Promised a life of sweetness
Said you wanted to take care
Feel better feel better feel better

For worse.

My soul says no to you

But body
she begs me
Always for more

I'm sick
I'm Tired

Of shoveling you in
putting you inside me
betraying all that I am

I am finished decaying
But sweet tooth wont stop panging
Oh, how desperate
always
for more

And I see that coat of yours fall to the floor... just a story the tongue
told to open a door

Now I find holes in my heart,
Cavities.
Galore

You frown at the way I can drink whiskey without flinching. and every time I tell you. honey. I don't drink alcohol for the taste. If I did. I would have the taste of your smile down my throat every night. I would have every memory of us bottled. And I would drink them whenever you were gone. Which lately is a lot. so lately I drink more. the warmth of the whiskey when it hits my insides reminds of the first couple months with you. When you were sure. When we were good. When I was enough. Now I can't drink enough. Now we don't talk enough. Now is different. The only time I feel you. The real you. Is with my clothes on the floor. You get your fix. I'll get mine. I'll **** the stress out of you. And I'll drink the sadness out of me. The sadness you fill me with with how empty you leave me. I'm addicted to this whiskey. And to the way your hands grip my throat.

Sometimes I cry so hard
A thunderstorm erupts in my rib cage
And my hands tremble like beach houses
In the path of a tsunami
But thinking of your eyes
Helps me escort oxygen to my lungs
And hold a paint brush instead
Of strangling the sheets of my bed
As if my tears will create a waterfall
Sweeping me away from you and
My pillowcase is wondering why I haven't screamed into it
In about a month or so
But I found reconcile in how your freckles
Resemble stars in the sky
And I've been trying to tell you
If you need the galaxy rearranged
I will do that
every single time the moon says hello,
I can promise you I can make the sun play hide and seek for as long as you'd like
If it means I can see the creases being created
By your smile again

I'm either clinging to you
Like velcro
Or farther away sitting next to you
Than if I were on the other side of the planet.

I'm either rambling on
About nothing but also everything
Or I don't utter a single word
Sitting in the background chewing my fingers.

I either want you to know me,
My every thought and whim
Or to know absolutely nothing of me
Like I nevee even existed.

I'm all in
Or you never really had me.

You are either god
Or you are the devil.

There is nothing in between.

I never really grasped what grey meant.

I will not adult today,
I will go out and play,
To my Pokemon and Legos I will say,
"It is for building and battles I deem this day."

Outside in the wind my hair will sway
And stress will not, my nerves, fray.

I will not adult today,
Imaginary monsters will I slay.
A pile of candy I will have on a tray,
Only blue skies I see, no clouds of grey.

For peace of mind I need not pray,
Today is mine and mine to do as I may.

What's that? The phone rings in my way,
It's my boss, he has something to say...
Off to work I go, I guess I will adult today.
Tomorrow I promise to do nothing but play.