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Zero Nine Nov 2017
Not thoughtless
   enough to  ****  all day long
Not thoughtful
   enough to  escape the hood
Not petty
   enough to  market my  ancient little lies
Not honest
   enough with my  self  to
   out  grow  these twisted  vines

   All along, I've been
friends, only with the pen
   The pen is kind to me
when  I've  blown  my
chances, myself
   Slice  a  Y  you'll find
   The  heart  is  pa - per
   The  blood  has taken ink

   All along, I've been
friends, only with the pen
   All along, I've not been my own  by
extension, not myself
   No way I ever was
   If you could only see me now  my
  Nov 2017 Zero Nine
Ashly Kocher
What is real
What’s pretend
Go to hell
Come back again

Are we human
Wondering souls
Roaming the earth
Until we grown old

Making mistakes
Fulfilling dreams
Everything around you
May not be what it seems

The grass isn’t always greener
On the other side
It’s all about interpretation
Through someone else's eyes

Crystal waters
Golden white sand
Palm trees swaying
Listening to a band

Looking at something
Believing it’s real
Tangible items
You will always feel

Is it real or fantasy
Either way you look at it
You will see clearly now
When you close your eyes and BELIEVE
  Nov 2017 Zero Nine
have you ever said a word
over and over and over again,
until it sounds like a jumble of sounds
or read it over and over so much that
the letters swim and blur
until the word looks and sounds so ridiculous,
foreign on your ears,
like it suddenly doesn't mean anything..
its just a pile of letters and a gurgle of your voice?

that's what your name is now to me.
its been so long....
that i never had to say it over and over
or read it a million times....
you just faded away.
  Nov 2017 Zero Nine
Swear to love only me.
Don't look at anyone else.
I only look at you.
So only look at me, okay?
Say you love me.
Only me.
You can't stray.
Your heart has to belong to me, and only me.
You're absolutely mine.
No exception.
  Nov 2017 Zero Nine
I indulged myself with a brew
                  Of sand and seashells
      And licked the salt off my hands
                  As I bathed in the cerulean blanket
                             The hollow abyss my only friend

For waves throw, the ripples bloom
            For the harbor sleeps
                            The towers gloom
      My cold haven black, brown, blue
                  The fluctuations in everlasting motion
                                      have endured

And the frigid hands seize my neck
                  And they form a rigid burble
         Turning over my back
                         My skin appeared purple
                                 And my lungs filled with air

                         Yet that frail air never
                                           tasted so sweet
Zero Nine Nov 2017
5 0 0 pieces or more
spill over six accounts
5 0 0 holes for fingers
opened over my skin
so  when  will i learn
to use my feet to seek?
so  when  will i learn
the blood  i  squeeze
will in time run dry?
the gills  that i cut
will swallow the knife?
no time better than now
no time like the present
  to remember to breathe
remember to walk toward
  not away
a comet on legs leaving
trails of  meteorites
no  time  better than now
the ropes of the past lace
through the toes to the wrists
how long has it taken?
how lucky am i that i
filled the flesh canvas
with angry scars and
still  have the  knife?
5 0 0 pieces or more
spill over six accounts
5 0 0 holes for fingers
opened over my skin
the detective is done
with the cold  case  blues
the detective is done
penning I 2 U s
there are enough mountains today
tomorrow and on for the detective
to be insane as long as they want
the detective is done
  with  the  cold  case  blues
   so case closed
So many pieces over so many accounts. I've hit so many angles, conjured so many demons, found so much harmony in the echoes of an old, rightfully retired dissonance. I'm at another point in life where I'm ready to initiate a paradigm shift and say a so long. This is the last personal narrative I plan on writing for as long as I can help it. I'm really looking forward to putting all that crap in containment and concentrating on creative projects. If you've liked what you've read so far, keep an eye out for a collaborative project with Toby (of HP) sometime in the future.

Thanks for reading. Thanks for writing.
- Zan
  Nov 2017 Zero Nine
Grandpa, I can still remember the fun we had
Grandpa, won't forget the way you're smiling to my face
I keep you in my heart, no matter were you are going now
I hear your voice I hear you laugh, when I'm looking in the clouds
I know your pain was such a burden
All the hope, all the turnings
Turned to be the end, my old friend and my world is burning
Life turns to ash, know it's always been that way
I walk it gently to the grave and my family does the same
Mama's on her knees with tear drops on her cheeks
Grandma's screaming 'Oh Lord' I pull her take her in my arms
You were more than just my grandpa
You were my motivator to not care what people say
'Just live your life, fill it with peace and harmony'
Your words stuck on my head, hold a flower to my chest
I lay it down, force a smile and hope that you will find some rest
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