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 Mar 2016 Allison
Beth Taylor
Sometimes the words I love you swarm like hornets behind my teeth, a phrase so heavy it only has eight letters just like I lost you.
Sometimes in the pause you take before you speak, I wonder if you’re fighting to keep down the same things as I am; trying to swallow a confession that seems less like a secret and more like stating the obvious.
We were funny, we were bad at holding hands, I hated when a car goes over the tracks, you had this way of making silence the loudest sound in the room when it hit the floor.
I made a home out of your hands just like how many beautiful things go without reciprocation.
We seem to have found fault in being whole, somewhere alone the way, we’ve started enjoying breaking things;
Like my ribs when you’re gone and I want to know if you can tell the difference between the absence of my voice and silence.
You are the only thing I’ve ever let go that makes my hands ache.
I’m still trying to piece together what made you lose your faith in me, was it how everything starts with gritting teeth and everything ends with you walking away? I should’ve known, the way you used to hold my back like you were checking it for exit wounds.
It took me 2 car wrecks and 6 shattered mirrors for me to realize that the world has so much more to say when it is silent;
if I didn’t bruise so easily, if I wasn’t looking for a way to be made of a river, if I needed the silence to mean something, then I would ask you to build me out of quiet revenge and goodbyes that stick in your sides like tree branches, I would need you to build me out of reasons to believe instead of reasons to be afraid, I would turn my kneecaps into strawberries in exchange for potter’s hands so I could mild you a bulletproof spirit.
It was silence and your lighter, I was cold, you were drinking; that was our backbone.
You were alone, I was going too fast because sometimes you don’t have to be in the wrong place to be looking for the wrong thing.
I am afraid and you are warm; this is the beginning of a forest fire filled with broken glass shattering in broken homes with broken people inside on a broken piece of land in a city that has too much rain for someone to build an emergency room in.
I spend nights up until my body can’t handle itself any longer,
mornings have come like a hammer to my head-
instead of my face, all I can see in the mirror is an unfamiliar expression,
something like a dead battery.
All I ever wanted was for you to be my fire, I am tired of these old lives and would like to see them burn.
He Left.
 Oct 2015 Allison
Victoria Ruth
I’m writing you this
With liquor on my lips
Wide eyes, hands shaking
Down to my fingertips

You won’t read any further
I’ve already accepted that,
Maybe your mind will change
Once you see your tires flat

I don’t mean to play *****
But I’ve got a bleeding heart
Your twisted lies were enough
To tear what’s left of me apart

You “never meant to hurt me”
It’s all you continued to say
“Don’t leave again” I’d reply
Though I knew you’d run away

I saw galaxies in your eyes
God I wish you believed I cared
Now you’ve gone to better things
And I’m the one left impaired

You see you were like the moon
Going through these phases
Always changing your opinion
Like it was hidden in mazes

I’m done looking for a solution
When it’s clear I won’t find one
But why can’t you look me in
The eyes and tell me we’re done?

You meant everything to me
And I tried hard to save you
I knew you were depressed,
Nothing we couldn’t work through

I love you and your blue eyes
Your stories and the laughs
But I guess you’re right my dear
It’s time we go our separate paths
I will always remember how you tasted of mint and cigarettes
 Sep 2015 Allison
 Sep 2015 Allison
i miss you like
the sun to the earth

i think your light forgot me
somewhere past mercury

and that's okay -
if you get too close
i'll burn
Nothing lasts forever.
Everything in this world is temporary.

We are living proof of this.
 Jun 2015 Allison
Alice Baker
 Jun 2015 Allison
Alice Baker
I understand you don't want me to go That's fine.
But I can't watch you dig through your car
For money for tonight's numbing.
You can't call me names
And still call me your daughter
And just because you offer me a cold one
Doesn't mean I'm playing your game.
I tried to give you a chance to prove
That your words were worth an ounce of truth
You may have been sober for months
But it's been two weeks of slurred speech
And several days of you
Not leaving that door
For anything more than a bottle.
Why the **** would I want to stay?
You keep saying that
No one here will hurt me
Too late dad, you've made your mark
In the form of six packs and cruel words.
I was better off without you for 10 years.
You have never been daddy.
This is not a poem at all. I'm just upset and can't find pretty ways to say why
 Jun 2015 Allison
maybe if we could
let this go
we'd be fine
 Jun 2015 Allison
Being with you is not enough.
 May 2015 Allison
Lecia Alane
Lying awake in my arms,
but she's dreaming of another place.
There's nothing I can do or say to make her stay here with me in this moment.
And against my better judgment, I hold her closer,
trying to keep her here for a little longer.

You're no good for me, I keep this on repeat.
A litany to help me keep you at arms length,
a lifeline to pull me out of the depths of your eyes,
and a self-reminder not to fall for your sirens call or lies.

No, You're no good for me.

Her lips, they whisper silken lies, I wish I could believe.
But I can see them in her eyes,
I can feel them in her touch.
Her willfully deceitful lies that tell me that I'm enough.

I wish I didn't know that you're no good for me.

I can tell myself the same things all day long,
But I'll keep wishing she were here while she wishes she was gone
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