People fall in love
To feel alive.

But you,
You were my early death.


-- Eleanor

Love poem
Never read
In a letter
Never sent.

Self-inflicted torment.


-- Eleanor

as fragile
as a songbird -

her hands

knotted and spotted
from many winters


november came one last time -
i held her hands in mine - gently

- gently, she flew away
to where songbirds go
when it's cold in the mountains.

r ~ 11/18/14

you called
me so many
names i could
barely keep track
but i did and i can't
help but wonder how
i let you hurt me so often
or how i managed to stay sane

this path i wrote
wrought with missed
twists and turns and trip
wires made of pit vipers
camouflaged in ******
stripes the color of bumble
bees that make me sneeze
humbly god help me please
i hear foot steps quietly
lightly on the trail behind me.

r ~ 11/15/14

She smells like marmalade
and Christmas trees.
She cuts her heart
where she places her knees.
She smokes in the park,
under the skating skies.
She makes me upset
and sometimes I make her cry.

Over in the dark,
she plays in the snow.
And if she feels cold,
I touch her chest
but I don't know.

Bask in the bark:
our names on a tree.
Carved with the knife
that she swung at me.

She says she's drowning in my ocean,
but I feel no emotion.

Her words suggest our bond
is as strong as a noose.
But she only loved me
when I was something to lose.

Hey I have an idea~

Lets destroy ourself and see who gives   a ****. With each passing breath I go deeper. Deeper into the thought that tomorrow doesn't exist. Because it doesn't. Why not see what happens in this moment.

All they come for is the lights. Flashing endlessly.

Overwhelming I stare at the sidewalk. A jab of pain hits my stomach. It's like the billboards  are killing me.


Because they are.

Let's get this straight
I'm not a toy
I'm the girl
You're the boy
We work together as a team
Not you by yourself
You and me
I've gone through this
Too many times
I refuse to take
Anymore lies
So man the **** up
And grow some *****
Maybe the bigger you are
The harder you'll fall
In love with me
With the slight chance that exists
We will be fine
If you don't know that yet