Now I understand
The sand crawling through our toes
with this land of grain and wonder
and the endless aquatic temple thats
too deep to enter
The smoke blurs my vision
It dresses my eyes with your beauty
Land of craziness
Land of wind and sails
The Palm trees waving around
The Palms of our hands never letting go
I’m not in love with you
I’m in love with the feeling
I’m in love with the atmosphere
The way you dress my eyes
We just met, but my mind stomps around with ideas
Ideas of beaches, love, hands,
everything that shows happiness and fondness
Driving down beverly hills with the sun setting
in the background of an awe inspiring painting
Lips, skin, life, death,
2 weeks of happiness
before I go
The sun can set as long as we can stay here
The sun can go anywhere it wants, I will find you again
So the sun can finally, get up from its hibernation
and be back in the sky.

You used to like the word **** until it was screamed at you with sheer malice
You used to like green tea until a mug of it was thrown at you and it shattered against the wall
You used to like smoking until a cigarette scorched your skin
You used to like letters until one was never sent back
You used to like adventures until you got lost
You used to love me
You used to

If I had one last breath to breathe
I'd use it to say I love you
If I had one last sight to see
I'd make sure it was your smile
If I had one last sound to hear
I'd want it to be you telling me you love me
If I had one thing left on earth to taste
I'd want it to be your lips
If I had one thing left in the world to touch....
I'd want to die in your arms...

I drank the bottle of ***** with hopes that it might erase you from my mind.
I burned the things you gave me hoping nothing would remind me that you existed.
I wrote you 3 pages of how I felt hoping it might bring me peace.
But none of them worked.
I still remember your face, how your cheek bones are perfectly shaped.
I was addicted to you, God, How you made me feel.
You're still in my mind rushing through my veins.
I can still remember the way you felt, your skin against mine.
You said I was your world but ****** you were my galaxy.
Nothing but sadness consumes me now,
dead flowers and butterflies lay in my stomach.
You killed them the day you started doing what you did.

I ***** apologies faster than the word **** can escape your lips after you stub your toes on the concrete ground / I jump to conclusions, or excuses, or explanations, or whatever, almost as quickly as you can sputter out your endless pathetic promises during those stupid walks on the beach / I can shut myself down emotionally in about as much time as it takes you to say that we're "just friends" after I throw my raw, pulsing heart onto the same **** cutting board we used to make sushi when I asked you if you liked me.

I don't hate you because you broke my heart not once, but twice, but because you lie straight to my face and tell me you don't get butterflies when we kiss at 3am too.