I look at your eyes and they
remind me of my despair over
my relationships.

Many days of late, I find myself
truly pondering whether or not I
am cut out to be a human being.

It seems my flaws are too many.
To quote Jesse Lacey, "my bright
is too slight to hold back all my
dark."

I wish, I could write poems about
how I'm getting better, but that
isn't the case. My emotional
life feels like a downward spiral.

I feel like I'm building toward
something. i don't feel I have
any happiness in anything I do.

My default is numb. It's so rare
that I experience happiness anymore.
Something is wrong with me.
Something is wrong with me.
Something is wrong with me.
I don't want to live like this.

She rests in the emptiness,
full of love, full of pain.
She spins in the light,
She shines.

Full of love, full of greed,
She cries in the darkness.
Full of love, full of hate,
She shines.

She twirls through the void,
full of love, full of love.
She suffers a birth,
She shines.

She screams to her children,
full of love, full of fear.
Her children don't listen,
She dies.

She is dead.
She is dead.
....
She is dead.

Her children are fading,
full of fear, full of pain.
She spins in the dark,
they die.

She rests in the emptiness,
full of love, full of pain.
She spins on forever,
She shines.

Well misery loves
Company and luckily
I am always free

Angel of exquisite beauty,
wings stained, black as ink.
Though you knew me once,
you've no idea, just how I think.
Of you, of us, of all of this
of whom I dream, and want to kiss.
Just as it should be.

I told you I loved you more,
now you don't love me at all,
it seem this is all life's got in store,
but so far in love I did fall,
and I pretend it's not hurting
that you won't answer my text,
'cause with someone else you are flirting,
everyone left, I should've known you'd be next,
guess I just held on hope,
But if asked for a chance you'd say nope.

Our every kiss, was cast in shade.
each time your presence, had my day made,
it was the dark of night, or rain, or cloud,
the pathetic fallacy was screaming loud,
yet I ignored it, for I loved you,
but now I know, I wasn't meant to.

It's too cloudy tonight, to see the sky,
and in this dark I want to die.
And oh my god that voice is back,
pointing out all that I lack.
Why on earth am I still here?
I've had no purpose for nigh on a year.

You always complain you find me too distracting,
and I can tell by your eyes that you're not just acting,
but you are my distraction too,
and even though I don't love you,
I can lie, and say those words,
as we lie on the grass, watching the birds.

Did you miss me my dear, did you miss my voice?
I thought about it my dear, and this is my choice.
You here, in my arms, forever and more,
Because it's you, my dear, who I adore.
I need to apologize, for making you wait,
So little dragon, you still keen for that date?

Here I am, king of thieves,
she's out there, queen of the seas
but there is something I'll admit,
as all lord-like here I sit,
I miss the days so full of wonder,
risking being torn asunder,
just to adventure with the girl,
who makes my happy enough to twirl.
I want to quest and to explore,
with that girl that I adore,
her hair in the sun's great light,
or stolen kisses by moonlight,
what an adventure that would be,
if it were only you and me.