I tried to run from you
but then i remembered
you'll be the one to die first.

off the walk of earth
I realized that
nick any negativity right in the ****

Don't frown angel
The skies are clouding
The thunder growling
But we'll keep smiling
Knowing the world is dying

Everyone dies
Love dies
People die
Animals die
Friendship dies
The wealthy get poor
The rivers dissolve
The sun hides
You know what never dies?
The beauty of living while we can
When the world tells us we can't

A long time ago I'd look to the sky through vibrant colorful kitten-petting electro bumping lens, the *** was more rich than gold, many shades of greens, aroma more potent than pine herself, and sticky that bud, eyes glowing red,  blazing all through the night, with no care in sight, nostrils tickled for snow in summer, anything,  so I wouldn't remember,
and I'd find it,  you bet id find it, I'd rail every last track in town until the trains collided and my world fell down, I awoke the day you kicked me out, but now looking back, I'm glad you did.

Do as I say
Never as I do

Sometimes we just know
We know what makes the heart float
When everything seems like sinking water
It's a life line
A healthy line
The help you can search a life time for
But
Confidence
Confidence in self
Is not something you can be taught
It's felt through the heart
But getting there
Us like climbing the great Wall
Of china
It's weak in the knees
For life's greatest offering
It's feeling
Like you matter
But also going at a pace comfortable to you
People can't be pushed
We can be molded
But a mold is just mold
And it eventually comes crumbling down
But let me tell you
You'll run laps around your heart
But you've always known
Right from. The start!

We are flesh-eating zombies living on plagued planets

I don't see the sunset with the pink and purple hues blending together like cake batter before you lick the spoon I see castles millions of them spread out so far stars in the galaxy would be jealous of the distance ... distance yes distance something we need more of.. something I need more of... I am not some deep sea mermaid you can just use when ever you please or show me off like a trophy on your tv stand. I am more. So much more. Give me a chance to sink even if you know I can't swim. Please.

Cancer is cruel

If you could
Hold onto love you would squeeze it
Suffocate it
'til it's capillaries are bursting
Pretty blues and purples would rise
Coating the reds and oranges that we're used to
Ud grab it by the neck carelessly
Sink your teeth into it
With no second thoughts
Your heart would be racing
And the passion
spot on
Legs vibrating from excitement
' not wrong !
Not wrong until the birds stop their song
And the bees stop their buzzing
The silence grows long
And the love is just gone

"How to love people and use things instead of using people and loving things"

your past dont define you,
but your @$$
might

Rain pours down my window
Thick streams
Wash away the ugly
(And pretty)
Of the world


A drum beat starts
And thunder deafens
my ear drums
Mother nature sits grinning
Ear to ear 
In her palace
Ready to pounce
Like a cat
At any chance
The fate of our world
Rests in her hands
Worms are smeared along the side walk
Their demise a modern work of art
That no one wants
Guts, intestines and broken hearts
Expel from what's left of their slimy bodies
Exposing all of the good stuff
All of the gross stuff
the blood
The gore
And
Every thing in between

The tides rise
And the people start screaming
Tiny infants stand no chance
Against what once
Kept them alive

Mother nature strikes again
This time
With winds
That pick houses up and throw parked cars
Goldilocks gets abducted from the 3 bears
She wakes up searching
On her hands and knees
For her missing
Glass slipper
While the tin man makes love
To Aladdin
The end

when did we get so old
to enjoy lifes leisure's
The simple pleasure in walking down an unfamiliar path
the simple pleasure in reading a book
To get a laugh
the the simple pleasure in feeling more than just happy or sad

digging into our childhood youth
taking the time to look at picture books a time or two
taking the time to write a short story
or scribble a dog in a note book
fold origami and try to predict our lives
through a little piece of paper
that only seemed to lie

when did we get so old that
a play date
meant ***

that a simple card game
lead to
An axe of respect

when did we get so old
that a drink or two
Meant
twenty two
When did we get do old?

