She is a natural disaster
confused and misunderstood
waiting on the promise you made
to help clear up
the hurricanes, tsunamis,
forest fires, the floods,
the self doubt, the grief,
the regrets, the 'shoulds'.
she is a natural disaster.
and you promised you'd be there after
to pick up the debris and aftermath,
to sweep away, the damage, the ash,
to help her dig amongst the rubble
and find and rediscover her smile, her laugh
to help her decipher between the
good and the trash
to help her crumble and then reconstruct
to help her rebuild
stronger foundations
than those laid
in her childhood.

Close your legs,
Little *****,
You are a destination,
Not simply a door.
All your friends will know now,
And each one will judge you so,
You know what will happen,
You've gone through this before,
Silly, slutty, little girl,
When will you learn?
You are a destination not a door.

You promised me forever,
Then so quickly,
You took it away.

You breathed your life into me,
Resuscitated me,
Saved me every single day.

And now you have gone,
You took it and,
Stripped it all away.

How cruel you are,
To try,
And play God.

How dare you tell me
I am not allowed to feel as if
I want my life to end,
When you used to come to me,
With your words screaming the pain
and longing for your own death
Because of the things which she did to you.
How dare you say I cannot want
To hurt myself,
When you have told me
I had caused some of the scars
On your wrist.

I.

The happiest day—the happiest hour
    My seared and blighted heart hath known,
  The highest hope of pride and power,
    I feel hath flown.


II.

Of power! said I? Yes! such I ween
    But they have vanished long, alas!
  The visions of my youth have been—
    But let them pass.


III.

And pride, what have I now with thee?
    Another brow may ev’n inherit
  The venom thou hast poured on me—
    Be still my spirit!


IV.

The happiest day—the happiest hour
    Mine eyes shall see—have ever seen
  The brightest glance of pride and power
    I feel have been:


V.

But were that hope of pride and power
    Now offered with the pain
  Ev’n then I felt—that brightest hour
    I would not live again:

VI.

For on its wing was dark alloy
    And as it fluttered—fell
  An essence—powerful to destroy
    A soul that knew it well.

You promised me the world,
Then left to go find your own.

I remember I used to be asked by you,
All the time,
"Are you okay?"
And I would say,
"I'm fine."
You would look at me,
With this steady gaze in your,
Storm eyes,
And say,
"I didn't ask if you were fine,
I asked if you were okay."
And now every time I am upset,
You sternly say,
"You're fine."
And I think there is deep
Irony in that.