leaves a deep bubbly feeling
in me.

kind of like how i feel around you,
but unlike you,

coke lets me take it in.
the sweet coca cola taste.

unlike you,
you reserved ****.

i want you,
all of you,

but i can't have it.
because you aren't mine to have.

and that hurts more than it really should.

I know you're tired and you want to put it to rest
But this can't be the end of it
Remember all those things you'd always dreamed you'd have?
All these famous guys you made yourself believe you're destined to marry,
Those places you'd excitedly mapped out in your head,
That plan you had, that once you're free you'd roam the world
Please
I know it's hard
And the future seems more vague than ever
But please try to endure
Please, even just a little more

A blank space occupies my existence.
Sleeping alone again.
My hearts thermometer shattered.
I've caught a cold the day you left and I haven't gotten better.
Loneliness is a detriment to the cardiac.
A coffin without its corpse.
The hollowness of an empty hearse.
Both of us know that funerals don't work this way.
We belonged together
you said we'd never be alone again
you said we would never end
you said
you promised

I don't see those guava trees today neither the little white teak flowers but I see them as images somewhere at the back of my head everytime I see my love. He makes me homesick even though he has no earthly connection to those images, I see them all through him, he makes me a hopeless romantic and a child I have long forgotten.

I am constantly stuck in a place between awake and sleep
And it makes me wonder
How I ended up here
And when I arrived
I am constantly interrogated by the sound and motion of my thoughts
Mainly where I am questioning why the change of heart
Or lack thereof
And why I was sentenced to confinement when proved innocent
These continuous motions have left me seasick
Ever since you took the map and made me walk the plank
And watched along with your pioneers
As their waves crashed into your brain
When you saw it as a cleansing
And welcomed it
Like you assured with my trust
Between your silence and your actions
The only difference is the volumes
Within your actions
They could crack sidewalks
Keeping afloat on my back
Something not so uncommon
I am straying away from your vessel
Slowly but surely
Where I can be found between your constant state of awake and sleep.

IN the moonlight under a ****-bark hickory tree
Watching the yellow shadows melt in hoof-pools,
Listening to the yes and the no of a woman's hands,
I kept my guess why the night was glad.
  
The night was lit with a woman's eyes.
The night was crossed with a woman's hands,
The night kept humming an undersong.