Deep inside
A part of me watches all this
Agelessly youthful eyes
Untainted and unable to be tainted
Cross-legged,
Attention unwavering.

Silent
Giggling
Crying
A shrill voice
That echoes in the
Vast
Lightless
Cavern of my mind

Hand outstretched
Pointing
Dawdling
Recklessly
Pulling me around
Every note clear
Resonating
In my gaze.

Would I but listen
To you and
You alone,
My world would lose its complexity
And my vision would lose
It's simplicity

And every step
Stepping
Towards you
Is a leap
Full of laughter
Painless
Light on my heart

And every step
Stepping
Towards you
Is sped as I land
Back onto earth
Back into my life

And every step
Stepping
Towards you
Is rebalancing myself
As I try to understand
What it is that I am doing
As I gaze out to the empty horizon

And every step,
Stepping
Towards you...
Is full of worry
Every next step reconsidered
Every next foothold possibly
Disfigured
The uncertainty in each step...?
Whispers and whispers
Of silence
Whispers and whispers
For warmth
Whispers and whispers...

With every note that flows
Every stage that goes
I get closer to an end
Maybe closer to you

Every staccato that unfolds
Overlapping that legato left untold
Moves me closer to an end
A stage ending with you

Every rise
And every fall
I hope
To find you

So used to the idea
Of two different melodies
Starting together instantaneously...
That I so desperately want you

But as the arrangement continues to flow
In a cadence of escalating ostinato
The hope that there is a stretto or
Chord progression... Slowly weakens with the idea of you

So much so that
Every beat resonates within me deeper
And courses through my veins
Almost leaving no space
For you

The pain left in every note that
Brings me closer to the end
Twists you into a syncopation
And I into a ballad of bottomless commiseration

I just...
I pray to God
That my composition ends
In the best quality it could ever be.

Relationships...
To me that word
Is the embodiment...
Of Solidity.
Because
Partnership
And Friendship
Are not items to be joked about
To the extent that
The unity between two people
Is almost holy...
To the extent that
Jumping into depths
With a person I barely know
Is overwhelming and suffocating;
that unity...
I would not give away so easily.
For I am a romantic
And for that one person
I give my soul,
my eyes,
my heart...
and my everything.

The world is filled with
Coated entities
Many layers
And of no purity

As soon as I felt
The paint that was painted onto others
Painted on me
I felt infuriated
Frustrated
Helpless... and alone.

As soon as I felt
The paint that I painted on you
Backlash onto me
The oils encircled my throat
And weighed down my chest

That paint that others wield
I cannot bear
Not on me
Not on you

The sorrow is eating me up
Choking me
'I need you...'
I whisper
To the emptiness
Of the place I've reserved
In my heart,
Eating at the warmth reserved
For the people that I even remotely value...

I'm beginning to see swirling clouds
Form in my mind
All the thoughts held back
Away from the glares of their eyes
Cocooning myself
Away from their words filled with lies

I cannot bring myself to stand up...
And I don't know why?
Is it the innocent hurt?
Or the lack of strength left in me to vie
For a warmth that is left unfound
As I shroud myself away from their deceitful reprise
And as the shroud I've covered myself with
Becomes colder, to my demise
I've lost my voice
Between all the screams and cries
That are left unheard
Unhelped
Undermined.