We didnt mature!

We only grew.

The world isn't a battle field
There are no allies
There are bombs
Scars
Wounds
Tombs of the people we once loved
But the world isn't a field for battle

Don't get ******* on little things
Don't throw in the towel
When you were just meant to fold it

Sirens buzz in the busy streets
People cling to unhealthy lives
Unwilling to change
Because change takes time

So they hang from a noose
And wait to be saved

I once was tangled in a web of confusion
Id sit at my desk
Trying to untie the knots in my stomach
Trying to forgive the world for forgetting I exist

I had a voice but only on paper
Could it be heard

One day a magic pill changed this

Or so I thought

Can I chalk up success to a pharmaceutical company?

Override all strengths
That might have lived inside of me?

I don't know
I may never know

All I know is that I can't ***** this up

I ******* this up

you could have me
right here right now
but you hide cowardly
and because once a coward
always a coward
you will never rebound.

I stopped watching television with
Sound
My ears still work
But sometimes my mind takes over
Senses are weird
I like to play with them
Try to make sense of a lack of sense
Do we learn stuff really for the thrill
Or do we learn in anticipation
Of what may or may not
Happen?
This
I haven't yet figured out

If you continuely throw
Glass at stone houses
The stone doesn't break
The glass gets tired

The sun doesn't stop shining when it rains
You shouldn't stop smiling
When you're sad.

I better not crash someone else's car
Or ruin someone else's life
Balance they say
It a learning curve they say
Wiggle your nose
While rubbing your tummy
Im tired of being tired
Of never being good enough
Never pretty enough
Or funny enough
I stutter
Stumble
Bump into stuff
It's a curve now they say
But it's not a learned one

"I saw the sun going down in your eyes with all the lies."

It's creepy to think that in the very few steps you've taken day in and day out,
How many alive and then dead
once walking, now sleeping
Once took those  same very few steps
That we day out and day in
Often take for granted

When people talk does it hurt you too? The stares the glares the smirks the curses cross your heart and stick a needle in your eye not your arm although sometimes blood is beautiful like a river until its running down your legs and you can't seem to stop it

Please stop it
(To be continued..)

Beauty is not dead!
For the leaves of humans
are more than
discarded cigarette butts,
behind the backs of dumpsters,
And on every city bus

Summer blossoms
beyond her will
in synchronized green dances
Until she's full
that project signs
To create vines
of who is the fittest
And who missed their chance

Foilage cascades on every surface
climbers unravel
to observe this
what wonderful weaves
and intricate colors
a tell-tale sign
that

beauty is not dead!

some say the moon is full of illusions
but i've come to learn that isnt all true
The sun
doesn't always fill you with kisses
he throws
darts and arrows
too

as time speeds up
the world slows down

as the world slows down
the people lose hope

when the people lose hope
the music goes quiet

the curtains close
the doves stop flying

the world isnt sleeping
the world is dying.

It's scary to feel alone
But more scary to feel alone
With someone
With friends and family
She's swept under an old rug
Dust particles dance in the wind
And the rhythms dont match
Her clothes neither
Some odd denim jeans
And a torn shirt
She hated new
And embraced the old
Experience and wisdom
Like an owl calling out
From it's perch

us




commander



its a



mistake


                                 are we on the brink


we



                should
throw
                 in

the
t
             owe
l
                                                its
a

                                 m i         stake
mistake
mistake
mistake
                                   interdasting aint it?
this music rick rollin rocks

my only advice to myself,
my only advice to you,
is to shower yourself
with kindness

appreciate yourself
embrace your differences

buy romance novels
if thats what you like to read
dont be ashamed
dont let anyone judge you
for being you

take all the love you had
for that person

all that bottled up
mason jar of
disappointment

and tell that

inconsiderate

heart stabbing

'i'm going to love you forever'

