They asked me once,
“Why do you always take the hard path?”

I said,
“It’s not that I choose it
It’s just the only path I see.”

Not all of us are given options.

Some roads are rough
because that’s all there is.

Yeah I'm so funny for the stories I tell, but I lived my twenties thinking living was hell
Sure, now it's hilarious that my past was so **** wild but is it really?
I was just a child
I did what I needed to-
I stuck it out, I took my beatings and I tried not to pout, he was the path I chose and there was no way out.
I was seventeen living miles away and when I needed it most, my family never came.
We wonder now, why I stayed, all the things he did to me I should have felt betrayed.
Though he was my captor, he felt more like a savior and maybe thats why for so long-
I excused his behavior.
When no one else would help me, he would stand right there, yeah sometimes he would hurt me, but so did everyone else who cared.
I know now it wasn't love-
just possession and control,
but that 17 year old girl in me was always desperate to prove that wrong.

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⠀⠀⠀⠀­⠀⠀⠀⠚⠛⠛⠃⠐⠛⠛⠃⠘⠛⠛⠂⠘⠛⠛⠓⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⢻⠏⢠⣿⣷⡄⠹⣿⠋⣠⣶⣿⣿⣶⣄⠙⣿⠏⢠⣾⣿⡄⠹⡟⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠛­⣛⠋⠀⠋⠀⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠀⠙⠀⠙⣛⠛⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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⣰⡟⠀⠈⢻⣆⠀⣴⠟⠉⠀⠀⠉⠻⣦­⠀⣰⡟⠁⠀⢻⣆
⣿⣦⣤⠤⣴⣿⣴⣿⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣿⣦⣿⣦⠤⣤⣴⣿
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I don't know what I was looking for,
in the honey draped lights flashing
in my eyes
And the sound of music
that keeps on playing and playing

And the wind that laps over my face
as the world turns,
Like horses running on axis,
weaving through the lines of shadow
and fireworks
And in their trail, I found
stardust that shimmers and shimmers

I found it confusing sometimes
In the endless mirrors and lights
that spirals in my mind
Like vines coiled around poles
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀  ⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀     ⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⢠⣾⣦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⢠⣾⣦⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⣉⣀⣴⣿⠋⠙⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⣉⣀­⣴⣿⠋⠙⠃⠀
⠀⢰⡟⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⡟⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠘⠃⢸⡿⠀⠀⣀⠀⠀⠹⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠃⢸⡿⠀⠀⣀⠀⠀⠹⡇­⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠘⠃⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠑⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠃⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠙⠀⠀⠀

And the looming sweetness that lingers,
like pink foam swirling in my mouth

I smiled towards the dying sunset,
thinking it would last forever
I try not to close my eyes
and not be blinded
by the world slowly slipping
away

Before the music dies
Before the yellow stars burn out
You might not hear my voice
or even remember my name
But I just want you to know that

I was here

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