The world feels alot less scary with music,
An escape goat
Through the ears and out the mouth
Or fingers
Depending on who you are

my sister is pretty
but mind is prettier.

(;


gotcha

threatened
like a cornered animal
like a fish
like a frog
like a harmless
warthog -
i dont even know anymore
grown adult
acting like a kid
feeling like a child
i once was lied to

once decieved
once a little part of me died
a part of me cried
****** over
curled up
evil was all i trusted
evil was all i lusted
torn
just a ball
covered in scrapes

covered in scrapes of
pain,
bruises
and too many loses

till i realized

people grow
people go
people leave
people see
that life is just a flash
in front of thee
that life is just
a flash
a flash
in front of we

My body is stuck. My limbs refuse to move. My capillaries stopped pumping. My pulse stopped beating.

i  
am
losing.

Follow your heart
It is the compass that leads to
Chocolate
Icecream
Sundaes
Days of sunshine
Days wrapped in fuzzy blankets
Swimming almost ****
******
Sky diving
Diving through space
Finding space with certain people
Boundaries


To be continued..

Driving in circles
Wind in my hair
Cars are minimal on the freeway
A step into freedom
from the high paced
car chase
we're accustomed to live

Write in third person
Like lifes a game
Jokes on you friend
there's only
You to blame

I always fall asleep too early
I always wake back up too late

Monsters are scary in dreams
And nightmares
But you wanna know a secret
I learnt that monsters look mighty cute
Wearing underwear

I used to wake up from scary dreams but now my dreams have become reality
And dreams are the great escape

The grass isn't greener on the other side
That ***** is dead
Dead like the leaves crusting over on the sidewalk
Dead like the heart you don't even bother to acknowledge
I heard you
You know
I listened
You know

The trees cast shadows
Like the dark ones
Chain-linked
to our
Hearts

Music jolts my body
Senses are not senseless
used right.

Love hurts
Hate hurts
More

What are the chances
That if I let you stomp all over my parade
Let it rain on the daily
That you'd
Feel content
Even happy?

when the demons come knocking
the angels keep dancing.

Try to catch me and I'll slip out of your palm
Like ice
Melting,
Try to breathe me in but your nostrils feel blocked
Try to find me online
And I'm invisible like
A ghost
Try to copy me
But I'm just a voice
childlike
Try to get near me
But I'm plastered on every
News paper
Radio and
Internet
Who am I?

it was that moment
when pain conquered health
and she realized
i need help

Is that why we feel the rains
stronger
When we're upset
Do the trees have conversations with the wind about the nature of life
We're always pointing fingers
Blaming eachother
For our problems
Instead of looking inside
All the buildings and highrises
The wealth the money and technology
Blinding us
Stealing our lenses
Replacing our views with creeds
And wants
I don't try to fit into anyone's box
Anymore
If I don't fits I don't sits
And quite honestly
I'm ok with that

Tongues are weapons
But actions are shields
I'm not hurt that you're upset
I don't feel bad for being brutally honest
Exploiting every feeling
Stabbing your front when you claim it was the back
I was only trying to help
But you mistook help for hell.
(I'm innocent)

Better at creating,
The best at manipulating,
But why do I always find myself...
Sat here just waiting?

I'm missing something
I'm not as sharp as you
As strong as you
As scared
Bruised
Beat
Broken
Brittle
I'm missing something
I can't fit a tiny object
Into a teeny tiny hole
I don't rehearse numbers in my head
Like you do
Instantly know right from wrong
And left from right
You do firm handshakes
While I ..
I shake
at the thought of
Investments
Investing time
Investing money
Investing love
Investing friendship
I live in solitude
And nobody seems to understand
I'm missing something
And I don't know what to do

Dreams can be so strange
And downright silly
We were cooking delicious spaghetti sauce
From the cheapest tomato paste you can find on the shelf
And I think the floor looked pretty snazzy in red
Slip sliding through the spillage
We were doing the real pre salsa
And then I blinked
And it was over

Maybe you never wanted to hear my voice
Maybe you just needed someone to listen
Maybe you wanted to be
the person that
Closes the coffin
Instead of opens it
Maybe
You wanted to be the hay stack
Instead of the needle
Maybe you were born Romeo
When you were meant to be Juliette
Maybe you found clyde but never
Bonnie
Who ever you are
And who ever I am
We're not missing the jelly
We've just
misplaced the jar.

Icecream you are a sick disease
But here I am
With a spoon in my mouth,
Eating you up like a champ,
Licking every last drop in the bowl,
Believing I am the sickness
And you are the cure
You are the future
You stop time
Dead in its tracks
You reroute the train
Long after its detailed
So I stop and I think
Dr icecream
You are  hired !

i stopped writing
when i realized the world stopped reading
i stopped singing
when the world stopped listening
i stopped living
when the world offered me
dead beings
slobs
addicts
worthless
a-holed
throw me in a hole
dig it so deep that
it could fit me you and your dog
before we both get old
too old to ****
too old to love
too old to reason
too old to stop and
feel the season change
the world painted full of flowers
the kind my mother put in my hair
on the day when love was born
little did she know
that love was never sworn
in
it didnt last
it never lasts.

Only the best survive
Was a tattoo I read on somebody
And I realized that
Surviving isn't an outside source
Survival comes from within

I died on her birthday last year
This year I'm bringing
fireworks
Cake
Balloons
Alcohol
Marijuana
Brownies
Laced *******
Love songs
Sad songs
Dance songs
Acoustics
The rock
The electronic
The non stop
dance clock

So that if she does  
Forgive me,


It's not too late!