LIAR

that you're busy
taking care of you

focusing on what you want
focusing on the things you need

buying magnets by the dozen
building an empire of grumpy cat
in your bedroom

cause this is your life
and no one elses!

i know you wont understand this
just hear me out,

time is short
but
life is shorter
and in the end
its only you
that will lose
if you dont
act wisely

stop wasting seconds on
short rehearsed paragraphs
from poisonous people
that make it
tough to look away
but even tougher to stay

you deserve better
and trust me
there's always someone better
waiting in the background

**** 2 birds with one stone
Break two hearts
But not grow
Save yourself
But lose hope
Risk your inner sanity
By conforming
To all of humanity
Btw
What is family ?

Artificial like fake?
False?
Imperfect?
Gone mad?
Impartial?

even in the most powerless of times
you have power
to either keep walking
or to walk
right away

Every morning I feed my cats. Little toy soldiers that never wind up (until you pull their tails) They dont march well either. They just eat sleep meow repeat. I'm always saying that they need to lose weight, but maybe I'm the one who needs to lose weight. More off my shoulders and less off my plate.  

Every day I give in to their precious faces. Prancing around in the most angelic of ways. I forget that even angels lose their halos some days. So I feed them. Gnarly minced meat that looks like a drunks *****.  

The phone rings. I'm the type of person that absolutely has to answer. I could be brushing my teeth or doing open heart surgery, and I'd still answer. I'm worse than your granny who picks up to telemarketers. $200 landline bill and a cheeky response of "but it rings" Yes it rings but it doesnt need to be answered. Diamond rings exist but they dont always need to be bought.

Florida called me today. (Yes, the state) They wanted to know if I would test out some skin products but my skin is already a product. I answered the call, in hopes it would be you but it wasnt you, because it never is. Even when it is it isnt because you are never you. (its not like you live in Florida, but maybe you moved?)

You told me about a week ago that you were "emotionally dead inside" What the duck does that even mean? We're all dead inside! You told me you didnt know how to love. Nobody knows how to love, its just something we're supposed to do. If we dont know we just act. Thats why we have actors and actresses.

I'm not good at questioning you because you're about as helpful as those helpless self-help books that i'm supposed to do (but I never do). You always send me mixed signals and but i'm too stupid to read between the lines.

I always fill my glass with too much soda. I always fill my plate with too much turkey and never finish it. Actually, I have this weird thing where I always have to leave the ends of things. The last bite of Thanksgiving dinner or the end of a Candy cane at Christmas (I hate Christmas) But things like that are normal, and if they're not, they're strange things that nobody really cares about! (so stop asking)

Do you ever get intimidated? I mean really backed up against a wall shaking? Not that 1 night stand kind where your boyfriend forgot where he left his boxers and Mr. Moroz gets off from work in half an hour. No, I'm talking scared shitless. You act so tough like nothing phases you. Everybodys afraid of something atleast thats what ive been told. You like serial killer movies, and getting into the minds of them. I like serial killer movies, and getting into the mind of you.

You started a job placement. I was half heartedly happy for you, but sad also cause you'd be busy most of the day. You tell me you never ignore me on purpose but what about that day you left me on read for 3 hours? Anxiously glued to my phone until a blinking light revived me.

Sometimes you calm the storm. You make me feel alive even though you know i'm dying. You tortured me in a way that I liked it. Laying on top of you, your arms stretched around me, until we both fell into a deep slumber. You told me you've never been with a girl but you'd like to. Truthfully, I've never been with one either.

You love showers. You've never actually told me and I'm too afraid to ask. Is it because the water drowns out all other sounds? Or if you're crying nobody seems to notice. Water isnt that pretty to me. Alot of people dig the oceans view, but I just wonder about the fish and see past the bottom-less pit.

