Sometimes, when the air gets too cold between my lips, I bury them into the palms of my hands. And sometimes when I forget I am not alone, I begin to let go and let go and let go. My body begins to echo across the rocky walls of my world. Bashing and clashing back and forth. A blodied body begging for more, no safe word in this unkept, ruthless condition I have brought upon myself. I lay here on stone, on rocks shaped like shark fins breaking through skin. I begin to end.
There is someone who appears uninvited. I ask this stranger to leave, but my leaves turn to pleads of please don't leave me now, dear. Fall down, follow me. We are pebbles being split apart by a child's amusement of hearing the echos and seeing the ripples at the bottom of a well. Well, here we are drowning together...oh, she has not let go of you yet. I drown alone. And you enjoy a life worth living. This is fair.
I find the best way to hurt is to inhale this precious air and dunk my head in a bathtub still filling up. and I can hear the waterfall I wish to be under as my ears go under as well, as my tears dissipate.