I to say that?

In reality I'm just a jar, a vessel,
Waiting to be filled with something.

I know I will be dead so I'm not really waiting to die.
I'm waiting to be filled.

Fill me?

Please?..

I'm dying...

I lost you.
I really ******* lost you
You liked me and I liked you.
I then yelled and fought with you.
My mistake I cannot take back.
And now you're changed,
Forever, it's sad.
Sad to know we could have been.
Sad to know that we did-n't.
Sad to know it was all my fault.
Watching you fall because of shout.
A shout that meant more than a scream
More to you than it did to me.
1 year later it's hard to see,
The person you grew up to be.
It could have been different if I had acted
Differently upon my actions.
But I didn't.
1 year later and it's hard to see,
I've become
My own worst enemy.

I prefer the night,
Dark over light.
Nobody else in sight.
But I can say I wish I was accompanied.
By something other then my thoughts.
Some one to share them with,
So to talk to.
Somebody I can kiss or be close to.
I need a soul beside mine,
To keep me company
3:49(AM)

People surround me,
Left
And
Right.
People I know,
People I don't.
Nobody is significant until they interact?
And even at that it should not be correct.
People have issues, people are happy.
People live their lives good or not.
Then they die with only significance to leave behind.
But they didn't interact with me,
So I don't care.

Why?

It's 3:43(AM) obviously.
I'm in bed waiting to sleep.
Curiously thinking what to dream,
As reality slips from the restricting seams.
It seems the seams keep me to dream,
As I develop serenity.
Peace of mind is all I need,
I hope I get enough sleep.

I think I can write poetry
But I do not know it, see
The words just flow through me in vein,
Different phrases, different sayings.
I do not always understand what they mean,
But I guess that defines poetry.