You had penne chicken tonight. Chicken is one of my faves too! I like it fried, greasy and deadly. Heart-attack in the making! You once asked me to pronounce something, I think it was **** but maybe i'm mistaken. I didnt know why then, but I do know now. I'll leave that to you to decode. You cant line up lies like numbers unfortunately. Life skills are a bit more complex than equations.

We all have self destructive behavior. We all dislike something about ourselves. After all, theres no perfect body. Theres no perfect brain. We all cope in ways differently, but indirectly that makes us all conclusively the same.

You told me you liked fire and I called you a Pyro. I should have called you a liar but at the time I didnt realize I was the one jumping through flames. You told me you didnt like fire because it got you off, you liked it because its amazing, its pretty, its miraculous. You told me you burned yourself. This should have rose red flags, I should have got goosebumps and took off running. I wasnt scared though, I was intrigued.

Maybe you're a thrill seeker. Maybe in the process of saving the world you forgot to save yourself. But then I re-analyzed the situation. I took a stand point from a birds eye view. You were never trying to dodge the fire. You were the fire and I should have been trying to dodge you.

You asked me what aroused me. I played ping pong and made you answer first. You said Brittany Snow. I wanted to say you at the time and maybe I should have. Maybe I should have held my heart on the line and watched you tie knots then burn it.
Maybe
just maybe

i'd     still
    be
here    today

the wind pushing down an icy street
i dont have to walk
i have two feet

i slide to the rink
my toes are frozen

personality on fleek
im a bit of a freak

rock of ages
blares the speaker

i cant help but think
this is a moment in time

a once in a life time
all that leaves me is memories

the church
the coach
the house
the mouse
the couch
the rink
the time
that sinks

everything gone
just a memory

for me -
a scoop in reality
of something
you cant see

It is easy to lose track of time
When you lose hope
Or interest
In even bothering with it

A tone of someone's voice can speak volumes
But even tones can be changed
With tender, genuine , care!

Maybe some credit
Is far due
In saying
For I've ticked and tocked
And had people walk all over me

I'm still living proof
That I'm not just a goof
I probably can't do maths
My hands shake in class

I talk pretty big
my size is a twig

But understand this

If I go

You'll have zilch.

Grumpy
Grim
Grey
As she walked the tight rope
And jumped off that day

Grief stricken
quickly quickened
when I realize you
watching me
from where ever you are,
I still hurt
no word,
no thought,
no reason why,
but I've realized
that
in my eye
I have given
all I could
to try.

hold on to your opinion,
fight for your vote,
free yourself from self imprisonment,
imprison yourself in selfless things
just dont become selfish
swim with the tide
but dive where the crowd does not
Sleep when the mind wants you to
and live when the timing seems right

I printed off 4 work books of homework
But all the numbers seem to string up wonders in pearls of if maybe I'm just not fit for this world ?

It's too late to go back to sleep but it's too early to be awake

she was the type of person
youd want in your bedroom
the type youd push
against the bedframe
if shed only give you half a chance

the one you wouldnt take to a family dinner
(or for granted)
one **** up
and shed be gone
but
she was never a princess
she was always queen
cause why be depend
when you could dominate
get everything you need
(on a silver platter)
she was the one with the dark side
but could tickle the sun
if need be
the one with the heart of gold
but a twisted mind
the one that could eat you alive
and spit you out for breakfast
shes the one
with the piercing green eyes
the ones that make cats jealous
(and horn dogs)
the ones that leaves danced for
the ones that made snakes wishing they had her
the ones you wished you could settle
but that would only cause trouble

tehehehehehehehe


peter
piper
picked

i like being the victim
but i love being the villain.

. .
. . .
. .. . . . . . .
t..
...e.
.h.e.
e.hehehe

pitter patter
lather lather
im as mad
as you
mr hatter.

Paintings hover like sky surfers
Sparkle in the eyes of art lovers
One abstract
And the other more to the point
Some created impulsively
The others created
With the help
Of a joint

Ones man dirt is another man's gold
Respect your elders
Always do as you are told