Patiently waiting for the text to come in
A ping to remind me I'm still dead from within
I look to the sky but no birds fly on by
It's empty it's grim
It reminds me of him
Bottled up anger can't be contained in a bottle
It explodes like a volcano
And soon no isn't ok though.

On good days it's easy to feel like you are on top of the world
But
On good days bad emotions can still slide in
Like anger or fear
Keeping them at bay is a skill for the wise
Which is not yet me I don't think

Don't read,
Too much,
into what,
you've heard,
It might leave
You with
A bitter
Taste.

Who are you and why are you sinking inside of me ?
Rewriting my thoughts
Erasing novels
Set in stone
When my grandma passed away

I dont want to drown
By your anchor

Vanish from this earth
Like I never existed

Scream at the top of my lungs
While water burrys me
Alive

Get torn apart
By the beasts
In the great big sea

Where white orchas linger
Stomach grumbling
Hungry
And
Blood thirsty for anything
They can sink their teeth in
Tare right through flesh and bone
With ease

No.

I want to blossom like an orchid
Rocket through the sky

With the wind.

i want to live my life

Instead of letting life

Steal the living
From
Out of me.

Not even flys know
When doors swing open
That opportunity is knocking
They just enter -
Ignoring the fact that
Even living comes with a cost

The window cracks open
A sleepy six year old
Drools in the back seat
Face full of sweat
Eyes rolling back in her head
Thumb on the switch
A welcoming invite
For the
Lone sky surfer

Trusting the little girl
It enters
The radio crackles
In and out of frequency
But the fly hears no sound
The fly doesn't see the little girl
As little
The fly doesn't even see the little girl
As girl
The fly just enters
The fly has no fears
Risking its life
For curiosity
Its days are numbered
Soon it pings at the window
Trying desperately to escape
As the little girl swats at it
Its small body
Much smaller than hers
Tires quickly
It's frail wings tear
The girl smiles a sense of accomplishment
As the tiny bug
Clings to it's last limbs of life
A tall brunette returns to the car
Releasing the fly just in time

Lost
Lifted
Loopy
Limping
Literally
Lethal
Licked
Luxury

I don't not want to love
I'm afraid to lose
To lose something is like
Hearing sounds but seeing no picture
Or thinking thoughts but having no voice
I can't lose anymore
I'm already too lost

Love is not being too realistic but not being too abstract
Love is far more the bow and less the arrow it's the ribbon on the present instead of the heart shaped box
Love is knowing when to give and appreciating more when you receive
Love is a single I miss you text at 2am
It's a million miles away thought
And a one thousand dreams in a minute
It's a deconstructed highway
In the middle of *** **** no where
Lost and out of gas
But romance needs no fuel
It doesn't need butane or a lighter
It doesn't spark when you light it
It just finds its own way
Straight through the heart

Writing blind would be difficult
But being blinded by writing is more difficult

I wish I was someone else
But I'd feel bad wishing somebody would have to be me

At some point you will learn:
Sorry this person can no longer be reached

Time isn't a broken clock
Your ticker does feel broken
From time to time
You can't please everyone
Honesty really is the best policy
A job can really
Make or break you
Sleep isn't a waste of time
It's actually necessary
And quite therapeutic
Therapy is helpful
But only if your willing
A soft touch
With harsh words
Are not worth
Spilling milk over

eat expectations for dinner,
gnaw on them like chicken bones,
remind yourself that life is probably going to be a chicken race
your head may fall off from time to time
but really
just enjoy the ride
enjoy the head on the grown
smile when your meant to frown
cry when your meant to be happy
sleep when you should be awoken
just be you
and be happy that you are you
and not anyone elses'
misconceived  view.

I miss you mom
Tough love is difficult in a world of what ifs and why's
Sometimes I waste my energy
Thinking up horrible things that could happen to you
I know nothing lasts forever
But growing up is scary
Especially doing it alone
The stars don't sparkle like they used to
The jet black sky is fading
I want to sleep
I'm tired
But I'm also really scared
What if I wake and you are gone
What if I close my eyes and 10 years pass by
I don't understand fear
But I know I need you here

Emotions are fluid
Time is fluid
Life is fluid
So basically
We are gel filled donuts
And I doughnut
Know
Who wouldn't
Like
Some dough
At the cost of being
A bit nutty ?

Sometimes we feel chained down
Locked in our own self imprisonment
Locked in sometimes the outer world
Sometimes you are too weak to stand
Too humble to climb
And just not strong enough to
Show success
But you'll get there
Just wait
Be patient
And let life
Present itself
If you are too predictable
You're boring
If you're too mysterious
You turn people off
Just be you
The world has alot of the world
And only
One individual
Who is you
Be
You!

You are always better
Than your worst enemy's best thought

I'm bad at lying
Please don't lie to me

I Made a friend recently
She throws big words around
And over explains things
like time isn't even a thing
I wonder if she knows the end is near
She isn't a young chicken
She's been around the block
a time or two
She speaks analytically
And avoids eye contact
Like me
I guess even aging doesn't
Change us

She swore today
I wonder if that means we've unlocked
The door to trust
I hope she knows
I tend to lose my keys

Friendship is a strange thing

When one door closes
Another one opens
Even if its just temporary

I'm trying to believe
In so many different ways
Some messed up
Some straight up
But all I know is
Your what will always be your what
Hold onto that
Curiosity is innocence
And innocence is
Learning injustice
But don't forget that
Injustice
Is one sided
Single viewed
Yet still
Something brand new

The aching body
demands to be held
But the anxious mind
Over-rides with
No chance
in hell !