We never say, "I love you."
The words always get stuck somewhere between our hearts and our tongues. Forcing us to swallow our affection, and replace the phrases that seem so hard to say with words that are much easier to get out.
Instead of "I miss you." we say "*******."
The distance makes us distraught, as we toss knives at the one person we never want to push away.
Instead of "I trust you." we ask each other to check our phones, because there's nothing on there I don't want her to see.
Instead of "I need you." we look at colleges together.
The idea of leaving each other is so implausible that we spend our time designing our future apartment. Each draft has one shared detail- a wooden bunk bed, so we can fall asleep to the sound of the other's breathing, the reassurance that we will never have to be alone. The reassurance that I will never have to live without my other half.
We never say, "I love you."
We do not need to.
We say it with every sarcastic comment, every inside joke, shared memory, favorite song, every inhale, and every exhale.
I miss you.
I trust you.
I need you.
We never say, "I love you."
Either that, or we never stop saying it.