I believe in the Sun even when it isn’t shining
I believe in Love even when I am alone
I believe in Happiness even when the world is crying
I believe in the Lord even when it seems I’m on my own
I believe in tomorrow even when I feel like tonight will never end
I believe in all these things because they always come back again
For every dark night, there’s an even brighter day
For every hollow path is a more fulfilling way
In every dark cloud, you can find a silver lining
So I keep my faith, and my faith keeps me grinding
Against the icy metal, like the rose that grew
From concrete, with its scratched and hardened petals
When no one in the world was here to love me
I held my head to the sky above me
And I was happy because I kept my faith

Some nights,
Am the fallen star,
with too many wishes
hanging upon it.

Some days,
am the wilted flower,
which has seen too many winters
and too few springs.

Mostly I am the invisible presence
that never quite learnt to show itself.
I have watched too many people
and know too well the bitter scent of pretence in the air.

They will pretend to,
see you,
know you,
love you.

Only for them to,
hurt you,
leave you,
**** you

Life is a party some said
but no one warned me
against uninvited  Guest.

Those silly songs;
so sad but true
With lost feelings
of me and you

I played it on
with the tape's side A
Felt like blossoms of dawn
and flowers of May

I flipped the tape
Found side B's empty
The same thing I get
Every time you look at me

"You'll get over this."
You once confided
That's what our love is;
Too one-sided

I look at my brother
I look at my sister
She looks so much like you
And he looks like her
I wonder what you see in me
Do I have her nose
She says I have your hands

I’m sorry it’s been ten years
And I still ***** dance
With this ***** sprite
When I take these xans

Some times I think you ran
Because you looked at the
Drugs in my hands
That she says look just like yours
And couldn’t face the pain

Knowing we share the same veins
I just hope you don’t think you
Failed
And I hope to God
That you don’t look at me
And feel
That all your efforts
Were to no avail

Yeah, as you can tell
I still blame myself

But
I look at my brother
I look at my sister
And I couldn’t picture
Leaving their mother’s side
Then still trying to attempt
To call them mine

I know I sound selfish
But you married another
And called her child your son
All the while

I wonder what it was I did
Or didn’t do enough
To no longer remain the glue
That kept you at her side
After all this time

What hurts the most
Is you were able
To call my mom your wife
For twenty years of my life
Yet only nine for my brother

He didn’t deserve to feel alone
**** what I feel
You left my little brother alone

I remember the nights
You never came home
And found a reason
To tell yourself
You couldn’t answer the phone

Those were the mornings
I watched Adventure Time
With my brother
In our living room
When it should have been you

Those were the days
I prayed
He would never have to grow up
Without his father at his side
Even though you tell yourself
It’s enough that
You’re “only one hour away”

I know
You both were young
And I don’t believe
That either of you
Every truly found love
Within the arms
Of each other

I know
You only stayed together
So long
Because I was the first
Child you had
And so for her

You wanted me to be happy
And I still hope one day
You discover what that word means

I remember it
I still see it in my dreams
I think I saw it on your face
That day you tried to teach me
How to throw a baseball
Back when we both were young

I never could quite catch
Time and make it last
Like a butterfly
The effect caused me to crash

But I know
You tried your best
To be happy
To smile when you didn’t want to
And I thank you
Dad

But I look at my mother
And my eyes swell up with hate
Only because you couldn’t see
What I do in her
Any longer

I know
I was your first born child
And my first smile
Was the first time
You saw hers in a while
In something other than
Your memories

I hope you never forget that moment
But you broke
My family into two

Two Thanksgivings
Two Christmas’s
Two birthday gifts at a time
When we only ever needed one

She wants to be with you,
but she enjoys being alone

She doesn't want you to latch on her,
but she hates it when you talk to somebody else

She wants you to trust her,
Yet she cant tell her secrets

She only wants to be understood,
but she is clueless of herself

Everything will be okay, she yelled
It is messed up, she whispered.

What if
          I
                                                  ­Fall
In
              Love
With
      A
       Poet?
What if he mesmerises me
       With his lines?
What if
        His words touch me
        And kiss
           Through my skin?
     What if i search for
Him
Everyday
And
      Travel through
              His words
    And meet him
                  Somewhere
       And
We
       Become bare
          And he caresses
Me
          With every
      Stanza
And
       Here
           I am
                Again
Searching
           For him,
    Wanting
Him
        With
                 All
                      Desire
Waiting
             For
                 His
                   Next
                      Poem
                         To
                            Take
                             ­ Me
                          To
                       His
                   World
                Where
             We
          Will
        Lay
      Bare
   What if
               I
                  Fall in love
                      With
                  A
             ­         Poet?

© Evna-Luna

anonymous winds
bend tall Timothy grasses,
wake rabbits napping
in the brush

they ripple the surface
of the stock tanks, tickle the haunches
of the beasts who wade there
to slurp the tepid waters

they birth red dust devils
for my eyes to follow, as they scud
through mesquite, and hopscotch over canyons
older than time

one day, soon, they will blow
over a shallow earth bed; I will not hear
their sibilant song, but my sleep will be deep,
unperturbed by their mystic music