•run•

I'm writing on this water-stained page
to tell you how much I've missed you
since you've been away.
And I hope you know:
I wish I could have stayed.
But baby,
you never even met me halfway.

You've got a lot of nerve
to keep coming back;
things were going fine
as they were,
And then
Just like that -
you come running
and say you miss me, too.

**** you.
You must know
there's nothing I wouldn't do.

But honey,
you're no good for me,
you never were;
I guess we jumped the gun.

I'm better than what we've done -
And now it's my turn
to run.

Yours were the arms that held me
on the very first day I was born.
Looking back at pictures,
I can tell how much you truly adored
the little babies that commanded your attention
on that frigid November day.

You held our hands as we took our first steps,
and you held us when we cried.
You laughed when we’d take little stumbles;
you’d put soap in our mouths when we lied.
But your love for us remained,
Unwavering —
Nothing could take it away.

Before you knew it,
You were watching us walk across the stage;
both high school and college flew by.
You attended every single ceremony;
we were never left asking, “why.”
You have remained our utmost support system -
you’ve always made it all okay.

Through tough love & your strength,
you raised us the best way you knew how;
we’re quickly growing into young women -
Grammy would smile to see us now.
She would be so proud of you;
she’d laugh and shed a tear.
“Mare,” she’d say, “Look at your beautiful babies..
My god, it’s been so many years.”
She’d leave you with a slight kiss on the forehead;
you’d turn around and she’d be gone.
“A dream,” you’d think,
but she’s always here with us,
though it feels like it’s been so long.

Momma, I’m sorry;
I know that we fight.
I think that you’re wrong;
you know that you’re right.
our personalities may be
like day and like night…
but I am you, and you are me.
I promise I’m not blind to see
that for us, you have risked everything -
     for us, you have done everything -
     for us, you are everything.

I’ll sign off here; it’s time to go.
But in your heart,
please always know:
You are the absolute best mother
& Momma, I love you so.

Happy Birthday.

I needed you to run through my veins
the same way my blood
rushes through them
breathing you in
when I want you out.
You were my drug
and I injected you any chance
I got;
craving the high
your voice would give me
and the euphoria I'd feel
filling up my chest
every time
I heard you laugh.
**That ******* perfect laugh.

I've been holding on so tightly
to something that's never been mine
that it took me this long to realize





I was the one you left behind.
<<--------<

Oftentimes I find myself
staring at the sky,
drifting away
on clouds
and daydreaming of
your cerulean eyes.

I get lost in the memories,
and find myself in a daze.
Reality often seems futile
when I'm adrift
in this lustful haze.

My heart is
broken and bruised;
I know you want me too,
but how will I ever find you
while we're lost
in this maze.

And how am I supposed to stop missing you
when the cerulean sky
is consistently reminding me
of your cerulean eyes
and the bittersweet memories
that we held on
beautiful, nostalgic days.

I was in sixth grade.
I was sitting at the lunch table with my friends, just talking amongst ourselves.
It seemed to be just like any other day,
until I heard student after student being called to the office for "early dismissal."
My sister and I, and my best friend were three of the very few who did not get dismissed that day.
What happened between then and when I got home is a blur.
I can remember
not knowing what was going on;
I can remember
being so confused;
I can remember
the tears in my mother's eyes
as she watched the news.
I can very, very clearly remember
watching the T.V. that night after dinner,
and feeling an overwhelming sense
Of loss.

I was ten years old,
but I can remember
tragically watching our buildings burn.
I remember
seeing people jumping out of buildings
and falling to their deaths.
I remember
the clouds of smoke
that hung so heavy in the air
and that you could barely see anything
but rubble
and turmoil
and death.

But it was that day
at such a young age,
I would learn:
We are
The United States of America
and we proved
on that day
That "United We Stand"
is not just a phrase
that our country
throws around lightly.

The men and women
that were at Ground Zero that day
and the months that would follow
will forever remain
Unsung Heroes
in the hearts of every single American
that was alive on
September 11th, 2001,
and the generations to come
forever.

*Where were you, when the world stopped turning?

I miss you most
when I'm lying in bed
and I roll over
to find you
anywhere
but next to me.

My arms are empty,
but my heart
is so full.

I see you
when I close my eyes
and in
the corners of my mind
but it has been
quite a while
since I have seen you
in front of me
and been able
to touch you,
to feel you,
to hold you.

I want to memorize
the look in your eyes
when you're happiest
and kiss your tears away
when you cry.
And I want to see
the anger in your face
when you're mad at me
so I can let you be,
and then laugh
and tell you to
come here, baby,
come and
let me hold you.

Just let me look at you
so I can forever remember
the sparkle in your eyes
and the gentle curl
of that smile
that keeps me
always, always, always
coming back.

**I am constantly missing you
but I suppose I always will.