I’m not made of stardust, but the misery of those who came before
I’m the last little shards of their broken dreams and nothing more

I’m the human manifestation of the disappointments of our kind
I’m a creation made of all the faulty building blocks left behind

My body is stitched together with floss made of my insecurities
My skin is the mismatched patchwork of my soul's impurities

My mouth is the instrument made to spread the gospel of hate
My hands pollute everything I touch, which is the great irony of fate

I hear whispers in the night. I yell, “Who are you?”
Only my own voice answers

I cross my hands and pray that what it tells me is not true
Why can’t I tell?

I must have gone crazy… Are the bruises on my skin new?
Pain I can’t feel

I see the world clouded, my view fading under dew
Who am I?

I try, and I try, and I try
All the pictures and people
My head is full of questions
Just why, just why, just why?

The way they talk and smile
Their hands burn on my skin
Longing to be loved and to love
For the effort to be worthwhile

But my heart just doesn’t feel
In its place is left a concave
My chest fully hollowed out
Brain learning to take the wheel

But still, you are in my mind
And my dreams are exactly why
I can’t fall in love in real life
Because loving you has made me blind

I should sleep
But it seems like I'm obsessed
Chasing away my own sanity

All the words in this world seem too narrow to describe the being that is me

So why put myself in a box when I could just choose to be free?

I am my mother’s favorite daughter
The answer to all her wishes and dreams
A companion she couldn’t find in my father
Or at least that’s how it seems

I am the one she has spoiled rotten
The one who is always painted by greed
But the burden that comes with all I have gotten
Is that I’m never just allowed to be me

Sometimes the s in she gets caught in my throat
And the girl I’m about to see turns into a he

That one simple letter that I never wrote
Like its existence just embarrasses me

I’m just not quite there! I can’t admit it out loud
Because what if it makes them think I’m odd?

I’m too scared to let myself stand out in the crowd
To let others see how permanently I’m flawed

So, I choose my fears above my love for her
And pretend I’m something I never were

In the darkness of midnight, the moon turns away its face
I settle down behind my desk and write down my fate

I’ll form my sorrow in the shapes of lyrics and lines
Ones that won’t make sense in the bright morning light

The pen that bleeds ink made from my hatred and guilt
Words like stones that bring down the walls I have built

I’m the midnight poet, my safety the silence before dawn
So, at first light, all these thoughts will be gone.

the burning hatred
has become all I am inside

it is rooted so deep
that from it I can no longer hide

because the malice
is suffocating me like a vine

I can’t even remember
when was the last time

there was a memory
I could proudly call mine

I’ll ask the winds to blow, to carefully kiss you for me.
It’s the gentle whisper of the breeze you meet by the sea.

It will caress your skin, softly brushing over your cheeks.
Carry you forward when you don’t trust in your leaps.
It will calm you down when life becomes too much to bear.
Help you breathe when it seems like there is no more air.
It will hold you in its whirls, that’s how you’ll know I’m there.
Because while I’ll search for you, I’ll leave you in its care.

So, when the winds whisk you away, please don’t be scared.
It’s just a reminder - my love is yours - and will never be shared.

It’s a truth that everyone around us can see
That we are not what we used to be
Is it too late to start changing?
So, we don’t have to face the problems of our making

You don’t have to speak, I already know
The look in your eyes changed a long time ago
Is the look in my eyes still the same?
Or do they reflect the bad choices we’ve made

We have become distant, detached, and cold
And your hand is becoming increasingly difficult to hold
Can we just continue to pretend that we are alright?
Maybe that way we can buy us some more time

So let’s just stand still and wait
Because we both know it’s already too late.

They say we all carry only one half of a soul.
Lost on this earth till we become whole.
I wonder who carries the other half of mine.
And how long I must wander till our paths entwine.

Do you believe that all of this is true?
Do you spend your days looking for me too?
I wonder if you’ve heard all this before.
Or maybe you don’t care what fate has in store.

But wherever I go, I promise to search for you.
Hoping that one day you’ll walk into my view.
I might not know your name or how you're going to look,
But I promise to love you with my heart’s every nook.

Until that day comes, I will love you in writing.
Because when it comes to my heart, there is no hiding.

There are so many things I’m yet to learn
Ignorance I can blame on my youth
But often I realize how badly I’m lacking
The basics everyone else seems to know

What is the source of their information?
How can we go and call it common sense
Is there a manual I have somehow missed
A guidebook for a good way to live

Once did I find it and opened its cover
And I don’t dare to look it up anymore
But still in my dreams, I see the title
“In case your mother didn’t teach you”

What if I never become more than I am now?
If I have buried myself too deep into the ground?

My promises of the future are just an empty vow
My dreams a flicker of life, that will never be found

I swear that I really gave life a shot, and I tried
But it seems like my lifeline got twisted and tied

So, when the silence falls, let me whisper my final wish
Allow me to admit out loud that I’m ready to quit

And just pray with me, that it will be quick

I know your smile is a lie, but I can't help but fall in.
Create dreams of the feelings you might hold within.
Your name is the secret I whisper alone in the dark.
And when you say mine, it's feeding drugs to a narc.
Maybe the stories in your eyes are once I've made up.
Knowing it makes me a fool, because I don't want to stop.


I know loving you is stupid, and what a fool I must be.
I spend my days listening as my heart and mind disagree.
Sometimes I wonder if you're worth losing myself for.
But I can't stop myself from only needing you more.
You always come too close, and I forget how to be.
Because near you, there is no oxygen left to breathe.


I offer myself to you, heart out and completely bare.
But you walk by it all like I'm nothing more than air.
I'll let you hold me in your palm, just treat me like you care.
I'm hopelessly yours, even if you are not aware.

I can't sleep at night because I only dream of you.
All the things I see haunt me, never becoming true.

I have this strange feeling. My heart longs for a place.
It’s a strange ache, I’ve never been able to name.

Sometimes I wonder, maybe that’s where you are.
And all these oceans between are what keep us apart.

They say you find your home when you follow your heart.
And maybe mine is already there, waiting in your arms.

I have always had this irrational fear
I would look at water and think I’m drowning
It’s not that I’m scared of the vastness of the sea
But I’m rendered weak under its calling

Every lap of the waves echoes my name
Like a treasure, luring me closer with its shining
Maybe there is no such thing as irrational fear
Perhaps I have just been waiting for the right timing

With shaking fingers, I pull myself above the fence
Time blurs, the seconds stretch right before I dive in
I think I always knew it would come to this
So, I’m no longer afraid as I breathe the water in