I want kids to stop needing to raise their parents
People say that would take magic
So people have to step up
Because even 5 year old me knew magic isn't real

Is it still classed as mental health
When your tummy warns
You of impending doom
You act accordingly
Only later finding out that
your fears were real
People you wouldn’t want to meet
were in places you were ment to go
And boom was it anxiety
Or was it spiritual connection
Warning you of impending doom.

Because “yes”
Means yes
And “no”
Means no,
Especially when I’m being
Ever so
Serious with the things
I’m seeing
From you; Messaging
But never speaking.
Stop asking questions when
I say so (then
Maybe I’d try to
Be nicer to
You).
There are reasons as to why
I don’t really cry
In front of those I can’t rely
On. Stop bugging me
And then we’ll see.

I find very little encouragement
to live my life these days,
it used to be different when I was ten.

I remember walking down this street
humming and skipping in full joy,
Like I had the juiciest fruit in all of the world
and that fruit held secrets,
carrying more than just sweetness,
It was big, golden and shiny
I think that fruit was my heart,
It was always so full.
Almost overflowing
with sickening sweetness,
exasperating energy
and a sticky smile that was always there.

I would dance around, walk fast then slow
I would roll around, talk so loud then low.
It sickens me now.
Why was I like that ages ago?
What made me so excited about life?
To wake up every day and just....live?

It sickens me even more
That I can't have that again.
It also confuses me
because what is human life
if not a change after change after change?

I'm your loyal dog
And you're my ruling God
I find it quite odd
It sends my brain into a bog
I can't stop following your orders
YOUR ORDERS
The curse, the spell you casted onto me to obey you
I'm your only servant
The loyal servant forced to be observant
I've been praying for you
Even if you treat me like trash
Even if you're the wind and I'm the ash

After a while, you grew tired of me
You abandoned me
You threw me away
Just so that way
You released that curse you placed on me
Just to be adopted by someone else
Just to get cursed by someone else
I barely got a break from all the abuse
From all the use
Yet, they thought I was so oblivious
Just like you thought I was so oblivious
They thought I was so cute - adorable, naïve, thoughts just like you
Why does everyone act like you?
My God?
It's so odd
I feel like I'm stuck in a time loop
Stuck in all the goop

I feel like I'm just a foot rest you can use
I feel like I'm just a puppet you can use
I feel like a young slave you can use
I'm over here working my *** off
Just so you can have work off
Just so you can have a vacation
While I live in caution
Scared of everything
Every single thing